My boys got yelled at for not including a neighbors daughter in basketball: Advice?

My sons, (13, 11, 9 and 6) were playing basketball in the street. (I was watching) and a little girl, maybe 4 came up and tried to play with them…but they asked her nicely to move because they didn’t want to hurt her. She started crying, ran inside to get her parents and the mom came out and started yelling at my sons. Saying it was rude to tell her she couldn’t play with them and they should be kind to people. I am not one of those parents who assume my kids are always angels but at the same time I feel like she had no right to come at my kids like that and she wasn’t even outside watching her child. Who in my opinion, shouldn’t have been outside alone anyways, let alone in the street. My boys are also big and I didn’t want this little girl to get hurt. Were my kids in the wrong? How should this have been handled?

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The mom should have been understanding and told her 4yo that she is too young to play. Your sons aren’t her sons and your sons don’t have to play with a 4yo girl if they don’t want to. I would talk to the mom and tell her that she better not try to parent my kids again.

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No, you are right, she could’ve gotten hurt. Your boys didn’t do anything wrong.

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The other mother was in the wrong, because her daughter was to get hurt, she would blame your kids.

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Knock on her door, and tell her what you just said here. You, are correct.

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In no uncertain terms tell her that her child is not allowed unsupervised on your property. Next thing you know she will be saying your boys did something to her daughter.

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We have a whole lot of kids here in our dead end block and wen something like this happens even if we don’t talk much as neighbors but our kids do i still go out side and try to see what’s going on and in this occasion I would of wen over and talked to the mom and make her understand that is not safe for a little girl her age to be playing with the big kids and then getting hurt :speaking_head::woman_shrugging:I’m not going to be the cause or my kids for her to get injured

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The lady was probably watching from the door/window. I’d think it would be neighbourly to let her play. Or even get another ball for her to kick about. I would speak to the mother and get her side on the situation before assuming it was an attack on your kids

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You are in the right.

She was ALL the way wrong.
Now, if it was a public basketball court she might have a leg to stand on but still… your kids are not babysitting her 4 year old who could not possibly participate in the game.
Also, it is absolutely appropriate teach your kids it is OK to respectfully and kindly say NO. Teach your kids to set boundaries while they’re young.

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She should be watching her 4 year old. I hope she finds kids closer to her age.

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Yeah I’m keeping my 4 year old away from bigger kids activities

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Let her know that will be the last time she yells at your kids :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Other mother was wrong

Not only are you right, but so were your kids :woman_shrugging: they were looking out.

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With that being said with the age of the boys and yes them being boys I think the mother was wrong in assuming her daughter should be allowed to play I mean if her daughter got hurt then the mother could blame you

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It should’ve been addressed on the spot so that she wouldn’t do that to your kids again. Had they let her play and hurt her, then the problem would’ve been worse.

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Girl I would off gone off on this person… you should never let anyone attack your kids even if their wrong… never feel bad for defending your children… and specifically if you saying they were nice and ask her to move to make sure she didn’t get hurt…

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While it’s nice to be included, there will be times in life when you won’t be and this mum should have taken this as an opportunity to teach her child how to handle that. She was the one in the wrong for speaking to your sons like that.

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No child, of any gender, at the age of 4, should be allowed to play in the street. I would almost wager that the Mom sent the little girl out to “play” with the other kids. I know when mine was little they always whined to go out with the others. At times it was tempting. It was not your boys “responsibility” to watch over her. Talk with her. Let her know that if her child wants to play out with the others then she needs to be out there with her. Your boys were in the right. As long as they were polite, no worries.

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I wish tf someone else would yell at my kids. :woozy_face:
She needs to keep an eye on her toddler. No way should she be playing in the street anyways.

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It’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone politely you don’t want to play with them. Kids shouldn’t be forced to play with others if they don’t want to whether they are much older as in this case or just want to play alone. Sure it’s nice to include others, but it’s also important to be able to respectfully tell someone “no” at times too.

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Your kids aren’t in the wrong who let’s a 4 year old out by themselves? Basketball can get rough when you would’ve been dealing with if she got hurt. I would tell her not to address your children anymore.

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It’s not your children’s job to babysit a 4 year old. I’d talk to her mom and tell her you’re not okay with her yelling at your kids. it’s not their job to play with her. she’s 4, it would be a little different if she were around their age.

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No they were right but maybe they could’ve told they would play with her when the game was done and don’t ever let someone yell at your kids that’s your job not hers

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You not really asking was it okay to yell at your boys right? Because that’s a definite no but they didn’t have to play with her. The mom should of played with her

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Just ignore her. She should not have let her 4 year old out on the street unsupervised.

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4 y/o’s are supposed to be outside alone. Your kids aren’t free babysitters

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That mother is in the wrong… had to no right to yell at your boys! And she shouldn’t be allowing her 4 year old outside in the streets alone.

First of all No you and your boys are right and they are all kinds of wrong for 1 letting their 4 yr old outside alone unattended and 2 for thinking its ok to go off on someone elses children. I would flip if my neighbors talked to my kids like that

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They are allowed to say no to her. That mother needs to be yelled at.

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They didn’t refuse her to play and they were kind by asking her to move so they didn’t get hurt! The girls mum should’ve been outside with her as she is too young to be out and approaching older kids at that age. Out on the street, anything could’ve happened to her and would that mum blame the other kids for that? For not watching her and keeping her safe? Kids shouldn’t be redo for other kids especially when they are strangers kids!

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Your boys are lovely for thinking of the little girl. Well done boys. The neighbour is in the wrong.

First of all, if somebody came up to my kids and yelled at them… she definitely would’ve heard from me. :face_with_raised_eyebrow: Secondly, why is she not watching her child? :roll_eyes: Your boys are clearly older and enjoying time with each other. They did nothing wrong for not wanting to include a little 4 year old girl. The mom would’ve been even more mad if your boys included her and she ended up hurt, so your boys did the right thing.

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Hell no! A FOUR year old shouldn’t be outside of the house without a parent. I would DEFINITELY be letting her know that was the first and last time she’d be yelling at my children. Perhaps she should heed her own advice and maybe start by “being nice” to children. Your sons are not her personal babysitter. MISS ME WITH THAT!

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For one she shouldn’t have been alone and two she shouldn’t assume her daughter could play anyway. Too many ignorant entitled people.

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Lawd, I don’t have the patience or the tolerance. I’d show up at her door with all the audacity she had the nerve to have.

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She was totally wrong!

Nope her ass was wrong. I’d have screamed out, Her child being 4 shouldn’t be on the streets alone. #STUPIDMF tell her get a grip and come out to watch her kid. This ain’t child care watch TF!

Definitely she was in the wrong. Your kids are not responsible for her child, who should not be out on her own. They did the right thing in wanting to make sure she didn’t get hurt especially since I am sure that mom would blame them if something happened. It is absolutely okay to say no to something. I find far too often there are people who use the expectation to be kind to inappropriately, when there’s is a valid reason not to do something.

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I would have told her next time she has a problem she needs to address it to me, as I’m their mother. And they don’t have to play with a child they choose not too. Technically it’s still a pandemic​:woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging::rofl::rofl: but for real though she would have hollered at them and i would have hollered at her!

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No, She was wrong. Your boys Can chooses who They want to play with. Even a four Year old has to learn Sometimes They cant play with others.

I mean u should have been ur kids advocate and stood up for them and not allowed her to yell at ur kids while u just watched :woman_shrugging:

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So much wrong here! 1. A four yr old shouldnt be alone. (I would run out apologizing profusely if my daughter somehow escaped and got in the middle of an older kids game…2. We are still in a pandemic. Not everyone is comfortable playing a contact sport with neighbors. My kids wear masks if they play outdoors with anyone other than a sibling… 3. It is your property and no one comes on without permission. If a four yr old is on your property, you are now responsible for her.

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First off the minute I would seen her go over to my kids. My butt would have been out the door. No adult should address a child unless they are in immediate danger. Yes I know it takes a village. I watched to many parents get involved ( wrestling football) where they should have been an adult and took it up with the other parent.

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I mean if she would have been 10 or 11 then I would have asked that they let her play but 4 absolutely not your kids did the right thing. If they would have fallen on her or hit her they could have seriously hurt her. Sounds like they have more common sense then the lil girls mom poor kid!! Kids are allowed to say no to other kids and some parents can’t handle that unfortunately. She’s sounds like one of those mom’s that thinks her kid can do whatever she wants regardless of where she is.

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Maybe she just needed a break from her kid and hoped they would let her play for a min. Then got frustrated when they didn’t.
Yes she was wrong. But don’t do anything about it… It’s not that big a deal.

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I would never yell at someones kids. That being said, i do have a four year old myself and he would probably want to have played with your boys too. I maybe would have asked your boys myself if they would let him play and teach him with the understanding that if my kid gets hurt that’s just what happens :woman_shrugging:t3: but im also super chill. My son rides dirtbikes and shoots guns and stuff so idk

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Oh no f that. She’d of gotten a mouth full. Don’t be yelling at my kids for being nice and watching out for your four year old who shouldn’t be in the street alone from the start. Yell at her to watch her kid. Smh.

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If anybody yells at my kids, it’s all going down. Yes, I am that mom. Next, who sends their four-year-old out to play with a group of big kids? I understand the concept of inclusion, but the boys are on a whole other level than her. I’d let her know my children aren’t responsible for watching her child and that she needs to use some of her time to play with her child, instead of just sending her outside without supervision.

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The boys did the correct thing by not letting the little get hurt if that mom yelled over that she would of probably tired to sue u if they let her play and she got hurt so I would keep my boys away from them people

No you’re not wrong, she is. She should also be watching her kid and personally I wouldn’t let another parent scream at my child in front of me either.

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Hell no your boys weren’t in the wrong… they were trying to play some ball and you can’t do that with a 4yo little girl. She would have been in their way and as you said, would end up getting hurt. To top it all off, if your boys were playing an actual game they had even teams and she would mess that up. your boys were 100% in the right. And that rude woman is 100% in the wrong and seems like she is raising and entitled little brat🤷🏻‍♂️

She would be all fine and good though if her little one got hurt in the process. She should nit have approached the kids. I woulda gone give her a piece a my mind…

:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes: Given the girl’s age… she wouldn’t have even been able to keep up with your boys whatsoever anyways. Who is mom kidding? This isn’t a free babysitting service. Watch your own damn kid! I stand behind my kids not wanting to play with others. Why? Because some kids are just as entitled as their entitled parents. Kids don’t have to include her if she isn’t on the same level they play on. Tell that mom to go kick rocks. You can bet your ass if she’d have yelled at my kids, I’d have said she’d quit anyways because she can’t play the same as they can because they are 2-3 times her age AND size! That’s like putting a mouse in with giraffes and expecting them to play together perfectly without getting stepped on. She’s an idiot. :joy::joy::joy::joy:

She wouldn’t have made it to my kids before I interfered… Karen needs to watch her own kid and teach her spoiled brat that she doesn’t always get her way :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Girl stand up for your kids! Go knock on her door and tell her she better not ever raise her voice to them again and to watch her own damn child.

I can see both sides. No she shouldn’t have yelled at your kids. You should have stepped in. Also what would it have hurt to let the girl shoot a few baskets? It would have made her feel special and the boys would be heroes in her eyes. Maybe just letting her shoot a few would have been enough.

Life’s not fair and you won’t always be included. 🤷 That child will have a ride awakening one day just like the mom did when she realized she has to watch her own kid. :laughing:

You should have stood up for kids!!!

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Not wrong, end of story. If her daughter got hurt she would be crying that they were too rough with her.

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U should have told her to shut her face and keep her brat inside

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No, your boys did nothing wrong. That lady CLEARLY for one wasn’t even watching a very young little girl, and for two spoils said little girl.

Nope I would of snapped and said honey come do your job and get your kid!

Your kids were not wrong. If it had been me I would have confronted the mom and told her exactly what you said here. Then tell her in the future if you have issue with my kids come to me. Not your job to discipline my child. Simple as that.

Nope u weren’t wrong nd what is wrong is that little girl being in the street trying to play w boys nd her momma is nowhere to be found. That sjit boils my blood bc anything can happen to the little girl and it would kinda be on you since u was outside. Next time I see the kid I’d bring it right to where it belongs or go inside myself w my kids. These days getting blamed for other people’s mistakes is too common. Protect your boys nd protect urself mama

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Your kids aren’t her babysitter, I understand if it may have been cute for a little bit, but how long would she have been out there with them? I’d tell her next time she should be more worried about her four year old on the street without supervision :upside_down_face: your boys deserve to have playtime and they weren’t rude about it, that is too many older kids for any little one to be just stepping into.

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Nope your boys 1. Were playing an all boy game (no girls as it was all boys). 2. Basketball that is very competitive and moving around a lot. 3. A little kid comes in playing area and mom expects your kids to stop and “teach” the kid how to play? Bc at 4 they have no idea. I have 12 year old and 5 year old. When my oldest plays basketball my youngest is no where near him just bc an accidental push can knock them down bc of the speed of player. You are NOT in wrong at all she was expecting her kid to join anytime someone else is playing. Maybe if they played cards lol

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First off, your kids are way to old to play basketball with her, they could accidentally hurt her. Second what the heck is a 4 yr old doing outside without supervision anyway?! Lastly, I do not make my kids share toys or games if they dont want to. I dont share my stuff just because another adult wants it, so why should they? I woulda chewed that woman out… but Im backwoods like that.

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Nope that childs mom was in the wrong. What parent allows their 4 yr old to play outside unsupervised, esp in the street around teenage boys ? She just wanted a babysitter

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I would walked over knocked on her door and told her after the way she spoke to my children she needs to keep hers away from my children or we will have problems… and I’m not afraid to get a charge if need be🤷‍♀️

Since she didn’t come at them With respect then I would of yelled back, B**** my kids are not baby sitters for you kid who should have adult supervision out her all Alone, she could get hurt playing with these big boys, you want to yell At someone try it on me! You wont like the outcome.
I may look like a sweet souther mama but I grew up In the hood, mess with my kids, you mess with me.

next time her 4 year old is in the street yell " hey hunny where are your parents"?
she def was in the wrong you’re boys were very kind looking out for her daughter. and no 4 yr old should be the street without an adult period.

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Not wrong. 4 is too small and young for them to have to cater to that when they wanted to play basketball. This is why preschool, elementary, middle schools and high schools are all divided. And when middle schools and high schools are the same building fraternitizing with each group is chastised.

Next time tell her sure your boys can play ball ( babysit) her child for $15 an hour.:grin:

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Why is a 4 year old by herself ? And your kids did the right thing , they don’t have to say yes to everything or everybody just because :face_with_monocle:

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1st… Let someone come up and start yelling at my kids… You just unleashed a force you werent prepared for… 2nd… Your child is 4 shes too damn small to be tryin to play ball in the street… Her mom needs to learn her roll and go play some fuckin barbies with her kid…

She was wrong all the way around.

She would have not been yelling at my kids. She would be the main one upset if they did let her 4yr old play with them and she ended up getting hurt. Then she would have wanted you paying for her medical bills

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No they weren’t wrong

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Needs to find someone her own age to play with. If she got hurt then her mom would be mad. Boys would not have fun if they let her play would have to dumb it down for her

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She probably saw them outside, thought “free babysitter” and tried to pull the old “go play outside with the other kids honey”

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No. Your kids were absolutely not in the wrong for saying no to her playing with them, especially since that explained why to her.

It sounds like that mom expected your children to babysit her daughter. That’s not ok.
I would have talked to the mom myself…explained the situation…and my feelings about a 4 year old being unsupervised in the dang street…and then told her straight… if she has any future issues shes to come take it up with me and not speak to them.

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She was in the wrong! Her unattended 4 yr old was outside in the street! She wouldn’t have hollered at my kids.

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Meh parents looking for a babysitter and it didn’t happen

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That girls mom should have been outside watching her. 4 yr is to young to play outside by their selves. We live in apartments and we raise our 6yr granddaughter we didn’t let her outside by herself not unless she playing with the neighbors girl she like 11yrs.old

You were right. She’s too small to play with the big kids in this situation. I would’ve told my 4yr old that.

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You cant teach kindness while screaming how rude someone is. :woozy_face:
She needs Jesus

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Hell no ur kids aint wrong wtf then if she woulda got hurt she woulda had something else to bitch about tell her life aint always being spoiled n getting what they want cause they wanna tell if she wanna tell her mom then u tell her mom to get her a lil basketball net for her age n tell the mom to play with her its not ur kids responsibility to watch her kid smh

If it were just the 6 year old, they should play together. But an 11 and 13 year old playing basketball with a 4 year old? I wouldn’t want her to play because she would probably get hurt

No, they were right to not let her play. One call. DCF.

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I would nicely say “my boys are playing basketball and your daughter could get hurt if hit with the ball. Your more than welcome to come outside and watch your daughter while she plays. The street isn’t safe for a young child to be playing without their parents. Maybe there are kids around her age she can play with. Next time before you come outside and yell at my kids, you should ask what’s going on.”

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She is totally wrong. When my son was younger and he’d go outside and play even to a park with a court the older kids would let him shoot until they started playing a game then they’d ask him to move more so cause he was little like 6 and they didn’t want to hurt him.

Let it go. It is over and to react now just causes neighborhood drama.

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Your boys did nothing wrong! The were the ones doing right by the little girl.

That’s a oh hell no. Don’t come at my kids. Especially when you aren’t watching your 4 yr old.

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No they are not in the wrong. She shouldn’t be showing her daughter whenever she doesn’t get her way she can go cry and everything would be handed to her. She a lil girl who doesn’t need be getting ran over by bigger boys cause I grantee if they had ran her over by accident she would raise HELL!

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First off all why is her little 4 yr old ass out running up to a bunch of boys … Im sorry to much I’d channel… Accidents happen so quickly and theres a pedophile on every block!!

I think she should have assessed the situation before spouting off. If it was children all of the same age then different story. But bc some of the kids were a lot older I think the potential to get hurt would def be high. So maybe kindly pull the mom aside and explain where your kids were coming from if that’s something you’re interested in

Ya she was wrong. I would have definitely yelled back at her. For one, if your boys hurt her, there would of been all kinds of other drama, even tho it’d likely be an accident, it’s basketball and she’s 4. Secondly why tf was a 4 yr old alone outside anyways, idk where ya live but that alone seems dangerous. Thirdly, you’re kids are allowed to have boundaries, they don’t have to include others if they are doing their own thing. No way is she right. At this point, I’d politely tell her if she yells at your children again for expecting them to keep an eye on her 4 yr old (cause let’s be honest that’s what she was looking for if she wasn’t outside) that hell will break loose. She’s 4, her mother should be watching her, not your boys or you. Screw that lady :roll_eyes: