My boyfriends kids want to call me mom, it gave me anxiety: Advice?

I need advice ladies, I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now, everything is going well. He lost his fiance some time ago and we blended our families, our kids love each other, I love his kids as my own n he loves mine. Few weeks back my son asked to call him daddy, he agreed. Yesterday his daughter asked me if she can call me mom, I was happy and surprised, I agreed but few hours later I had an anxiety, I started asking myself what if I fail them, what if I’m not good enough to be their mom, I’m scared, I’m freaking out. How do I handle this, I love them so much and I’m very happy they see as their mom on their own, because my boyfriend and I never said anything about it. We only introduced each other to our kids as uncle and aunt. The anxiety is killing me, how do I take up on this task, I knew from the beginning I have to be there for them as their mother but now it so real

45 Likes

No no no let them call you by your name and just be a good influence in their life if you stick around

2 Likes

Stop doubting yourself you will rock this😍

3 Likes

That’s just being a mom :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: we all have anxiety about being good enough for our babies. I’m sure you experienced it with your own. It’s just new and the anxiety will come and go as they grow. Congratulations

3 Likes

Just love them and be their mom

6 Likes

I read this and it seems to me more five months is not long once a mom always a mom I raised two others with mine but was with the person longer than five months anxiety is very familiar in our household I think you anxiety is over more than the word mom

The fact you are anxious and scared to death you might fail says it all…the title is well deserved. Kids have a good radar for people; they knew you would love them and embody all that the title Mom requires.

6 Likes

Soooo what the difference you were there before … be there now just the same stop stressing breathe . You will be fine

2 Likes

I think you should let them call you whatever they please but also you should try and sit down and have a conversation with them. Let them know by no means are you trying to take their mommy place now that’s she’s in heaven but let them know you will be there for them and love them just like their mommy would.

2 Likes

5 months much to soon for children to understand

4 Likes

Suggest they call. you Nikie-Mom.

Just love them. That’s all that matters.

3 Likes

The fact that you have all these questions already means your a good mom. Those kids love you just embrace it!

3 Likes

You’re worried about failing them and that says a lot about you, if they are old enough have a serious conversation with them if not then just let it be a natural thing in your lives and who knows maybe you will be there for them through their lives and be that one person you needed when you were younger.

2 Likes

Only five months I’d be nervous as well. I’d make sure this was absolutely going somewhere before getting THAT deeply involved. Then again, you’re a mom
And should be honored they want you as theirs too

5 Likes

If she ask to call u mom ur already doing a great job relaxs ur doing great mama

1 Like

If she wants to call U mom, let her. Don’t be worried about what U think. If U are good enough for your son, probably U are good for her. Relaxxxxxxxx U got this!

Have faith in urself and urfamily u got this there will b hard times but they t so worth it in the long run

2 Likes

I remember being 17 and my fiance called me ‘mommy’ the night our son was born. I had anxiety too, knowing I now have to keep this tiny human alive.
You’re getting married right? You already signed up for this. Breathe mommy, one day at a time.

First, as a mom of five (two step, three birth), ALL MOMS FAIL. It’s just part of being mom. Second, if they’re old enough to want to assign labels, take it as a two-thumbs-up on your relationship thus far and their decision to trust that it’s working well enough for them to invest in. Don’t change, don’t become someone you THINK the kids want, just be the person she chose to call ‘Mom’.

5 Likes