So me and my b.f have been in a relationship for 10 years we have 5 kids, I am stuck with what to do, he is the perfect man but too old school, he looks after us financially if we need anything he’s their to buy it and always their for the kids when they need things and works 6 days a week pays all the bills makes sure the cars are legal etc, never disrespects me, we don’t argue much he just walks away he’s never hurt me doesn’t go out drinking and mucking around etc and goes to church Sunday’s, works around the house when he’s not at work, their is just one big thing for me and that is he’s to old school, he wants his dinners cooked and clothes done and that’s fine I do it but it gets tiring doing the same thing everyday by yourself, even if he comes home early I still eat alone because theirs something he needs to do outside, he don’t have time for family outings or fun or a sense of humour or romantic at all, and I’m the opposite, I could go to the beach and sit their until the sun goes down happily watching my kids play and smile or fishing or dinner at the park with family or movies etc but it’s just me and the kids and a big part of me always wish’s he would be with us but he would rather be at home catching up with mates or lawns, and if I did make him come it ends up in an argument because he’s in a grump or drives his own car so he can leave when he feels like it, I don’t talk to him in the day he works long hours but I can’t get through to him how lonely I am without him just saying I moan too much and I should be grateful to have a man like him, we don’t have a relationship in the bedroom cause I don’t know how to be intimate with him he doesn’t like to kiss or cuddle so I’m never in the mood but when we do have sex itl be with no kissing and lube, I don’t enjoy it cause I’m not turned on and it lasts like 2 minutes and it has been this way since we met, I’ve never been on top i just can’t do it without being turned on, we use to be spontaneous but only if we we drank but we don’t drink anymore so I guess I’m bored, well now he’s got the money to buy our house and I’m not sure I want to carry on living like this for the rest of my life or am I just being stupid and throwing away a good thing, I’m stuck and don’t want to make the wrong choice but I am soo lonely and don’t even remember what’s it’s like to felt loved and touched and held and made feel special on a birthday or valentines or even a date, we are two totally different personalities that have absolutely nothing in common, he’s passionate about money and living luxury and I don’t care about anything like that mine is family and memories, making the most of life living happy, can we workout for the long run?? He is my first love and relationship, so I don’t know what to do, I have been unhappy about this for years, and I feel like it’s going to get worst, advice and no judgment please… help!!
So you’ve been with the man 10 years he takes care of you and the children by his self financially and you’re bitching because you got to make his plate and do his laundry girl you don’t know how lucky you have it
I would definitely talk to about it. Two him how you really feel and tell him you are tired of living this way. Don’t just throw something away like that especially if he treats you good and the kids.
If you’re miserable now you will be miserable the rest of your life and that takes a big impact on the kids when they are older and trying to figure themselves out. If he’s not willing to compromise then you have to figure out if you want to spend the rest of your life feeling this way
Marriage counseling can help you both sort out what you want in the relationship and where you can reach a compromise so you both get some of what you’re looking for. It can also help you see if it’s not worth it to continue.
Maybe a sex therapist could help you with advice for the bedroom if the marriage counselor can’t.
People throw away good things in hopes of finding better. Don’t be stupid. Just talk to him.
Try to convince him to go to counceling. These dont seem like things that you guys couldnt fix… of theres still love there, then id definitely tey
Would he do counseling, or would he change for you and the kids? Maybe he’s afraid of an emotional connection. I think counseling is the key.
Sit down and talk to him. Don’t let him just walk away tell him seriously that this is such a big deal to you that you are unhappy and he has to learn to spend time with his family or learn to live without you. Money comes and goes family doesn’t
You can’t settle. Life is too short. You deserve more then this. Yes it’s fantastic he’s a great guy, keeps his family and such but he’s not thinking of you. I’d say counselling. If that doesn’t work, maybe consider your options
Well u didn’t know this 5 kids ago but u continued to make kids and put the in the mix of all thos
Show him what u just wrote have you every explained it to him like this? It might help x
This is no way to live. Free yourself.
That is one long sentence!
Something attracted you to him to begin with so i would say try counseling and see where that gets you. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side …
Marriage/couples counseling is worth it in my opinion. It really helps! You could always ask him to switch to part time so that you can also get a job and work around each others schedules. Ask him to join you in the kitchen to help you make dinner. Teach him! Let the kids stay at a trusted family members house for a day or night and take your hubby out and do something fun. I certainly wouldn’t throw this relationship away. He sounds like a great husband/father. Just sit him down and tell him how you feel. Saying “I FEEL this way/that way” instead of saying “YOU don’t do this anymore, etc” will go over a lot better. Don’t make him feel unappreciated by your words. You never know, he may feel the same way as you do! Best of luck mama💜
I couldn’t live life being that unhappy with a partner. Nope.
Old fashioned ? Your not married… not that I’m judging. It’s just not old fashioned I mean in a way if things get worse a tad easier at leaving in some ways.you cant really make him change he is who he is with certain things but the intamate part and romance can be worked on that’s a good thing. Maybe try I statements and reading love languages together and counseling can always help. He sounds like he cares alot by doing for you and your children maybe that’s how he shows love. I dont think giving up on this would be good. If your lonely maybe try a hobbie or volunteering giving you and your guy something to talk about other that Bill’s and kids. I wish you luck
Sounds like yall have different love languages. …talk it out
Maybe write him a letter since he thinks your moaning when you voice your unhappiness. Tell him things have to change or you will be making changes on your relationship status … I’m sorry your unhappy and honestly when I first started reading your post I thought you were crazy to be complaining at first (you sure did butter him up) but then as I kept reading I felt your pain and have found my self in a similar relationship and did have courage to leave for the sake of my own happiness because I knew I didn’t feel love like I have always wanted. I stayed in a relationship I didn’t like or want for longer than I should of and it was for our child. Your children want you to be happy. I couldn’t be my best self or best mother while living in misery.