My boyfriend got mad at me for sending my childs father a picture of her: Thoughts?

So not sure how to phrase this or even ask, but I have an almost three-year daughter, who’s biological father left us when she was five months old. When she was ten months old, I got a boyfriend and have been with him ever since, and she calls him “daddy” and everything. He had been there for us for everything. He let us move in with him, and I quit my job to stay home and raise her, the whole works! I couldn’t ask for a better father for my baby girl. But… her biological dad had gotten her almost every other weekend since she was 10 months old, he’s remarried and adopted a child of their own, and a month ago up and moved 9 hours away… and he and I have never really gotten asking at the co-parenting thing, we hardly agree on anything… and most of the time I will only tell him stuff about her when he asks. I wish I could say he’s done the same for me, but he hasn’t… anyhow, yesterday was Halloween, and I sent him a couple of pictures of my daughter in her Halloween costume, my current bf seen it on my phone and told me I broke his heart by doing that. Says that her biological dad doesn’t deserve that, that I should never even send him anything about her unless he asks… in which he’s been moved away for exactly a month now and only asked about her once… I sent him the pictures honestly to clear my conscience, so in the future no one can say that I kept her from him, and she’ll know when she gets older that I didn’t keep her from him, that it was him who chose to leave… so my question is, should I have or should I have not sent those pictures to him without him asking about her first.


It was a cute photo and you wanted to share. It is ok to do that.


You were kind and the bigger parent to share a picture of her.


If he didnt ask i wouldnt have done it no… I agree qith him… On this one.


Be the bigger person. Always. No matter what. Your child deserves it.


You’re bf needs to MAN UP and GROW UP … Good for you for being the bigger person !!! Mad props to you regarless of the baby daddy situation … … #PettyAintPretty


From your bf’s perspective I can see where he’s coming from. I would say he probably feels like he has been her dad so why should this other guy be ‘entitled’ to anything just bc he donated sperm. It may make him feel like in some way he’s not good enough. But having been in your position I understand that you aren’t trying to make him feel that way. You are simply trying your best to not be “that mom” that purposely breaks a bond between child & parent. I don’t think you did anything wrong but maybe you should talk with your bf & help him understand that you do acknowledge his feelings & empathise but that you aren’t trying to make him feel ‘less’ in any way, simply trying to ensure at the end of the day you truly have done all you can to allow a natural relationship between you daughters dad & her. Whether the biological dad chooses to nurture it or not.


No you didn’t do anything wrong. I do the same thing with my ex. And the bio dad actually has been pretty involved so he should get a cute holiday pic. He stepped into this situation he should understand there is a another man who has claim to that child too


That was good of you. My husband told me to send photos to my sons bio dad.
You never wanna be able to say you didnt do everything you could. His relationship with her is not your responsibility, but you being kind is. That was kind. I’m sure daddy is hurt and he will live. He is her daddy and just wants to protect her. :heart:


Well then I get rid of him if he cant be a adult about co parenting with ur ex

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It’s up to you not your boyfriend, as much as he’s her father figure she has a father that does sometimes ask about her weather he’s moved away or not, you feel good for doing it don’t let anyone make u feel rubbish for it!


I would of done it I can see where your boyfriend is coming from in a way because he sees it as he’s the one that’s there not your ex now days BUT…because your ex wasn’t just a dad that didn’t care from day one he’s actually been getting her every other weekend and has been in her life as well so it’s different circumstances so weather your bf likes it or not she has two daddies and that’s just the way it is I wouldn’t let any man come in between her and her daddy’s relationship and neither should you 🤷


And when your kid asks about it later in life you can always say you tried. That’s important too.


I would not. If he doesn’t care care enough to inquire , I would not make an effort.


I always send updated pictures to my son’s father. It does not need to be more then just sending a picture and him saying thank you. Your boyfriend needs to understand that even tho hes her father figure atm… she still has another father.


Girl you did nothing wrong. Sounds like he’s trying to control the situation.


Absolutely! Never take a child from its other parent. They will do the damage themselves and your little ones will never be able to say “you wouldn’t let me be in his/her life”. This is coming from personal experience my kids figured it out by time they were 9. As for your new boyfriend, I understand his feelings but that little girl knows he loves her and who has been there for her


Its not your job to force your childs father to be a part of her life. Im with your husband on this. If the dad isnt going to put im effort then dont try and force it…its his loss and it sounds like your daughter has al the love she needs


Send the pictures. Explain to your boyfriend why and hopefully he’ll understand. It’s just like sending a wallet of school pictures you send to relatives your child hardly sees


I see both sides and agree with both sides. You can show your daughter you tried…end of story