My boyfriends family demands to see my child instead of asking: Advice?

Stand your ground and tell them how you feel! Like you said it’s your child not theirs. If you don’t set boundaries they will continue to disrespect you. Be honest and don’t feel guilty about it. You’re the parent they need to respect you.

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They’re grieving. they want a connection with probably the only piece of their son they have left. I’m not saying let them walk all over you, I’m just saying keep that in mind. Set some boundaries but don’t keep the child from them. It’s completely acceptable for you to say hey I’m busy or I have plans, X day or whenever is going to work better for us, stick to it. You don’t have to be rude, sounds like they wanna see the baby enough that maybe they’ll follow those rules, they probably don’t understand your current feelings because… You know, their son just died… They’re not seeing clearly. Be nice be strong and good luck
Edit to add as far as the covid part goes be stern on that for sure, it doesn’t matter what they think if it’s real or not, you know it is they should respect you*

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Just be straight up with them, work out when is good for you, and send it to them, and be open for them to see baby at other times that suit you both, they are going to be in babies life forever, so its best to keep the peace and work with them, I understand your worry, and its valid, you need to explain this to them in a kind way, not tell them they’re not seeing their grandchild, if they refuse, then they will have themselves to blame for not seeing their grandchild.

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It sounds like they are trying to hold onto what family they have left. Maybe that’s their way of coping with loosing him. That being said, it’s still your child, your rules. They need to respect that

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You are the mother you set the rules. Do they live nearby? If they are very controlling & will continue stressing you out maybe you can consider moving if that’s an option. Don’t feel guilty. With or without COVID, no one can dictate you when it comes to your child.

Tell them you love them and want nothing more to accommodate them but your OB/GYN has given you protocols to maintain a healthy pregnancy and you are going to abide by a professional’s advice for your health and the safety of your family. There is no discussion. It is set in stone. Write it in a loving note as well, reinforce how much you love them and sent a gift from your toddler (hand made). Tell them this is difficult on you too, express how much you want them in your lives and start calling them at certain times/ days of the week to face time.

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Tell them with covid they can’t see him since they don’t take it seriously. They can FaceTime him when it’s convenient for you. If they don’t like that then oh well :woman_shrugging:t2: I get that their son just died but this child is YOURS so it’s your job to protect him.

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They certainly don’t have the right to endanger a family with their careless ways, and demands during a pandemic anyway!

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Wow some of these comments simmer down drama queens :crown::joy: It has been ONE month FOUR weeks since their son DIED he’s dead he’s not coming back y’all they will never hug touch or speak to their kid again in this life. It’s still FRESH. Give them a break their over attentiveness will die down. You can address the COVID issue in other ways. :broken_heart::broken_heart:

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They probably feel closer to your sons father by seeing his son.
But no, put your foot down. Your babies mom.
Tell them point blank- as long as you ignore covid precautions my son will not be visiting. And I have a schedule, here is what I have avail- take it or leave it.
If They wanna fight or be jerks pay it no mind. Let them know you dont have time to hear there demands of your life right now but if they’d like to your son offer so n so time and go from there.

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I wud just be explaining u have had covid 2 I dont want to risk it.

Maybe just the grandparents cud come round to urs whilst u do some jobs.

Also I wud tell them to stop demanding when u want to see him. I will let u know when I’m free

Nope. Your baby = your rules.
Flat out explain that they need to ask not tell you. You’re grieving as well.

As for the covid portion of it. Tell them ABSOLUTELY NOT. Especially because its gone like wild fire in their house . stand your ground for your child’s health and wellbeing

Keep them the fuck away from your child at all cost. Fuck that

As someone who experienced the same thing, wait a little bit and have a talk with them about when they’re going to be spending time with your child. My kids
Grandparents did the same thing and pretty much said that if they can’t have whatever time they want when they want it they will have nothing to do with the kids. It’s their loss. My children are fine. They have fried a few times but they understand that it’s not their fault. We also have grandparents rights after a parents death in my state and they haven’t instated those at all either. They know where we live, our phone numbers and where the courthouse is. We tried the nice way and got the middle finger. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this in losing your boyfriend and your child’s father.

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You dont have to always accomodate them, but in many states, grandparents can sue for visitation rights in this situation. Maybe try to set some boundaries while trying to be diplomatic? That way, it probably wont progress to legalities. Im sure they are panicking about staying in the grandchilds life, as well as suffering the loss of their child. It doesnt give them the right to boss you around; but from their attitudes and what you are saying, I bet they’ve already talked to someone about their rights. God bless!

The whole COVID part of the situation is what gets me. They obviously don’t care about giving you COVID while you’re pregnant. I would set a time they could come or meet somewhere WITH a mask at your convenience otherwise they can Facetime.

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Every time they don’t ask just tell them “ sorry I gave plans.” Don’t explain you don’t have to…
Send them all a message saying although there are many opinions and beliefs about
under medical and scientific advice you will not be ALLOWING anyone near you or or children unless
masked until further notice!
Don’t worry about grandparents rights at best they will get 6 suprvised visits a year because of unsafe covid practices.
Here’s some short term replies to get a break
Not today sorry too much to do
Not today sorry I m not feeling well
Not today sorry no money or fuel
Not today sorry my son is having a bad day
Not today sorry i have a headache you can face time
Not today sorry I am not feeling up to it need to rest
Sorry my doctor has told me to isolate! You can visit us electronically

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YOU are in charge. You set the visitation schedule.

Don’t answer their calls. Tell them you are concerned about COVID and as such you and your child will not be visiting.

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Fuck that cut the fuckers off ! If they can’t understand how serious COVID is then they don’t deserve to order u around . Send pics instead or FaceTime , some delusional people.