My boyfriend is not good with handling money: Advice?

Break bills down into weekly amounts. He needs to give you that money every payday.
My husband is the same. Telling him the day before payday what is due and how much is how we make it work.

Before moving in Line out a budget. We have a great one on microsoft money.
A joint bank acct, for bill paying that both people put a budgeted amount into wach month. Then each keep your own. There are also money managment programs, learn more together.

Ive been in a similar relationship/marriage. Married for 4 years, living together for 5-6. He is TERRIBLE and is now just learning the error of his ways but he has spent years digging a hole just to get himself out of another and it went on and on. We do not mix our money because I cant trust him and I dont want more of a headache. However when it comes to our home and paying bills, I have money from every check of his that comes right to me so things are ‘fair’. Otherwise he has his and I have mine. It works but its not for everyone.

1 Like

Ground rules around bills. They HAVE to be jointly met. I would be concerned about the borrowing that hasnt been paid back. Red Flag. That is a lifestyle for people with money issues. Of course, he gas got away with it first time, he will need a loan again, and that wont be fully paid back and so on. Resentment will build up and sour the relationship. Walk I think. They rarely change, but regularly get progressively worse.

My ex owned me 1,000 i havent been paid that was about 18 years ago

Slippery slops…what kind of relationship do u wanna have?

Don’t put your money into an account with him. He will spend yours too. I think get rid of him or you take control of the money

You guys can have a joint account but not your only account. The account is only for bills, where his portion of the bills money get direct deposited from his paycheck and that way he never sees it. That way he can’t spend it. My husband of 21 years is the same dam way…

Honestly I would tell you if you cannot afford the bills on your own without him, don’t move in with him. Just covers your own ass, if things happen you don’t have ti move again.

If he isn’t prioritizing paying you back, then he isn’t prioritizing you. Stay with him if you want, but dont move in with him.


When my husband and I first lived together, we had a joint account where we each put half the living expenses and then any extra money stayed in our private accounts to be spent as we pleased.


Lay it out on the table and let him know how you feel about it. I wouldn’t move in with him until he can prove he will be responsible

Do not get a joint account it will just cause problems but you need to address the problem before moving in together or it will never work

My fiancé and I have a joint account. We can spend up to $20 without asking, anything over $20 (other than bills) must be discussed first. If he sells one of his guitars or something he can use that money on whatever he wants. Same as if I sell anything of mine.

The hell I’d move in with a “man” and worry if he gonna at his part.
Um nope!!! Tell him to save up 6 months rent then you can talk. Because it won’t get better and he will expect you to “take care of his part” with the promise I’ll pay back.
Or do one account for bills only(his half must be put in, before spending a cent) but still I don’t think he’s trustworthy. You’re still out money from a loan.

If you can get him to auto deposit all or most of his paycheck into an account he can’t access, do it. I’d not live together until he could be more responsible.

Maybe therapy for him to find the roots of his spendthrift ways (money is never just about money), then financial counseling for you together.

Arrange with your banks in advance to get your paychecks cashed into one dollar bills. Then create piles for all current and potential bills, including contributing to a 3-month cushion for when a job is lost or disaster strikes, medical co-pays and other expenses, a $400 emergency fund, and a portion for savings for the future)house, education, children). Sometimes when people count out the dollar bills and see the stacks it helps them understand.

Unless he agrees to turn all the money and financial control over to you and get an allowance, this is a battle you’ll be fighting forever. If he proves he can be more responsible over time, you can loosen the reins a bit.

Why don’t you pay attention to the warning signs??? If he hasn’t paid you what he borrowed, he never will. Don’t go into a house with him expecting that will be the inspiration to do better. It may cost hundreds now, but in a house it will be tens of thousands. Get some common sense about your life


DO NOT MAKE A JOINT ACCOUNT please just don’t do that.


One of the top reasons for couples to split is money. It’s a life long battle. You have an insight on your challenges. Respect what you know. Make good choices accordingly.

My fiancé isn’t that grey with money. So we agreed that I’ll manage all the bills and he’ll just send me what’s needed when he gets paid and he’s free to spend the rest (provided he can get groceries as needed).

Get that $$ back
Red flag

1 Like