My Boyfriend Got Mad That My Ex-Husband Bought Our Child a Gift: Advice?

QUESTION:

"My ex-husband got my baby a birthday present that is not his kid (he just turned 1). My boyfriend of 2 years says it’s wrong and people shouldn’t give the baby presents that aren’t really involved in the baby’s life, but it’s all my fault!

He always says, oh, he better not look at or talk to the baby, or he gets mad at me… I have other kids with my ex so I have to drop and pick-up them and always have my baby with me.

I told him he’s selfish because it’s a child and there is no harm, but he can get my now-kids presents… ain’t it the same thing?"

RELATED QUESTION: Should I not buy my daughter so many Christmas gifts due to COVID?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“Bloody hell, my dad would come to pick me up and my brother up (who wasn’t even biologically his) for the weekend. He would turn up with his 2 new kids. Come in have a cup of tea with my mum and stepdad and play with my new sister from my mum’s side.
Because as long as we were all happy that’s what mattered.”

“Even though it is ‘just a baby,’ the ex is showing respect to his own kids by being accepting of their new sibling. There’s nothing wrong with it. The current bf needs to stop being a child. Or is he afraid it’ll be expected that he show the same respect towards the ‘step’ children and doesn’t want to?”

“Maybe your ex-husband is not wanting all the kids to feel left out or different. Your ex is being very mature and involving the other sibling so it doesn’t cause fights between any of your kids. I would tell the boyfriend to deal with it or go away.”

“Sounds like you need to be careful about control issues that could turn bad real quick.”

“You have other children with your ex. This baby is his biological children’s sibling. What a wonderful gesture to acknowledge the child’s birthday. Your current SO is incredibly childish.”

“Major red flag with your boyfriend! Anyone who shows love to your child isn’t the problem. Your ex is including your new child so as not to exclude them. How does your current boyfriend treat your other children? Now that the baby has arrived does he treat them differently? These are the things that you really need to look for, I just got out of a relationship that ended horribly because I didn’t look at the warning signs in the beginning. Very similar to your situation.”

“That’s immature. Growing up my brother’s dad included me in everything and when I started feeling left out, he talked to my brother and took me alone one weekend. He didn’t have to do that, I wasn’t his kid. But growing up with that love and support was great for me. Your boyfriend needs to understand that maybe he did it to set a good example for his biological children. By not treating the one that isn’t his any different he is showing them they have no reason to also and when they grow up and know the whole story it will paint him as a great dad/man/person.”

“Sounds like jealousy. My mom and dad have three kids and my mom and stepdad have 4 kids. My dad has babysat my half-siblings, buys them presents, comes to their parties, and our family Christmases. Co parenting should be that way it’s better for the kids.”

“My brother & sister’s mom would always get me something for Christmas. I always thought it was the nicest thing. Your BF needs to grow up. Your Ex is showing your children how a blended family works and your BF needs to get on board or get out.”

“I think it’s very nice of your ex-husband. He’s setting a good example for the children you do have together! Your boyfriend seems very immature and insecure!”

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

254 Likes

He’s being childish he should be GREATFUL your ex gave ur child a present

2 Likes

Huge red flag, leave that man now

9 Likes

Leave…RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!

1 Like

Stick his dummy in his mouth and tell him to shut his hole :rofl: never heard anything so pathetic in my life. And ask yourself why your with someone as child like as he. GET OUT… IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE

Hes pathetic honestly…

1 Like

Red Flag!! Get away from him!!

3 Likes

He including the baby so when baby grows up baby wont feel left out. Hats off to your ex.

21 Likes

No its really nice of him. Thats a weird thing to be upset about. He needs to grow up

6 Likes

Run. It’s a gift not the end of the world.

2 Likes

My ex always gave my daughter a gift when he would bring his sons gifts. My man never cared, he thought it was nice

Sounds like a douche! Leave

2 Likes

I think it nice of your ex to include your child!!

2 Likes

He’s very insecure and jealous, tread carefully with a man like that he could turn into a control freak

26 Likes

Honestly, I think it was very thoughtful and kind that your ex bought a gift for the baby. He may have even let your older children pick out the gift for the baby. What’s the harm truly?! Would your bf throw such a tantrum over anyone else getting a gift??? Probably not! So the problem isn’t that your ex bought a gift, the problem is your bf! RUN bc this is just the tip of the iceberg…

13 Likes

Extremely childish. My parents split up, and my mom remarried a younger guy. She got her tubes untied and they had a baby together. My sister is now 12. She calls MY dad who is no relation to her grandpa. It’s a beautiful thing that he would include your child that isn’t his. Its setting amazing standards for your children as to how others should be treated and thought of.

Does your current bf give presents to your children with the ex?

4 Likes

I think your boyfriend is acting a bit immature. That was a nice gesture. I mean the baby’s siblings are his kids. He sees the baby all the time.
The boyfriend sounds like the green monster of jealousy has come into is heart.

6 Likes

I buy my ex husband’s daughter that isn’t mine presents it’s our son’s sister so of course heck I’ve even bought his baby mama something before they aren’t together anymore but you know. It’s not for my ex it’s for the kids that’s what your bf needs to realize that baby you share is the brother to your kids .

That’s childish. You have to only consider what is best for the child. My father had a daughter before he got with my mother, eventually having me and my younger sis, his first babys mother had another kid with someone else after they split. We all grew up together. All siblings whether we were half or not even blood at all. My father treated my older sisters brother like a son. Even got his name tattooed on him when he got his kids names. Blended family. Get with the picture or get your toxic ass out.