My daughter doesn;t want to talk to her father: Advice?

Any advice will help. My eight year old is refusing to speak to her father. Every time my phone rings and his name pops up, she huffs and says No, or she will jerk her head and shoulder real snotty and just turn away like she is ignoring the fact that I told her he is calling. It has gradually gotten worse since she got back from his house in July. She visits him for one month every year because he lives up north and we live down south. Due to “financial difficulties and the travel difficulties,” he only sees her for the one month of the year. A month ago she told him she didn’t want to come to his house for the summer and she wanted to stay at my house for the whole summer. She tried in her nicest way to tell him, and he, of course, turned around and made her feel just awful. My daughter has had a rough few years with trusting adults, and them making her feel like crap and putting her into an all-time low. Instead of him trying to make things better, he hung up with her, feeling extremely upset. Now it’s been a month since she has spoken to him, and I’ve asked her about it, and she doesn’t seem to care in the slightest to speak to him or even like him at all. She has even gone as far as saying things like I don’t even like my dad. She does not get that talk from me because I do not speak about her father at all when she is around. That’s the last thing I need her hearing is mom talk about her dad in any way. He has called twice this week, and she continues to ignore him. Does anyone have any advice for me here? Should I continue to let the phone ring and let him wonder why she isn’t picking up? Or should I tell him to stop calling and she will call him if she wants to talk?

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Maybe he’s doing something to her that she doesn’t like or want.

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I would take her to a therapist. It may be something that she is experiencing there. Also, you dont get a choice if it is a custody agreement. Breaking it could land you in jail and her in his full physical custody. I would tell her that she needs to express her feelings verbally and maybe he didnt know he violated her boundaries.

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Obviously something happened when she was there at her dads house. I’d suggest talking to her and then talking to her dad. Something isnt right.

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Sit and talk with her judgement free maybe something happened she isn’t saying anything about. If she doesn’t feel comfortable talking maybe a school counselor or someone else can get her to open up.

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I would be quite worried if it was my daughter, I would try and find out why she don’t want to go? Maybe give her a diary but sneakily read it? Something really is not right🤔

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First thing would be to answer the phone and talk to him…

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I agree with previous comments. Seems something happened while she was with dad. Little girls don’t just start refusing to speak with their fathers, something triggers that. I would be a little concerned and don’t force her to talk to him until you figure out what’s going on.

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Tell him what’s going on and suggest that he write her an email or a letter. Then he can say what he wants and she can read, react and respond on her terms.

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I think a father should always try . But you should talk with both on phone when she is ready maby

Quit pushing, obviously something happened. You should be on her side, not her father’s. It’s absolutely her right to not want to speak to or see him.

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Maybe he or someone he hangs around is doing something to her :woman_shrugging:t4: I hate to say it but it may he true

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Simple. don’t make her talk to him. There’s a reason why she doesn’t want to talk to him or see him and you need to find out why

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Momma, something has happened. My son went thru this. He ended up in therapy bc he told he wanted his daddy to die at age 5. It got so bad, he was wetting the bed. :sleepy:
It may be nothing happened, just how he talks at her. It’s different and she hates it.
Have her see a therapist and see if you can get answers and Dad needs to make it a priority and come see the therapist with her.

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Don’t force your children to be around adults they feel uncomfortable around

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When I was a kid I went through this… my great grandparents were the ones who raised me from a really young age and my mom was one of those that would come and go a lot as I got older I got tired of her bs so when she started calling again I would tell my mawmaw I didn’t want to speak to her this went on for a good year I think but eventually I decided to speak to her again… something has happened to make your daughter not want to speak with her father so sit down with her and talk maybe it’s nothing to serious and eventually she’ll come around just don’t force her

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Take her to a therapist immediately

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Definitely look into therapy for her. Also answer the phone and talk to him yourself. Ask about the last visit and let him know she’s upset and doesn’t want to talk to him for the time being.

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You need to find out what happened when she was there last summer. I agree, if she won’t talk to you, a therapist might be needed. Good luck!

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I was this age and it was me not wanting anything to do with my mom and you being in my dad’s shoes. Eventually my dad just let me figure it out in my own time and after many times trying…finally to this day at 40yrs old…I have cut off all contact with her. So just let her be and if or when she decides to talk to her dad, she will in her own time. Something is definitely going on. When she’s ready to talk, she will…but the more forceful you are the more distant she’ll become about it all.

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