I have not met any of my boyfriend’s close friends. I am somewhat introverted and not a big fan of meeting new people. I prefer to keep to myself. However, my bf is adamant I hang out with his friends. He typically spends the weekend with them twice a month. And l stay back and have my me-time. He constantly pressures me and guilt trip me about it, saying things like, “you’re not allowing us to grow.” Or he’ll give timelines saying I expect you to hang out with them within the next few months. I’m very thankful he wants to include me and wants me to be apart of his life in that way, but it’s never been something I want. I think it’s great he gets his separate time with them. I feel comfortable having his whole friend’s life separate and or meeting them on my own terms (without the pressure) in my own amount of time. I really am grateful he likes me enough to want me to join, but I just feel so pressured, and it makes me not want to hang out with them even more and makes me feel uncomfortable. It feels like such a huge issue now that it’s been pressed. I feel like he’s not respecting my boundaries when I say I don’t want to. No part of me wants this, I really enjoy my me-time. But I also get that it’s something he wants. I realize it’s silly, but it stresses me. I’ve tried looking at it from the opposite perspective, but I truly don’t think I’d mind if he really didn’t want to meet my friends, and I’d respect his feelings. Is there advice on how to tell him I don’t want to without coming off as rude? Or am I being silly and rude not wanting to hang with them? And should I just man up and do it to be polite?
Try it you might enjoy it…
Go once . If it’s a vibe go with him once a month if he goes twice … if not be honest
Girl you need to appreciate what he is trueing to do usually men don’t want that because they are sneaky and of course friends hold secrets but you need to take appreciation for his open mindedness and how much he is trieing to bring all the people he cares for together
I would really be thankful that he’s trying to include you. I get it’s not your thing but relationships are about compromise. I don’t like going places either but when I go I try my best to enjoy them. Especially since he loves having me there
id suggest you try before you lose him be thankful he wants to include you relationships are about sacrifices sometimes it cant be all about what u want
You can’t grow in a relationship that you don’t engage in .
I would go. It obviously means a lot that you do. It’s nice when someone you’re with invites you to meet their friends and family. It’s awful when they don’t.
I think that it’s wonderful that he wants to include you into his group of friends. It shows that he really cares. He wants the girl he cares about to meet the friends he cares about.
I think you’re being a bit rude by not even wanting to make some sort of effort to meet them.
It’s great that he wants you to meet his friends! I would step put of my comfort zone and go.
If you don’t go he will find someone else that will, and then, that will become a much bigger, unneeded conversation to have.
Go once you might make new friends
leave. your boy toy is trying to control you. If you aren’t comfortable and he’s setting “timelines” it’s time for a coming to Jesus meeting. They ain’t your thing, and they aren’t required to be your thing. You are likely not compatible
Im the same way. Hes the social butterfly and i am not. I finally gave in and 11 years later, im glad he did. He wants to include you in that part of his live. Be extremely grateful that he wants to include and hes trying.
Go, and have a couple of drinks ( if no kids ) and I bet in 20 minutes you’ll be enjoying yourself.
Nah, contrary to what the majority thinks, I feel he is not respecting who you are. I do believe you need to meet his people, if you want a long term relationship with this man but on your terms. Many people don’t understand introverts. You may even discover you two aren’t compatible, especially if there is no mutual respect for your personality types. Sounds like it’s already on that path. I don’t know how long you’ve been with him. It’s no ones fault, just seems like compatibility is the issue here.
Just give it a chance
I think relationships need to have compromises. So if I were you, I would go with him once. Explain to him you will give it one shot. And if you don’t like it, you won’t tolerate being asked again. If you genuinely go in with good spirits and don’t like it, that’s that. Relationships are give and take and stepping outside your comfort zone. I’m more like you with new people but I tend to end up really enjoy myself being around others for a bit every once in a while.
Maybe plan a dinner date at a restaurant with one of his friends and significant other to break the ice. That way you can part ways once dinner is over whenever you are ready to leave.
I totally understand.
Maybe meeting one friend at a time in a place where its easy to have otber distractions away from the conversations so you aren’t feeling as anxious about what I like to call my social “performance anxiety” lol.
I dont meet others because I dont want to. I just have serious social phobia and anxieties that make it extremely difficult.