My boyfriends son has been acting out: Thoughts?

Moms, please help, my boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and we both have one child from a previous relationship. They both got along great! Fought like siblings but nonetheless loved each other. Fast forward to us living together, and his child’s behavior has worsened. He pees in the tub and around the toilet (he’s old enough to know better) Smeared poop all over the toilet seat. Lies about this and blames the youngest. He’s done a few things to get the youngest in trouble purposely. He’s getting loud and just plain wild. Gets rough with the cat At first I thought it was about him wanting attention from his father or myself and we give him lots of one on one time, but it doesn’t help. I thought it could be ADHD, but dad refuses to consider the idea. It’s affecting my relationship because we can’t seem to agree on parenting him. I adore his dad, but it’s getting difficult to want to be around, especially when I feel like his son hates mine. What can I do??

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Maybe family counseling

Try talking to the son acting up and see if he’s going through some thing or emotion(s) he doesn’t know how to express.

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throw the whole kid away🤷🏻‍♀️

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My son did stuff like this, but he has autism and severe intellectual disability. I’ve never seen or heard of a NT child smearing his feces like this passed the potty training stage. Toddler, can be normal, 5 year old, not normal.

How old is the child? If he’s 5+ he needs to be assessed, where as if he’s 2-3, this could still be normal.

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What concerns me is being abusive or rough will the cat. That’s early stage sociopathic behavior and it wont be long before he hurts your child. He needs to be assessed by a mental health professional.

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If the child did not do this before you moved in then this is clearly a kid that is jealous and wants Dad all to themself and kid needs dealt with before he actually hurts your child. If the child did this prior then id be asking wth is wrong with dad for not getting this kid some help. You have to decide after that whats in the best interest for your child and yourself. Never pick a man over your child!

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Dad needs to STEP up his parenting, if the child does have an issue that needs medical intervention its DAD’S RESPONSIBILITY to address it, if he is turning a blind eye and EXPECTING you to just DEAL than it’s your responsibility to give Dad a REALITY check!

The fact is, ADHD may be hard for his dad to accept but if he has ADHD or some other underlying condition then everyone deserves to know so the child can receive the help he needs and if his father won’t get help for his son then you probably need to leave the relationship because it’s just going to get worse and your resentment will build.

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Maybe the adjustment is affecting him and it still could possibly be the attention thing. If him and his father have been on their own awhile he could have feelings of feeling like your trying to replace him or take his spot. And be resentful with the other child bc of tht. I went thru this year’s ago and thts what I figured out after talking it out and the longer we were tog the better it got. He seen i wasnt going anywhere and i wasnt taking his dad away. Just a thought❤

Is is possible he has been/is being sexually abused? Smearing feces and such can be a sign of abuse. Same with being rough with animals, especially if these are new behaviors for him. Good luck.

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I can’t figure out why you subject your own child to this for a bf? Who is more important? RUN!!!

Most of that is normal but the harming the cat is a sign he needs therapy, now.
Kids can be rough with pets until they learn but it appears he should know better. If the cat flips out and attacks him, it’ll be his fault.
You have choices, ask your bf for therapy as a family and talk to them abt your concerns and how to help make the situation better. Or, leave.
If this child is already injuring animals, what happens if it’s your child next?
You may love your bf but if he’s not willing to address the issues now, if/when they get worse, can you count on him then?
All this said, is your “stepson” with you all the time? Does he visit his mom? His behvaior could have to do with issues he witnessed or had happen while with her.
So, my original advise, THERAPY or honey, you have to move out.

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Your son counts on him for protection. Your love life should not be your first priority. There are other guys, just as nice, who will step up to your child without all the drama.

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its alway “his kid messes w mine” ive never seen "what can i do my kid is intolerable he/she is acting out, beats up his/her sibling? its always typical bad stepmother crap. before ur bad mouthing someone elses child why don’t u see maybe u or ur child is causing his child to act this way, bcz its all flowers bfore u move in together but as soon as u do it becomes who has more power over who…its sick

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Like how she quotes she adores the Dad…:thinking: hmm what about the child…

A great start would be counseling

Whether or not you give him lots of attention, he could still be acting out cause he’s jealous

I think the question is, what can his dad do??

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Get family counseling