Hey mamas. I’m looking for new mommy advice. I’m an FTM to a two mo. My bf is 22, and I’m 20. My birth was traumatic (emergency c section) etc. etc. While I was recovering, my bf was very helpful/encouraging. Now he flipped. He always points out my flaws with everything I do when it comes to our child. He complains about everything I do, and I don’t do anything right. I’m a SAHM and do college online while he works. I’m lonely and rarely see friends. He says he can’t help during the night because he works ok, fine. But he barely helps out at all! For example, we’re about to eat dinner, and I have to feed the baby first. I’ll ask him to feed the baby, and he says, “no, I have to eat too.” Mamas, how can I make this better? We’re both first time parents. It’s starting to really get to me. I don’t even know when he told me I’m doing a good job. Thanks for listening to my rant. Any advice/stories are greatly appreciated.
Communication is key. It starts there.
Communication and teamwork. He works away from the home, you take care of your child all day. When he gets home you two should be a team! It’s still early and you guys need to get on the same page fast!
Ma’am you don’t vneed his crap leave
Doesn’t matter if he works, he’s not exempt from helping with his child. Talk to him and explain how you feel. Teamwork helps.
I felt the same with my hubby when I had my daughter. I was exhausted and at my breaking point and he would plop ass in the recliner. I finally just exploded and said " I need your help"…he ended up helping out alot and is an amazing involved dad to our daughter. Just communicate and I think it will get better💗
Develop a daily routine and schedule that works for both of you with clearly outlined expectations you each need to meet for the day.
Throw the whole man out. You cant make him grow up and take accountability. Making your choice to take care of you and your baby with out hin dragging you down would be YOUR BEST OPTION!
You can talk for the rest to of your life nothing is going to happen to if he’s not coming going to do anything talk can is Cheap
Hand him the baby and go lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bath. He’s a parent too. When he’s home, childcare should be 50/50.
Get on the same page and quick or you will never be any better! It’s his child too, remind him of that and it does not all fall on momma. If he grew up in that environment good luck converting him. Stand your ground!
Hand him that baby while you go do what you need to do…I don’t know why women seem to think they have to ask the father of THIER child for help…they are just as responsible for that child as much as the mother. I’m not judging… I’m just saying to not let him get away with stupid excuses. He needs to grow up!
give him the baby and say feed it-it is your child just as it is mine-if he don’t help-tell him you going to give it away to someone that wants it-can’t raise child by yourself
Your doing a wonderful job don’t let him tell you any different. Sometimes they can only see how much you do how hard it is how stressful but also how wonderful until they are put in the position where they need to do it for themselves sometimes it only takes a couple hours. I would try to talk to him about things tell him how under appreciated you feel, stressed & how you would really like some help. But be very careful about how you say how your feeling try to steer clear from saying how little he does because he will feel like your saying he is a bad dad or that you are blaming him, make sure you use a lot of I terms instead of you’d for example I am feeling really overwhelmed and would really love a little bit of down time to myself. Instead of you need to help out more you don’t do anything to help with baby even if it’s true. Because even if you could get him to watch little one for two hours it would help open his eyes to all that you do. Good luck don’t be down on yourself it all g,ets very stressful!
I would start by having a talk with him and asking him what he thinks the role of a father is? Parenting is the responsibility of both parents. Does he not think taking care of a baby all day is “work?” He should be picking up the slack on other household duties as well. If he doesn’t want to feed the baby, he should be cooking dinner. He is a grown man, he can feed himself then.
Well tolk 2 him
Ask him tell him your needs also u both have to work together in order for u both 2 be happy
I’m a 21 ye old sahm and my boyfriend is 23 and leaves for work at 7:30 and doesn’t come home until 6:30 and he does absolutely everything with our little one from the second he wakes up to the second he leaves and same with when he comes home until we go to sleep. Being a stay at home mom IS work in itself. You either need to sit him down and tell him things need to change or I would leave.
Dont serve dinner until baby is fed. He can make his own meals
Communication…work or not its his kid he can help. But you cant force someone to be a parent when they dont want to be.
Get a job outside the home. It sounds like he may be bitter about you staying at home. Talk about it with him. Ask him honestly if he’s bitter you stay at home?