My Daughter Doesn't Listen and Constantly Gets in Trouble During Class: Advice?

QUESTION:

"I need help! My daughter is five, and she is in kindergarten. She went to preschool last year, and we had none of these problems.

Every single day she comes home with one or more thumbs down, and it’s for the same four things:

1) She hangs on the coat hooks when she is supposed to be lining up.

2) She wanders around the classroom during work time, disturbing other kids. She was throwing pencils one day.

3) She goes to the bathroom and wanders the halls.

4) She interrupts the teacher every day.

We have talked to her a million times. We have done every punishment that we can think of. Nothing and no one is getting through to her.

I just wondered if anyone has some advice. And no, she is not allowed to do whatever she wants at home and she listens to everyone in our family. We were very surprised to learn that she is so naughty at school because it not like her."

RELATED QUESTION: Do I have a right to be upset with my son’s teacher?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“She is growing up… The teacher may not have control of her class or she is extremely bored…she may need to be challenged more educationally.”

“Maybe instead of punishing her for misbehaving, start rewarding her for days she behaves well in school.”

“Sounds to me like she’s a 5-year-old kid whose teachers need to move to teach high school.”

“My granddaughter had similar difficulties which showed up when starting school. After several professional assessments, she was eventually diagnosed with ADHD. It should not be mistaken for bad behaviour. My advice is do your research and get some professional advice. I’m not saying your daughter has this condition but it would be worth looking into as it is often mistaken for bad behaviour . One of the main symptoms is short attention span and difficulties with concentration. Good luck.”

“Start telling the teacher to time her trips to the restroom. If I noticed that a student had an issue with hanging on the hooks or anything like that, I would move my line over. Her disturbing other students? How??? I’m seeing that the teacher isn’t making sure she is challenged. If she was, she would sit-down and stay engaged.”

“I personally think ADD/ADHD is severely over-diagnosed. Some kids are just bored in school and not following others like robots. I find they are very quick on jumping on a diagnosis if they are not all the same and follow directions.”

“She is a kindergartener… The teachers should be more adaptive. She is just showing age-appropriate behavior. Maybe not the throwing of pencils but if she is being constantly told she is being bad and not doing a good job she is bound to get frustrated and act out.”

“I cut my son off sugar for 2 and 1/2 weeks to see if it helped. It really did. He was much the same way. Couldn’t sit still in class. Maybe consider cutting out all sugar for a while. Things with dye in them seem to be even worse. Natural fruit was okay though.”

“Sounds like ADD/ADHD and oppositional defiance disorder, my son was diagnosed with both and this sounds just like him. Routine, rewards, and medication have helped him so so much.”

“My kindergartener would just get up and come home! We lived very close, small town. She will improve. I also spent time in the classroom with my child. Not sure this is allowed in this COVID environment. I have spent a good amount of time even on my lunch hour to help my son w reading. It did help. Being a Mom has its moments of hops and skips. Don’t punish her. Be kind and understanding. I wish you well.”

“Sticker chart to track good and bad days. Have a prize bin so that she knows what she is working towards. Our school also did a sheet to have our son track his own progress throughout the day. He would give himself a happy face, neutral face, or frowny face for each subject of the day and would discuss with his teacher at the end of the day. They did a point system with the faces he would get so that we could track progress. This year my son is in 1st grade and he has improved soooo much. It really did help.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

19 Likes

Anyone being mean to her? When my daughter was in Kindergarten, there were 2 boys bullying her and several other classmates.

1 Like

Have her tested for ADHD and ODD

5 Likes

Let her take her time growing up there.
Someone could be bullying her. Do not be mean at home to her.

1 Like

She is growing up… The teacher may not have control of her class or she is extremely bored…she may need to be challenged more educationally

6 Likes

When is her birthday? If she is young consider giving her another year before K.

3 Likes

It’s a phase she is going through, she is bored and needs more to stimulate her !

1 Like

Maybe its not so much her as that they have had to crack down on that stuff, specifically the wondering and not being where she needs to be because od Covid. Whatever it is, good luck and remember shes so young she will probably grow out of it

Shes young. Pull her out and put her back in next school year.

1 Like

Start telling the teacher to time her trips to the restroom. If I noticed that a student had an issue with hanging on the hooks or anything like that, I would move my line over. Her disturbing other students? How??? Im seeing that the teacher isn’t making sure she is challenged. If she was, she would sit-down and stay engaged.

4 Likes

My son was the exact same way, I had him tested and he was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. I waited to have him tested until 2nd grade though to see if he just needed some time.

1 Like

My son is autistic with severe adhd and SPD. He canNOT sit still even with his medication… I just let him do him but as long as he’s participating and doing his work.

Maybe have her tested for adhd… also, I would NEVER EVER call my child “naughty” she’s having a bad time and maybe there’s something going on… :woman_shrugging:t2:

Have you spent a day in Her class or hanging out nearby? If not try that first to trouble shoot. If its truly her then have her tested or get her sensory items. If its the teacher or other kiddos then have a conversation with the school on how to resolve. But you as the parent need to find out what the problem is first

Sounds like she’s bored. Have they thought of trying more challenging activities to do with her to keep her mind interested ?

1 Like

She’s bored.
Find testing for advancement.
:woman_shrugging:t2:

She is a kindergartener… The teachers should be more adaptive. She is just showing age appropriate behavior. Maybe not the throwing of pencils but if she is being constantly told she is being bad and not doing a good job she is bound to get frustrated and act out.

2 Likes

Is she going her work and getting done before everyone? If so she may be bored. You can also ask her ped for advice, it may be a phase by testing her boundaries or adhd also.

Maybe instead of punishing her for misbehaving, start rewarding her for days she behaves well in school.

5 Likes

My kindergartener would just get up and come home! We lived very close, small town. She will improve. I also spent time in the class room w my child. Not sure this is allowed in this COVID environment. I have spent a good amount of time even on my lunch hour to help my son w reading. It did help. Being a Mom has its moments of hops and skips. Don’t punish her. Be kind and understanding. I wish you well

1 Like

I cut my son off sugar for 2 and 1/2 weeks to see if it helped. It really did. He was much the same way. Couldn’t sit still in class. Maybe consider cutting out all sugar for a while. Things with dye in them seem to be even worse. Natural fruit was okay though.

2 Likes