My boyfriend got defensive about a female his family invited out: Thoughts?

So a little back story, my boyfriend is 16 years older than I and we have a child together. So his family member invites us out to do something with all the kids, we go, and we all have fun. Well, his family member brings a newly single female along. My boyfriend mentions something about her I ask when he and his family member ever talked about her; he says they never have. My boyfriend then says something about how she used to work at a restaurant we go to frequently. I ask how he would know as I’ve never seen her. Then I ask if his family member told him, he says yes. Well, okay, now we’re back to when did you and your family member talk about her? He gets defensive and begins yelling, saying I’m accusing him of something. Which I’m not; I’m just trying to figure out the whole story here as I feel it doesn’t quite add up. I told him the fact that he’s getting so defensive over a female he claims to not know is pretty suspect. He says I’m always accusing him of something or looking to fight. All of this after we both agreed to talk through things more so I would stop overthinking and so he would stop keeping things bottled up. How would you react in this situation? Do you feel I was somehow in the wrong?


fallow your gut. my husband gets that way when he is not telling the full truth.


As you mentioned, you overthink things, it sounds like you are cross-examining him and when he offers you more information it’s another cross-examination, if I were him I would dread mentioning anything as it might lead to 20 questions. If you suspect something ask it and if he says no, let it go. It sounds exhausting and annoying, he probably keeps things bottled up because it’s going to turn into a cross-examination which leads to a question then an answer that leads to another question, just let it go.


I agree that it’s weird he’s getting defensive just off of simple questions. I’m someone that hates being questioned but you weren’t even asking anything invasive for him to get like that. I’m leaning towards he knows her (ex, a hookup, old friend etc.) :thinking:


Yup, definitely lying!


Sounds like you’re a bit whacko. You said somebody else invited this girl and then you essentially attacked your boyfriend about her being there by questioning him and you don’t make it seem like he did anything shady


Why does it matter tho?


He didn’t invite her out his family did and you were also invited to so there wasn’t anything shady going on and maybe he was just trying to down play the situation bc like u said u overthink things sometimes…unless u have proof that him and this woman had a history together or find out something is going on now I wouldn’t be to concerned right now but that’s my opinion and you do what you feel is right for you. Hope everything works out for yall!


Mmmmm just something isn’t right yup he’s hiding something


You sound like a narcissist.


Its not a big deal…atleast I wouldn’t make a big deal of it … im just curious …why did the inlaws invite her anyway …andvhow do they know her …


Girl…She is a ‘friend of the family’ aka EX girlfriend…
He’s gaslighting you…


Definitely sounds strange

Red flag, hes acting that way for a reason


You are a freaking wacko and he should dump you yesterday


Let it go Fr unless you have proof of something it would be different he didn’t invite the person his family did sounds like your just making your own problems yea it’s a little strange him acting like he is but just let it go for now unless you find some kinds proof or evidence of him doing something or lying about something about her


I myself get mad when I feel like im being accused. And I would probably say the same thing (there was no convo) if i felt like a unnecessary fight was coming on


If someone asked me the same question that I already answered. I’m gonna assume I’m being accused of something. Be more secure in yourself. And the answer will come to light.


Women’s intuition is ALWAYS on point. If it doesn’t make sense it isn’t true. I will stand by this any day.


Sounds to me like you want it to be something…

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