My boyfriends family demands to see my child instead of asking: Advice?

My son’s grandparents on his dad’s side have been trying to control when they see my son. My boyfriend/sons father died a month ago, and ever since, his grandparents have been telling me, “when are you bringing the baby by today” or “we get next weekend with the baby,” and even “tell me what time I can come to see the baby” they don’t ask they demand. It makes me upset because they were never like this when his dad was alive. They saw my son when it was convenient for me. I have told them that I’m nervous with Covid because I’m seven months pregnant. (They have gotten Covid 2 times. The entire house. Which includes grandma and grandpa, their three daughters, their son, and his daughter, and their aunt) they don’t want social distance, and I ask them to wear a mask around my son, and they and I don’t listen. They say, “it’s not a real thing calm down” is it bad I don’t want my son around them? I don’t want to take him away from them, but they don’t respect my Time or wishes. They demand to see him but don’t ask what my plans are. I tell them they are more than welcome to FaceTime him anytime but they don’t. I don’t think I’m in the wrong because end of the day, it’s MY child, and I need to do what’s best for us grandparents should be grateful for whatever Time they do get with their grandchildren, not just treat seeing him like a custody agreement.

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You’re not wrong. You are the mom. You set the rules. If you say no, then that’s it

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I’m torn on how i feel. About the second half but the first half is weird. They need to run it by you. Not demand. But they also are mourning and they may feel being around the grandson is healing for them :heart: you clearly need to sit down and talk to them and everyone find a happy medium.

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With it being so recent that your boyfriend has died, do you not think that this is part of their grieving and trying to spend as much time with your son as they can? Surely you all need to pull together in this sad time

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Not sure what state ur in but in my state grandparents have no rights. Truthfully unless they fight for visitation righta there honestly ia nothing they can say or do.
Right now they are grieving and just wanna see the only piece of their son thats left and that ur child.
Set your rules and stick to them. If they cant listen thats their problem

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Sounds like you need to lay some ground rules down and if they can’t abide by them then they don’t get to see your kid. You do what’s best for you and your kid.

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Your child your rules. If they can’t respect that they can’t see him. You need to put your foot down. Ignore what ever crap they give you. They may be his grandparents but you are the mother and are under NO obligation to bow to their demands. You need to remind them who’s in charge in this situation.

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Your healthy and the health of your children are your priority, not their wants.

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It’s your child not theirs you decide

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Ur children ur choice but they should understand grandparents has no rights

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I understand that this must be difficult on you but think about why they be be acting that way :disappointed_relieved: maybe just give them a while to cope better. Do so by saying things like “I am sorry but baby and I are busy at that time, maybe next week at this time” etc.

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They’re probably grieving, but that isn’t a valid excuse. Put your foot down when you feel like you have to. You’re the mom. Also, it would make me super uncomfortable for somebody who doesn’t believe in covid to have my kid. They could potentially get your son sick with that sort of mindset. Hopefully your state has no “grandparent’s rights” laws.

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Honestly you owe no one anything. They will have to endure and get through their own grief without overstepping your boundaries. That’s exactly how I would state it to them.
Simply tell them your boundaries and if they want to continue to be involved in the child’s life at all then learn to respect others boundaries.
I have no issue cutting anyone off who don’t respect my wishes with MY CHILDREN!!

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Frankly you need to put yourself in their shoes, if your son died laving behind a child you would want to be close to that child. They are grieving, they never thought their son would die that being said you need to tell them how you are feeling and either put your foot down or come up with a compromise. COVID is not going to go away ever, so if you wait for COVID to go away for him to see his grandparents he will never see them again. Look into natural immune system building blocks like vitamin C, vitamin D3 (the best form of D) and zinc. I do wish the age of the child was listed, are we talking about a 2 year old or a 15 year old, are they old enough to say how they feel.

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I just want to say how sorry I am for this difficult time you are going through. You will make the right decision for your situation.

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Your the mom. You make the rules.

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Talk to them about the issue. Maybe the emptiness is filled when they’re with you and your son. Or maybe that is their way of expressing how they want yall close. Dont know the entire story but the only way to correct their verbal expressions is to hold a conversation about how you feel.

If they want to see your child then you tell them to come see you with a mask otherwise they can kick rocks. its truly that simple. You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go and no one can force you. Tell them the only way they will see your child is if they follow your rules all the way and they come to you if they want to see him.

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They are grieving and trying to control the situation, but be firm… don’t risk your health or the health of your children because of how they are processing the death. Maybe when they say ‘when do I get to see him today?’ You can just respond with ‘we can FaceTime at xyz’. Start controlling the situation yourself without trying to ask for their permission. It’s up to you to protect your family and assert your boundaries.

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Bitch their son / grandson died and that baby is what they have left. You’re ignorant