My Daughter Excessively Wipes Herself to the Point She Cries: Advice?

QUESTION:

"Just wondering if anyone’s daughter has gone through excessive wiping. Crying after they wipe and wipe and still feel ‘wet’ even though they are dry.

One pediatrician said just ignore it it’ll go away… but it’s hard in the morning when you are trying to leave for work and school and they feel like they need to keep wiping.

Went for a second opinion, an older pediatrician said it was anxiety and she’s seen it before and it usually goes away. This started in January/February of this year. Anyone experience this and if so what steps did you take? Did it go away? Tia!"

RELATED QUESTION: How Can I Teach My Daughter to Wipe Correctly?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“Put some corn starch on the toilet paper when wiping? It sounds to me like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seeing a mental health professional might be needed if the issue persists or she develops other ‘ticks.’ OCD isn’t just one certain behavior, it comes in many different forms.”

“Figure out the anxiety. School problems, being rushed to get out the door, is someone touching her there, bubble baths are irritating, laundry soap or softener not rinsed out well or changed, does she have a urine infection, wearing a bathing suit all the time can cause yeast and urine infections. I’m a retired pediatric by the way. If your insurance or pediatrician have a nurse line, call them for further advice and follow up. Something is bothering your little one.”

“I haven’t been through this but maybe a panty liner would help her feel more dry.”

" Maybe she could use a hairdryer on low heat after an initial wipe. That would be gentler to her privates until you can get to the root of the anxiety. BTW, I think it’s normal for kids, girls especially, to use tons of TP when they’re learning; not sure how old your girl is. Sending hugs to you both & hoping this gets resolved quickly. Parenting is not for the faint of heart!"

“Sounds like my daughter, she has been doing this for a good few years. We’ve had her checked and samples taken and all came back fine. She has anxiety to the point if we go anywhere she panics and the first things she wants to know is if there will be toilets. I sat her down and had a good talk about how delicate that area is and how it should naturally feel there and not to excessively wipe as she will make herself sore and get water infections. She’s coming up to 11 soon. I’ve started buying her little panty liners that she can wear so she feels more secure to go out/school it’s helped a little. I remember going through the same emotions when I was younger. Sit her down and have a good talk to her to help her understand her little body a bit better.”

“I have the same issue and was told it’s because I’m diabetic and I’m eating too many sweets and my Urgent Care doctor gave me a pill and it helped, but no matter how much I wipe I feel like I’m leaking. It’s very annoying but I have to constantly wipe.”

“My daughter recently turned 5, she was extremely bad for this around age 4. She still is like this, but not as bad. She will wipe with a wet one and then dry, then get more and dry a second time. She will still complain if her underwear feels wet at all. I think it’s just something they go through, but honestly I think it would be uncomfortable to, so I just make sure she’s dry. Usually the second “dry wipe” she is good to go! Good luck to you.”

“My daughter did this for awhile. She was in a rush and also just wanted to be clean. Switched to super soft TP and also talked to her about how to wipe properly, how much toilet paper to use, and why she needed to be gentle (she was hurting herself) and it was a good time to throw in a general private part safety conversation too. Monitored her wiping habits for awhile after or reminded her to wipe gently. It all worked out. GL!”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

9 Likes

I haven’t been through this but maybe a panty liner would help her feel more dry

5 Likes

Maybe just grab some cheap wash cloths from the dollar store and let her wipe with dry ones. Or try boy short underpants instead of regular panties.

1 Like

Put some corn starch on the toilet paper when wiping?
It sounds to me like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seeing a mentor health professional might be needed if the issue persists or she develops other “ticks”. OCD isn’t just one certain behavior, it comes in many different forms.

11 Likes

I was this way. And still somewhat am. I am 27

My mother called me out on it recently when we did a buddy bathroom trip while out and about. She said it drove her crazy. I never realized it was an issue, I totally thought it was normal. To this day I will still wipe ALOT

5 Likes

Could be a tic disorder due to anxiety. Did it start when Covid first started?

2 Likes

Or some other change in her routine?

Buy flushable wipes. Explain that they are moist ( wet) but that she will be clean after. A lot of it is the idea of being dirty.

I did this as a child, I remember even folding tissue and pressing it down there against the area and leaving it because I didn’t like how I felt moisture. I guess I thought it was pee maybe, idk, but I never told my mom I was doing it until she saw me one day and told me not to.

Figure out the anxiety. School problems, being rushed to get out the door, is someone touching her there, bubble baths are irritating, laundry soap or softener not rinsed out well or changed, does she have a urine infection, wearing bathing suit all the time can cause yeast and urine infections. I’m a retired pediatric by the way. If your insurance or pediatrician have a nurse line call them for further advise and follow up. Something is bothering your little one.

9 Likes

I wpuld take the child to a pyschiatrist.

I did this as a kid too. I still sometimes do, but as an adult I have a reason. I have multiple chronic illnesses that make my stomach messed up all the time. I mostly grew out of it by the time I was like 13

Maybe she could use a hair dryer on low heat after an initial wipe. That would be gentler to her privates until you can get to the root of the anxiety. BTW, I think it’s normal for kids, girls especially, to use tons of TP when they’re learning; not sure how old your girl is.

Sending hugs to you both & hoping this gets resolved quickly. Parenting is not for the faint of heart!

1 Like

I feel my daughter (6 yrs old) wipes to much. After she pees she holds the toilet paper there and wipes inside herself. At first I was like…what are you doing? She told me she doesn’t want the pee to drip on her. If she gets one drop of pee in the inside of her underwear she wants to change them because she doesn’t like the wet feeling. I would have to pack extra underwear in her backpack when she went to school because if she dribbled in her undies she would complain to the teacher until I came and got her to change. After the 2nd time if that happening I just started packing her extra undies. If I’m in the bathroom with her and she’s wiping I usually have to tell her that that’s enough she’s clean and to stop wiping.

I would buy flushable wipes or wipes (and get her to put it in a little bin beside the toilet). The wipes will clean her but also not cause irritation from the constant wiping. Also look into panty liners, they are thin pads that stop the feeling of wet discharge against the skin.

My youngest is like that. It takes forever, but I just thought she will grow out of it😔 she will take like ten min to wipe when she just peed and also when drying herself after a bath.

My daughter did this for awhile. She was in a rush and also just wanted to be clean. Switched to super soft TP and also talked to her about how to wipe properly, how much toilet paper to use, and why she needed to be gentle (she was hurting herself) and it was a good time to throw in a general private part safety conversation too. Monitored her wiping habits for awhile after or reminded her to wipe gently. It all worked out. GL!

1 Like

Have her checked for a UTI. My daughter did this all the time when she was 6. She didn’t have any other symptoms. Called Dr and they diagnosed her with a severe uti.

I did this when I was a little kid for like a year and finally my mom had to come up with a little dance pee pee dance where I would wiggle my butt after I wiped ( I think to air the area out) and after she figured out the dance i never had a problem The pediatrician said it was a mild form of OCD. I did the same thing with washing my hands and thinking my hands weren’t clean.

My daughter recently turned 5, she was extremely bad for this around age 4. She still is like this, but not as bad. She will wipe with a wet one and then dry, then get more and dry a second time. She will still complain if her underwear feel wet at all. I think it’s just something they go through, but honestly I think it would be uncomfortable to, so I just make sure she’s dry. Usually the second “dry wipe” she is good to go! Good luck to you :purple_heart: