My daughter has been at pre-school: Thoughts?

Hello! Sorry long post! My 4.5 year old recently started preschool about two weeks ago. Four days a week, 3 hours a day. She did okay the first day, she really just wanted to play, but around mid-day, she started to understand that she had to do work as well. Day two and three she SCREAMED and cried the whole day because she couldn’t play, she wouldn’t talk to the teachers or classmates, and no one could comfort her, she just cried. Both days I had to pick her up an hour early. So she only was there for two hours and cried the whole time. Each day we brought her home, and her father and I both tried explaining to her nicely that she has to follow the rules and listen and respect the teacher. She seemed to understand and was interested in going back on Monday to have a great day. So Monday we took her, and she had an AMAZING day. She did all her work and arts and crafts and still played well with everyone. So we praised her with her favorite candy and lots of playtime at home. The next day, I got a phone call 2 hours after dropping her off, screaming and crying because she wanted to play and not do her work. Once again, we picked her up and redirected her, this time we were very firm and kept reminding her that she had to follow rules she couldn’t do what she wanted on her own time. Finally, the next day she goes to school, and not even 30 minutes later, I’m at the school to pick her up, this time with a video of what happened during the day. I watched the video from start to finish, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen her act that way, she was only supposed to trace her numbers 1-10 and she was uninterested she kept trying to run to the “playroom” instead of working on her numbers which would have only taken 10 minutes. She begins to scream and cry like someone was murdering her. There were both of her classroom teachers, all classmates, and teachers from other classes trying to calm her; nothing helped; she wouldn’t talk; she would just scream. The preschool director made it pretty clear that it’s best I do not bring her back after two weeks of no improvement, and also recommended waiting until next year to take her to kindergarten (we planned on taking her this coming August). My question is, Should I try taking her to kindergarten this year? Or should I try to wait? Homeschool? I’m at a loss because I don’t know what another way to help her understand she can’t do whatever she wants. Side note *she is very disciplined by both her father and me. (we don’t usually “whoop” her unless it’s something she knows was wrong and deliberately did anyways). She does not act out at home or around anyone else usually. So this is very new to us.


Maybe limit her playtime at home, try the routine off teaching her at home get her used to the idea of going to school. Good luck


She just might not have been ready. Lessen her playtime at home, teach her things. Make it a school environment. It will take time, it’s normal at this age.


My daughter didn’t do preschool for similar reasons. I took out. I think some kids aren’t designed for it. No kindergarten. Didn’t affect my daughter later on. “A” student. Honor roll. Their feelings count.

She just not ready for school yet. That’s not a bad thing. All children are different and each matures at their own rate. Since you said you could homeschool I assume keeping her home until next year isn’t a hardship. Work with her at home to get her ready for next year.


Start doing the same work they do with her at school, at home! If you can do your best to work with their schedule while shes at home it will help at school. I would also suggest if you can, not picking her up. If she screams and shows bad behavior she knows mom will be there to pick her up and she wont have to do what school is asking her to do. My middle child cried the 1st 2 weeks of headstart and my last one hated it for a month but as they learn the routine it gets better.

Try to volunteer in the classroom with everyone. Let her see you smile & be okay with interacting & it may change her behavior. Although when I did this with my daughter I decided that classroom was not fit for her. We switched schools & she did amazing:-)

Sounds like seperation anxiety. Sometime kids just are not ready and she sounds just like that. It may be by the time kindergarten starts she may be ready. If not wait till she is 6. One year can make a big difference


I would make her “earn” play time. Playtime should be rewarded for hard work. Personally, I would have my child complete tasks (numbers, arts & crafts, school work, ect…) to earn play time. Also, it seems she may be new to social interactions with people (Teachers & other children) So, I would also work on her with this as well. I would slowly integrate her with a small transition. It seems that she did not adapt to the “big” change as well as you would have liked. I think that if you do a slow transition, show love & support, & encourage the new changes as a positive substitute for play time… then she might have a better time adapting.

Maybe get her on a routine at home. Work on “school stuff” no play time during that time. Unless you see great improvement before August, holding her back might be a better choice


Sounds like time to go home woop that behind and make her finish tracing her numbers. Every. Single. Time. And after explaine that this behavior will not be tolerated . Every. Single. Time.


Sounds to me likes she’s just been completely overwhelmed… Whooping as you put it won’t solve a darn thing. Listen to her


Possibly take her for counseling. They may be able to figure it ou soponer than you.


She’s spoiled! She shouldn’t have got a prize for 1 decent day when she had all the bad days, she is not entitled to do as she pleases, set boundaries and make rules for her. I swear parents know nothing about rules, respect, and discipline these days!


Sounds like separation anxiety. Can you ask the school if you can stay for an hour until she settles for about 1 week? Talk to her daily about the activities in school and tell her that when you leave you will always come back. I’m surprised at the reaction of the school admin because they should be trained to deal with this type of reaction… just saying. No whooping. Not going to solve anything. It’s a trust issue. Also, there is such a thing called “planned ignoring”. When she throws her tantrums they should not reward it with attention once she is safe. Soon she would realise that that behavior brings no rewards. Best of luck.


Sounds like she isn’t ready for school. I would give her a year and introduce her to “homework” at home. You could get her some workbooks for her to start practicing in and doing everyday so she gets the routine down. Then send her to preschool next year so she can adjust properly. You don’t want to push her and make her introduction to school a traumatic one.

Try a different pre school that helped when my son did that

Seems to me she knows if she throws a fit she gets to come home …Stop going and getting her make her stay…give her incentives on wanting to stay she’ll be ok I promise


U said she was ok on the Monday but the Tuesday she acted out. Perhaps try Monday-wednesday-friday. That gives her the day in between to settle and destress as this is a big thing for her. On the days she has off try to follow the kindys routine with the learning.


What. The. Fu…???

The kid gets REWARDED for doing what she is supposed to be doing anyway? Gosh honey, you can breathe! Good girl, lets go get you a pizza!

This kid is spoiled. Period. She has been the center of attention and had her ass kissed since she was born. Mommy does the hard stuff for her so she can play. Doesn’t get her way? Start whining. Still not getting her way? Turn up the volume to 11 and rip the knob off.

The payoff for her? She gets to stay home and play while Bulldozer Mom does her heavy lifting. And buys her ice cream.

99% percent of the rest of you are raising kids who will never, ever, grow up happy and go out on their own. That should scare you.