My boyfriend no longer helps the baby: Advice?

My boyfriend and I got together a little over a year ago, and therefor awhile everything was perfect. I found out I was pregnant in February this year after only about 4-5 months of us being together. The entire time I was pregnant, we both worked, and we’re both really looking forward to meeting our little boy. When I went into labor, I had to call his supervisor at work and ask them to send him to the hospital, which was about an hour away from where he worked. He came to the hospital and was there the entire time I was in labor and even helped me with everything I needed after having to have an emergency c-section. He jumped at the chance to get to hold his son and take care of him and hold him. Fast forward three weeks later and I could tell he was changing. He got to where he didn’t want to hold him; he didn’t want to change him, he wouldn’t feed him. He would just ignore him and let him fuss and cry until I got up and did it myself. He started using the excuse that he works 12-hour night shifts from 7-7, and he was tired and shouldn’t have to help out after work. And I know working 12-hour shifts is hard, but I feel like I am constantly putting forth way more effort for our relationship to work and giving up more of my time then I should have too. Yes, I know taking care of a baby is a lot of work, but on top of that my boyfriend expects me to pick his clothes up out of the floor and wash them and fold them and put them away, he expects me to make him breakfast, he wants me to bring him drinks and snacks and all this while taking care of the baby. If I ask him to watch the baby while I cook for him, he acts like he shouldn’t have to and gets impatient and starts hollering at the baby if he starts getting fussy. He doesn’t attempt to get up and figure out what’s wrong. I love my boyfriend to death, but he is constantly using the fact that right now, he’s the only one working against me and saying that he paid the last payment on my car and that he pays for gas and groceries, and our phones and all that. I’ve tried to go back to work now that our son is two months old, but I have no one to watch the baby while I work. My mother keeps telling me that I shouldn’t put up with the way he treats the baby and me and that I need to break up with him. And I’ve thought about it a lot, but I don’t want to leave my son in that kind of situation. I’m not sure what to do.

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Youve seen the changes. Moms know best. Things will just stay this way or get worse its up to you to make the change.

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Make a plan before expressing your want to end things.
You need a healthy relationship not a toxic one.

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Men also get post partum depression. This might be the case. He is also struggling with all the changes in his life. Sounds like you need to have a conversation with him with out being accusive. Make sure he knows that you are a team and you want him to be happy but that you are struggling handling the baby alone. This is a very hard time for both of you but I am sure you will work through it together

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He could be suffering from postpartum depression and having a hard time adjusting to having a baby

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He is extremely selfish and he is testing your limits to see how far you will allow him to treat you like a slave. The more you allow him to get away with it the less he will do. He is showing you exactly what type of person he is.

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He’s being a child. My husband does nothing but ask how he can help after work even though his job is labor intensive, makes time for our son every chance he can, and makes sure he’s telling me how great I’m doing because being a mom is hard. Either talk to him and set it straight or let him know he’s got to do his stuff himself since you’re busy with the baby.

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I have zero tolerance for that kind of stuff. Also…hollering at an infant? Not cool. NOT. COOL.
I think you know that answer here girl, you just need some validation. Split parents that are happy will always be better for a child than together parents that are miserable. Definitely leave him.

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He is a big selfish spoiled brat. Send him back to momma

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I had this happen to me and my friend who was a male said that he might be adjusting to everything and having a hard time with it. Fast forward a few months and we were both diagnosed with post partum. 7 months in, he changed back to himself and everything worked out. Take a minute and put the baby in the bassinet and talk to him, ask how he is feeling, and talk. It might make a world of difference. Best of luck.

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Sounds like he has post partum depression. Needs to seek help.

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Men do get postpartum so that could be the issue don’t just jump to conclusions without knowing exactly what he’s going through or at least have an idea.

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Mine works 7 to 7 everyday and watches our baby while i work. He helps with everything thing and i dont have to even ask. Soo i would listen to mom because you and baby deserve so much better.

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Take the kid and leave him. Tell him you need space for a while with the baby. You’ll let him know when you’re ready to talk. Take a month and bond with baby and stop worrying about the worthless bf. He will either realize he’s losing you both and fix it or just not care at all.

Well you absolutely need to tell this guy you love so much that you already have a baby and he needs to help out. You don’t need to pick up after an adult man or cook for him especially since you are new to this parenting thing and it’s really really hard. The throwing paying things in your face when he knows WHY you aren’t working isn’t working for me. I’m getting the this guy is in over his head and he wants to bail but doesn’t want to be that much of a dick so you get borderline functioning partner/adult until he nails or mans up. If he’s serious about being a family man and being what you need try talking to him, try counseling but do NOT think his behavior is ok or will change without you saying something. If he can’t see you struggle and care enough to ask how can I help or on his own try to take care of him child- he’s just not. Some guys are just like that so good luck.

He is a man and not a mother. Yes some men are paternal but not all are. Follow your gut.

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Yes men suffer from post partum also, you need to talk to him about his feelings. Women disregard their men’s feelings and get all up in their own. Talk to him about it in a mild manner, tell him it’s okay everyone goes through this. Ask him if he feels depressed, be considerate, it’s a huge change!!

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Get rid of him. It will only get worse. I know from same experience.

You love him to death huh? Someone who treats you like that you love to death? Hmmmm…your stupid if you dont leave NOW!!

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He may just be adjusting to being a new dad from whatbit sounds like; and to be the sole breadwinner can be lots of pressure on one person. I say if you both love each other that you should let him know how you feel. Relationships take work and communication to last.

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