I am in DESPERATE need of advice, please! I have a four-year-old who attends VPK and has been doing well UNTIL I recently gave birth to my son, who is six weeks old. She has been acting out at school and at home. I am not overly concerned about her behavior at home bc we can deal with that, but the school is saying she is yelling at the teachers and not listening. She before having my son never got a bad report, and is a really good kid! We have tried talking with her, taking away things, letting her pick where to eat on Fridays if she has a good week, having her help with the baby whenever she asks, overpraising her when she does something, and making a huge big deal about it. I have not a clue what else we can do. I know being jealous is normal, but can someone give me some advice on what’s worked for you, please. Thank you!!
Try to plan special time for just her? My daughter is going through the same thing and I work in childcare so I’ve seen this type of behavior a lot ! I try to talk with her and take away things to let her know this behavior isn’t aloud I’ve tried to make her feel special still ! Mostly having consistency is key! You have to stick to everything you do and do it the same every time not just here and there , good luck momma
I have 5 kids 22,16,12,11,1 the biggest things that helped us is spending alone time with them even if its just for reading a book or if you have little longer then do that.Also letting them help more with the baby and helping me with things Im doing like laundry or making dinner anything that shows them that I will need them and I always talk to them about how I needed there help and the baby needs them to.I would definitely show them the bad behavior wasnt ok even if they are upset theres other ways to show how they feel instead of misbehaving.It will take time for things to calm down but stick with everything your doing because consistency is huge…
Sounds like you’re doing everything right. May be consider looking into a child psychologist. They can give you better advice and may be have some ideas you haven’t tried yet. Have you talked to your family doctor? Otherwise you should consult an expert.
Until you had your son you spent most of your time with her one on one try to set a day during the week if she’s good you and her can go do stuff without her brother and same with her dad just make sure she knows that even though she is a big sister that you guys still love her as much as before
Our daughter was 4 when we had our second baby, so before the baby was born I prepared the 4 year old. I told her about the baby coming and stressed how little it would be, and that the two of us would need to be careful with it and take care of it together. So from the beginning she was my helper. We had a joint venture. I gave her simple little jobs to do for the baby, like hand me a diaper or the baby powder. She felt a responsibility for her little sister. My oldest daughter will soon be 60 years old and her sister is 56, Never any jealousy. Back then we didn’t send our little ones to school till first grade so it probably made it easier having her at home all time.
I say tell your teachers, that a big change has happened at home… chances are she doesn’t know how to deal with the fact that she isn’t on the throne anymore… any attention is good in her own mind … whether it be negative or positive. Talk to your daughter. Tell her you know this is a big change. You love her and ask her if she needs you… chances are she needs you
Very normal, keep doing what you’re doing,praise her and keep encouraging her, this is normal behavior ,evidently she’ll get it
look at it from her point of view, you had a baby and you sent her away. you are always holding and soothing the baby and she was your baby until 6 weeks ago.
Is it several teachers or just one teacher? She is still young and learning to process her emotions. I went through this when my daughter was in 1st grade. It was a complete turn on her behavior, I got such good remarks from all her teachers the year before. Then I found out it was just her teacher.
We went through this with our daughter. Alone time with Mommy definitely helped us. Daddy would watch the baby and she and I would go on special shopping trips. It would be nothing more than getting milk or something. But she loved it! Also after I put the baby to bed at night, I’d let her pick out a book, and we would sit in her room and read a book every night. We would sometimes have movie night in mommy’s room on the weekends. We’d watch frozen and eat a small snack. Also, lots and lots of praises. You’re mommy’s big girl! You’re such a super helper! Most importantly lots of hugs as well! It’s more than likely just a phase and your little one will come around. Just takes time and patience! You got this momma!
She’s four years old, give me a break, she can’t be that bad! I’d be reading school the riot act! School just need to be consistant and patient with her, agrees acting exactly as you’d expect for a four year old whose just got a new sibling. School must have seen it before with other kids! It will pass.
We instigated a Mommy and Me weekly date when our older kids got new siblings. Babies and toddlers stayed home, big kids went out for pie, cake etc. It helped a lot.
She’s acting up for attention. Give it to her without her begging.
She is begging for attention, think of how much time she used to get with just you and her daddy, I bet it was a lot now think about how much time the baby needs. Spend as much time one on one as you can with her, reassure her that she was just like this as a new born tell her how fast she grew and changed and tell her that her brother will also grow and change, and before she knows it she will be able to play with him and he won’t need so much of your time. If you give her a big hug and tell her how much you love her before attending to the baby during your daughters waking hours it does help her realize she is still loved.
It’s the teacher’s problem. You can’t do anything about what she does in school, especially at that age. When I had my second child, my 4 year old went to school and told them we were naming him Boy George. We had no problem with her at school, but she did climb in his crib and punch him in the stomach. That I could deal with at home and, believe me, I dealt with it.
You had a new baby and sent her off to school. She was your baby. Have you tried letting your husband take the baby out for a few hrs here and there so you have Mom time with your little girl. She is probably feeling replaced. I was 7 when my mother had a baby and all of a sudden everything changed and I hated it and nothing was ever the same.
I think sometimes over compensating can make it worse. Do your best to be there and to give time to her but if you go overboard the bad behavior could continue. Just my own experience.