My boyfriend's ex sent him a picture in her underwear: Advice?

Hey, I’m not a mother, I’ve worked with kids for ten years, and I’m in a serious relationship with someone who has a four-year-old. The baby momma in the situation is ehhh unreliable, has never liked me, and even made the kid not like me.most the time she doesn’t pick up or is late, doesn’t take him to school. There is a list. She is currently dating this guy and is now asking like the perfect mom. We love this guy in her life; she picks up every week and has actually been consistent. SHE HAS HUGE boundary issues and recently sent my bf a picture of her in her underwear, he told me not to say anything bc he didn’t want to start drama or hurt the relationship his son has with this guy ( cause it makes his mom relationship amazing ) What do I do

36 Likes

I’d just leave it alone . Tough spot

2 Likes

Bring it up to HER when no one else is around. I’m curious to know if he responded to her pic or what was said and done on his part after that. Maybe he is the one hiding something

10 Likes

Your boy needs to address with her that he doesnt want those types of pictures as its inappropriate for BOTH relationships.

33 Likes

I’ve learned that you have to establish boundaries as the issues arise. If you don’t establish them now and keep your mouth shut, you are just giving her room to continue the behavior and it will get worse. We have boundary issues with my husbands ex and are now in court trying to establish legal boundaries, ie protective orders, as she has been stepping over the lines since day one and nothing has worked.

4 Likes

maybe she sent it to the wrong person. and meant to send it to her boyfriend

5 Likes

What I think you should do is, stop asking Facebook! Especially since you’ve already had the conversation with your significant other. This implies you’re not going to do as he asked, which is up to you, and if that’s the case then you need to continue your convo with him not strangers on a social media site.

4 Likes

Your boyfriend needs to have a talk with her about what is and isn’t appropriate and set up boundaries

10 Likes

You both need to be united when you approach her to say that’s not appropriate. Shouldn’t be up to you, or him solely.

4 Likes

Your partner needs to tell her off when no one else is around and let her know that he is in a relationship and doesn’t want to be sent any photos like that.

2 Likes

He said don’t say anything Bc more than likely he asked for the photo && is still messing with her :woman_shrugging:t4:

Get out while you can

21 Likes

Send her one back of yourself!! Sitting on his lap :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

12 Likes

There needs to be boundaries

1 Like

Let it go. He told you about it. Respect his wishes. If it happens again, he needs to address it with her. That way youre not the bad guy and hes makes it clear hes not interested in her.

8 Likes

I think the important thing is how did he react? Is he setting clear boundaries?

HE needs to set boundaries with her! Unacceptable on every level. and until HE makes those boundaries she wont stop. Doesnt matter what YOU say to her, it needs to come from HIM!

3 Likes

You confront her and her only about the photo in a way that she will get the point but can’t manipulate the situation back onto you. She probably did it on purpose to try and stir up things in your relationship. You probably should have him talk with her as well after you express to him how you feel about what she did.

Dont feed into her drama. She wants to be the victim. Don’t give her the satisfaction of catching you on a hook with no real resolution in the end. Just ignore it and hope that one day she stops acting like a middle schooler.

3 Likes

Hell, I’d beat her ass just for the fun of it :woman_shrugging: but maybe that’s just me

For now i d try to ignore it it may be a last ditch try to get him back but if you make a big deal of it. Shell get a reaction she wants. I did this but ended up divorcing mine