My dads ex lied to the courts and now won't let anyone see the kids: Advice?

My father had never been in my life when I was younger. He moved to Kansas before I was born to escape the drug scene here in California. Since relocating, he had found a special someone, and together they have three beautiful children aged 10, 6, and a 10mth old. I’ve met the oldest two but wasn’t in the state when the baby was born. Before she arrived, they hit a rough patch and have been broken up ever since. The thing is with this woman; she’s considerably younger than my dad, has always had her parents to fall back on during the financial crisis, and has never understood the behavior of an addict. Since splitting up, she has cut off all contact between myself and my siblings through her. She went to court, trashed my father’s name, ruined 20+ year relationships and friendships, and was granted full custody. My father gets supervised visits with her mother, which never happens because the whole family hates him. My father has been reduced to nothing without this woman, without his kids. For months he would call me every night sobbing because he doesn’t understand why she cheated, then flipped it around and made herself the victim. She does not support him whatsoever and thrives on seeing him fail/suffer. He’s lost jobs, lost his home, lost everything because of all the drama with this woman. My question is, what can I do? I want my siblings to grow up with their father in their lives, I didn’t, and it really took a toll on me. I have less than four family members alive, and this woman is determined to keep the kids from me. She lies about everything, is fake and malicious. Shes made it to where I want to drive out there and kick her booty. I’ve tried talking nicely to her and kissing her ass to be able to be around my siblings, but she just won’t budge. Help?


Records everytime and everything she says keep it,text or whatever that too its prove bring that to court that sound isnt fair for him and you too.


There is nothing you can do. They arent your children. Your dad can get an attorney and go back to court but if he was already given only supervised visitations there is something he isnt telling you the whole truth about. They don’t just do that for no reason. Lies dont do that, only actual evidence does.


Take her to court for siblings rights. Then when u have a chance to see those kids .have ur dad around as well.

U have to accept the things u cant control

Focus ur energy on ur relationship with ur dad

After they r 18 u can see them

It’s not worth it becuz its actually his battle to fight

Grandparents have rights
Which they need an attorney to see grandchildren
I havent heard of siblings having rights…only that they share time when their parents have parenting time

Move on

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Well if the court has ordered the visitation then it not being done she can be held in contempt of court and he should notify the court or if he has a lawyer let them!! He can also request you to have visitation with the kids with or without him!


Firstly, your dad can file contempt if he’s not getting court appointed visitation.
Additionally, he needs to do what he can to prove that he is not what she claims. Be it regular drug testing, counseling, whatever.

If and when your dad can afford it he needs to take her back to court to have the parenting plan adjusted

There’s not a lot you personally can do. Some states do allow siblings visitation and some do not (that is entirely dependent on the state your siblings live in). Otherwise, be supportive and encouraging.


Sounds like your so called sperm donor is a real loser


Lawyer it up… A judge might grant you to visit

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Hire a private detective and prove her dishonesty.


He can document everything text and email and wen she doint let him see his children if it’s court ordered far the visit she can get in trouble if she doint let him see the children and he needs to talk to a attorney about it all and hire one and fight far his cost or right


You have rights as their sister. Go to court yourself and get visitations. Even if its only a weekly phone call and a visit each summer. You have a right to see them and they have a right to know you. As long as you’re a normal decent person who genuinely loves them and is a good.role model.


Nothing you can really do.until they are older

Sorry hon. But you may have to wait till your siblings are old enough to seek you out.

This is the wrong crowd to be asking for advice about father’s rights or anything like that. I suggest The Father’s Rights Movement page to start.


If he gets court ordered supervised visits, and they’re denying him that, I’d take her back to court and let them know she’s in contempt.


You can not win this battle. It is better to wait until they are grown, and then don’t talk bad about their mother,

Did your dad do drugs. Is he still doing them

I think it’s sad you’re without your siblings but I also think it’s sad you’re only seeing your fathers side. You don’t know what went on inside their relationship, he left you. He’s capable of unkindness and to be extremely honest, she’s the children’s mother. Whatever she does for their safety and best interest is within her right. This post alone sounds a lot like enabling. I hope you’re able to reconnect with the children but I think you should remove yourself from your dads narrative. What if he was your partner. What if those were your kids. What would you do. I’d keep trying from a safe distance to let his ex know that you are NEUTRAL. Your dad is an adult. The children are the main concern. Your dad should get some help to aid him in this breakup.


Your dad needs to document every time she refuses to let him have his visits. Like literally call the cops up to wherever the visit is supposed to take place. That way the judge sees he is trying & she is not playing her part. This happened to my friend. He ended up having alternate weekends after about a year of fighting. It takes a while but possibly the only way.