My daughter doesn't want to be at her dads: Help?

My 9-year-old daughter is at her fathers for the holidays but she is absolutley miserable. We have a custody agreement that says he gets her on Thanksgiving this year but it’s to the point where I feel horrible to send her there, but legally, I know that I have too. At what point is this the childs choice? She adores her dad but she doesn’t get along with his new wifes kids and I know this is the reason she doesn’t want to be there. I am torn beacause I want her spending time with him but I also don’t want her to fall into a depression due to being there. Help?


Once they turn 10 it’s their choice

Talk to her dad
Depending on your state- some is 13 16 etc

1 Like

I think it depends on the state but I think in NC you can decide at age 12. Idk my dad always let me go back home when I was miserable so idk :disappointed:

1 Like

Talk to her dad. At the end of the day she is his child. He should care.


It differs state to state as far as the age thing goes. I’d try and find out the issues behind her not getting along with the other kids. There’s a problem there and I’d attack that first before not spending time with her father.


She’s really still too young to decide but I guess it depends on the judge. If it’s really a problem take him back to court.

Go back to court. You don’t have the power to modify on your own. Been there Mama

It needs to be brought up to her father that his child is being made to feel some time of way. But I would also look it up as it varies by state and you need to make sure that even with a custody agreement it’s their choice so you aren’t held in contempt


I’d sit down with the father first and explain the situation. Then you two need to talk to your daughter .


I was 12 when i stopped going.


I ask you to consider if it were the other way around? Talk to Dad and maybe a counselor for the 3 of you. :pray::pray::heart:


Shes his daughter to. I would go to him with it. She will also have to learn how to get along with her step siblings


I would talk to her father and be honest with him as to why she doesn’t want to be there. I would ask him if you can keep her home. I was 12 when I was given the choice.

1 Like

Have you tried talking to him about why she doesn’t want to go and seeing if he can come up with a way to help them all get along?


In Las Vegas the legal age when a
Kid can decide who he/she wants to live with is 12 years old.

In pa its 18. Period

16 in Ohio But ofc you should take in concideration the childs choices as well. Maybe you guys can come to an agreement
Where she can split her time with you both. Otherwise he can file contempt against you for not following the custody agreement.

Talk to her father.
As a mother…whose had a child kept from her it was awful…I understand it’s not the same situation, where you are trying to keep her away, but maybe if he realizes there is a problem he will work to fix it.

1 Like

Have a conversation with them both. Not the internet

1 Like