My boyfriend put a blanket over my head knowing it would trigger me: Thoughts?

I would like to get some advice. Backstory (short version): dealt with a lot of abuse during my childhood, one such thing that happened a lot was my brothers thought it was funny to pull a sheet/blanket over my head & sit on top of me (usually happened when I was in my room, reading in my bed). This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is when you are claustrophobic & your brothers took delight in you having a legit panic attack almost every time. That being said; tonight bf held the blanket over my head, acting like he was going to put it over me, he didn’t stop until I started crying & then proceeded to get mad at me saying that I always treat him like he is other people. I feel like he shouldn’t have gotten so upset with me when he knows the story already. Thoughts?


Is he gaslighting you? Does he do stuff like that often?


Indeed he should have been empathetic. But also gauge is he empathetic other times say out of 10 how many times?
Since it’s our journey with abuse sometimes other do not understand the intensity of trigger damage. Do not be impulsive, I totally get the panic attack such incidents cause , yet see the whole scenario in totality. I do not justify his act.

Dude sounds like a terrorist. I would be angry about it too.


He’s being selfish and making it about him. He obviously does not understand trauma and how it affects us, or how it manifests later in life.

Totally not ok especially if he knows your history. Tell him to grow the fuck up and not be a asshole.

Uhm. If he knows that triggers you, whether it seems silly to someone or not…its not okay. And a real man that cared about you, would NOT have done that. That’s not okay. At all.


He shouldn’t have done that. Could he have forgot? I’m not sticking up for him but just asking. I hope you were able to find a place to relax after and get in a better headspace. I’m sorry he did that :disappointed:

the abuse will only get worse. find a different guy]


If he knows that then he is an ass for doing it!

I think you need to have a serious discussion with him and let him know how serious this is for you, and that he cannot do that.

Jerk! Narcissists behavior 4 sure
Knowing it’s a trigger
…doing it anyways till u cry then getting mad at u saying u treat him like he is other people
Then why act like u are “other people” asshole.

As someone who has been abused. One thing I have learned is some people just cannot grasp things that they have not experienced. Either way he should still be sensitive to your feelings. Has he said anything since.

have a good talk to him, if he can’t get that it really scares you and he keeps doing it, you should leave him. he’s toxic if he won’t listen and stop what frightens you

That’s a big red flag, he thinks it’s ok to tramatize you and then he plays the victim, it’s just a short jump to him abusing you. I was with a guy like that, it started just like that after 3 years it was full out abuse but it was my fault because I was suppose to know what triggers him and not do it. Get out now.

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He is a shit for being so insensitive

If he had simply forgotten this trigger and immediately apologized and tried to comfort you then I would say it was a mistake and to cut him some slack. This sounds very much intentional and you should be upset. My advice either set some serious hard limit boundaries or get out of this relationship now.

Shoulda just punched the prick in the throat :+1:

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He’s sick and abusive, need to dump

He knew exactly what he was doing, I too went through some things during my childhood and still to this day cannot handle certain rough playing ,some things trigger me and automatically make me cry and my husband is very much understanding.that man should not be making you feel like you are treating him like others, he should be supportive and not make it about him!!!you deserved love and support the most in that moment,he doesn’t deserve you !