My boyfriend is trying to tell me how I should parent my kids: Advice?

I have three children from previous relationships and am dating this guy. My kids call him dad, and he has stepped up tremendously. However, I have an issue, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or what- I feel that he doesn’t respect my kids. My middle child refuses to eat meat (he’s 4 yrs) he says it makes him sad that it’s an animal I say it’s his body and I’m not going to force him to eat something like that if he chooses not to, but he doesn’t get anything else, my boyfriend says I need to force him to eat it. He says he’s a child and doesn’t get to make choices like that. He says he’s just a child he needs to do as I (we) say. I’m so lost on this topic. We fight about it constantly, and I just don’t know what to do anymore- any advice?

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Your the mom if he don’t want to eat it don’t make him period my son doesn’t eat meat either so what they don’t want it

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Ugh yeah you can’t force people to eat something they don’t want to. That’s torture.

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Yeah, no.

That’s toxic as fuck.
Children can make their own choices. Especially ones like that.

Please DO NOT force them to eat meat if they don’t want to.

Honestly I would dump him.

Dump him. He’s crazy. Those are your kids. And he’s 4. Dont traumatize him. Jeez.

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Food is something you should never punish over. If he wants to not eat meat then let him there are other ways to get what he needs.
I do think you guys need to come together as a unit other wise he will get walked all over.

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Well you messed up when you let him think he was a father meaning he can parent YOUR children. Your boyfriend shouldnt be playing daddy until he knows how to handle children.

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Either he respects you and your children or he would be gone . My husband made it very clear when we started dating his kids were #1 and either I understand that or it’s not going to work . He does 99% of decisions and discipline when it comes to them . We now have 2 other children and I treat them all the same but after 8 1/2 years I would never over step him or decide something when I know how he feels about the situation

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Not his kids not his place.

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No!! You can’t force them to eat… there are textural issues with kids too where theu will gag
And he is setting the stage for eating disorders in the future
He needs to stop acting like they are things to be controlled

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Obedience at this age is especially important. If you allow them to call him dad and allow him to take the father role, then that is part of it.

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4 year olds have feelings too that can effect their whole lives…

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no. you do not need to force your kid to eat meat. as long as your child is eating and healthy then it is NO ONE’S concern but yours. does your bf also try to control you in other ways? or your kids? if yes, please dont deal with it anymore or it will get worse. you can try and coax your child to eat new and different foods, but to force is another thing. you just need to do what you feel is right for you and the kids.

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If you don’t want a significant other making parenting decisions then you probably aren’t as ready as you thought you were for a relationship. Including your significant other in parenting decisions is important for all of you if you really want him in your life.

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I would have him try it once if he doesn’t like it then no

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It is your child. And tbh until he actually has a child of his own will he truly understand what you mean. Throw the whole dude away :wastebasket:

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Your kids not his… this shouldn’t even be a question.

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Allow your kids to call him dad but don’t let him act like a dad? Ya, you have the problem, not him.

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That’s cruel. Don’t make your kid put anything in his body he doesn’t want to. Show him that you respect his body and listen to his concern so he will do the same to you and others. Your bf should respect you and your son enough to understand that. This is how resentment can start.

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It’s YOUR children, he has a line he cannot cross and that is one of them. If that child doesn’t want meat, so what. Give him extra veggies. Support him. Don’t allow anyone to break him down because he disagrees with his choices. Don’t back down mama. Simply tell him how you feel and why you’d rather allow the choice. You’re not making him a whole new meal and allowing him to omit meat, nothing wrong with it.