So I met my boyfriend over a year ago and we are expecting our first baby together Christmas 2019 he will be my first and his second, I knew from the start he had a son and when we first started talking I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t a bunch of drama and he told me that it was not planned and he was never in a relationship with his babymoma, he said he went to a party one night and he was drunk and the condom broke and 3 months later she called saying that he was going to be a father and I believed that because I had no reason not too it sounded legit so we got serious in our relationship talking about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, and 7 months later I became pregnant and we are so excited, but shortly after I became pregnant things were okay but our relationship wasn’t doing so well anymore and he always had to much communication with his babymoma that wasn’t neccercey nothing sexual but just constant back and fourth about money and visits and she tried to be involved about my baby with him but she never spoke to me directly and was very disrespectful before I ever even met her so I went through his phone and found a message she sent him about an update on their divorce and it this point I was 6 month pregnant and just found out that the man I love and am having a baby girl with has lied to me for almost a year about somthing so important and I talked to him about it and I almost left but I wanted to try and fix things because I truly love him, and we have talked about it and he said he never told me because he didn’t want me to leave him so I’m trying to move on I have forgiven him but it’s still a sore spot and he gets a month off work for when I have our baby and I told him I wanted that time for just him and I to kind of be alone with or baby and try to heal and repair the trust he’s lost and he tells me that I’m being selfish and that after 1 week of having our baby he’s going to get his son for the rest of the 3 weeks he’s off and keep in mind his son is still young and needs alot of care and attention too and I just don’t feel like we are going to have that time that I not only want but need in order to heal and trust him again, I feel like it’s selfish of me but at the same time I want don’t think it’s that big of deal he can get his son after I’ve had time to heal after having my first baby and had time to adjust to being a first time mom. Please let me know if I’m selfish or if I have a right to want that time.
Better get to know this child because it is your baby’s brother for life even if you guys split. You’ve had time to accept this and move on or not… children can’t be put on hold while you guys “get stronger”.
leave while you can HE IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND he was another woman’s husband when he met you and LIED about it , You deserve better. He sounds very immature and irresponsible. message me if you want to chat about anything else… sorry your going through this… GOD will make a way and provide, you are never alone.
Hell no honey…take your preacious cargo…you. Just dont need him and all his crap…move on…kick him out to the curb… Sounds like you are young …i should of did what im telling you about…years ago…but i thought being young that he wpuld change lol nope…it wpuld of been hard at first but i wpuldnt have his baggage…to deal with. And try to raise him also. He will find someone else and do you the same way he did tjis other girl the man. I am talking about was a player…he ended up with 11 kids married.some of his babys mommas…lucky i walked away
Youre not wrong for being uoset about the lie… Youre completely selfish for not wanting his son around. What happens if yall have another kid in the future or if you do by someone else are you going to send this one away?? You knew he had a kid.
A lie is a lie and you’re not being selfish at all that’s bs he should understand where you are coming from he’s the one being selfish
How would you feel if the roles were reversed. I don’t blame you for being upset about the lie, but you said you forgave him… so now do that… and not wanting his son around… how would you feel if you were the ex wife and the new girlfriend didn’t want your daughter with her dad… all you’re going to do is start a huge war with the ex wife… one that may end up with you being alone. Careful what you wish for
Um, how about you move out right now? What he did is not a small thing. I can’t understand why you stuck around. No way on Earth would I have stayed after that.
He cheated on her with you… he will probably cheat on you with the next. Sorry but true… however as far as his kid goes… you cant and should not keep him away from them. They deserve to see there father
Leave. It’s not going to get better. Lesson learned. Move on. Seriously. Speaking from experience. Things will just get more messed up and more nuts. Take yourself and your child out of an unhealthy situation. Seriously.
ok lying was messed up and all … but why are you being selfish about not wanting his other child around??
He should have told truth from day one. Getting a divorce, he had relationship with baby momma
He is the selfish one and he isn’t to be trusted. Period.
I’m not going to speak on his nonsense. However, you are selfish and treating his child as an inconvenience. It’s not about you when there is another child involved. His child needs to bond with his new brother or sister and not be cast aside so you get your alone time. Phft, alone is a thing of the past. Both children deserve equal time. Period.
Ok… He said he wasn’t in a relationship with the babies momma… He told you that for a year and the year he was telling you that, he was MARRIED. Hate to break the news to you but if your relationship isn’t that great right now, he’s probably already lying to some other woman about you. As for him spending time with his son, yes you are selfish to ask him not to do that. That child was there before you were and if you think you can’t handle that our you’re going to have resentment then you need to move on.
Give him the boot! File paperwork for child support and custody but don’t expect him to “man up” and be a husband or great father.
It honestly sounds to me like neither of you are ready to be a family with each other. A week with just you 3 makes sense but not a month, if you have another child would you send this one away for a month because it sounds like that is what you are asking him to do.
No son, maybe a short visit but not 3 weeks…
You have a right to be upset, but then you said you forgave him. Then you move on to the real issue, which is you dont want him spending time with his child from another mother. You knew he had a child. Get over it.
It almost seems like history repeating itself, I find that people usually don’t change their patterns of behavior. I would look after yourself and your baby first. he sounds like a child and you will already have one to take care of without adding him too. If it’s meant to be it will work out and he will grow up but either way you’re about to be a mommy and your child needs you first.