My daughter has been struggling in school: Advice?

Please post as I have no friends, and I really just need to get this off of my chest… I am a single mom to a nine-year-old little girl. She attends public school since pre-k, and since the 1st-grade year it has literally been the 7th circle of hell. The 1st-grade teacher was the devil’s mistress and put my daughter through the wringer. My little sunlight just burned right out. That woman lost her job, and it seems like the Administration from that school has held it against us ever since. They labeled her as that kid. Every year after that, I have been told she has a hard time staying on task. And my daughter has had a difficult time connecting with her teachers. She gets bored with her work, but she is a smart little girl. The teachers have told me as long as they make sure she is on the task or in smaller groups, she blasts away. But its always the staying on task they keep focusing on. 2nd grade year she didn’t fail. But she got picked on by the kids and the staff didn’t want to help. The 3rd grade she started making 70s they. They wanted to put her on a 504plan because now the school says she has ADHD. What! Her pediatrician and counselor have never even mentioned that to me ever, nor do I think she has that in the 9 years I’ve raised her. So now the school just wants to put that label on her because the teachers say she has a hard time staying on task. Now in 4th grade, I switched schools because I was tired of that Administration targeting her yet same district and yet the 504plan has not benefited her in any way she is failing yet again and now the district is trying to pressure me into special education testing because I told them that the 504 plan is failing and that the only excuse they can give me is that she can’t stay on task? I asked why they won’t send home any work home that she isn’t completing if she isn’t? When that was in the initial agreement to begin with for the 504 plan… after I spoke with a school board member about all of this, her math grade conveniently just from 55 to 88?! I raised high concern there. I’m just so angry at all of this! My daughter sat alone for 9 weeks alone at the lunch table while the staff passed by and observed it and did nothing about it. I called three times asking the counselor to get involved and still she did nothing! I hate school! If I could pull her put and do something different I would! I feel so helpless!!

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If they make a 504 plan and they sign it they have to stick to it!!
My son has a 504 plan and it is very helpful. The teachers all do their part as per the plan states though. If this school isn’t helping then maybe you need to look I to changing schools?

Could you homeschool? Or does your district offer distance learning so that she can just learn from home currently?

If neither of those are options, Id go all the way up the rank through the school board/superintendent. If thats still not doing anything, go above- theres always someone in the government at a state level in charge of education. Contact local news stations & fill them in on whats been going on in the schools…the district wont like the negative public attention.

If they signed a 504 theyre supposed to be sticking to it!

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Can I ask why you are so against an ADHD diagnosis. I have a 9 year old daughter with a similar situation. You may not notice the trouble focusing at home because it’s not a structured setting. The doctor likely wouldn’t notice this in a short visit as well. My daughter doesn’t necessarily have the hyperactive part but definitely has difficulty focusing and staying on task in class. I think it would be worth looking into more.

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My best advice would be to get an advocate! And not one that has a child in the same school system.

Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with SpEd classes. My oldest was struggling in first grade due to his ADHD and Satan’s Bride for a teacher until I pushed for SpEd testing. Then it was discovered that the smaller classes and extra attention/help were what he needed and he got an IEP. Definitely get an advocate, but don’t rule out SpEd.

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Hugs. She may be adhd. A lot of kids aren’t diagnosed until later. Second the staff cannot force the students to “hang” with her and if they do it could turn out worse. Third teachers and counsellors can only help so much and if your not being nice you won’t do anything except make the. Scared to do anything.
I would have her privately assessed.
As depending on the amount of kids in the school even if they have good intentions their work load may not allow for that kind of attention.
Also make an appointment with your pediactric doctor and question the staying on task it may be that you didn’t ever mentio. It to the doctor and at any apt you were there for something else and forgot to mention it.
Have you asked your daughter why she doesn’t talk to anyone? Maybe it has a different reason. Also teachers can’t really raise a grade from 55 to 88 so maybe that quarter she actually understood the work given.
This unfortunatley is on you and it’s your responsibility to get her assessed yourself if you don’t want the school to assess her.
She may also feel anxiety about how you deal with things regarding her
We all see our children differently than others do and that’s normal. The plan should be to help her not yourself.
Please note when put on a list for a counsellor or assessment it can take a year to get to your name. A counsellor also may take up to eight months to see a child of that child isn’t self harming.
School sucks for most kids it’s our job to make it easier not put nervous eyes on them. Hugs. Breath. It will be ok

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I have 2 kids with ADHD, a pediatrician isn’t going to notice if your kid has it unless you have a sit down conversation about it with them.
And kids act differently between school and home so sometimes parents just don’t notice.

Also, get an advocate not associated with the school. The school needs to stick with the 504.

Consider homeschooling and I’m saying this as someone who was bullied thought all my school years. Until my 6th grade I was jumped everyday by a group of girls and finally broke down to my parents what was going on my mom raised hell because she tried to fight it and the teachers made us be “friends” when staff wasn’t in sight I was bullied and made fun of multiple times. I was homeschooled for being tramatized and suffering anxiety I didn’t want to leave my mother’s sight and was never alone. Then I’m 7th grade I was transferred to a charter school I would go to school two days a week for four hours to meet with my teacher and the other three days I did my assignments at home independently I graduated with a 3.0

And Im saying homeschooled because your daughter needs you right now and it’s hard on kids I never wanted to tell anyone about what happened and I never showed signs of being bullied because I didn’t want my parents to worry. Get her into a new school, new district if possible for a fresh start.

My daughter was in EAK last year and a fire extinguisher fell on her foot I raised hell with the principal and school district. How could something so heavy not be tied down or placed away from children. That school was out of our district and now it’s hard to get her back in for the new school year, I wonder why.

Homeschooling is always an option. Look up the requirements for your state. You could also have her tested for AHDH yourself just to be sure. They can’t just diagnose her with it lmao. I would be frustrated too.

My son was 9 when the school started noticing exactly what you have discribed. He is now in 5rh grade not hyper active but has an issue staying on task at school. He is on low dose meds and he will tell you himself that his brain doesn’t stop if he doesn’t take his meds and he doesn’t like it. Also he tests the highest in his class now on the mesa testing.

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Also if your child is Adhd and you don’t treat you are setting them up for failure. There is nothing wrong with medicating if it helps your child. Coming from a mom that was totally against it until I saw how much it helped and until my son discribed what it was like for him not having the meds…

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Take her to a different district!!! My little girl was falling behind, and having alot of the issues youre haveing and was starting to have behavioral issues at hime even. As soon as i moved her to a different school district everything changed for the better!

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So get her tested. Here schools cannot diagnose children. She may in fact have an issue. To ignore it just sets her up for failure.

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This is what public school does, burns that inner light right out. Super early.

Look into distance Ed/homeschooling. School trauma is real and hard.

You could always try open enrollment to another district but if both schools are saying she has a hard time staying on task, she probably is. You need to have her evaluated by a professional and see what they say.

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Reading this she sounds like a lot of the kids that were gifted. They were bored and subsequently just didn’t bother with the work. So getting tested might be good either way.

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504 plan is for behavior issues not ADHD. If you get her in an IEP ( ADHD) she will be protected under federal laws and will receive so much more help. Learn your rights and use them against the school if you have to. It will end their behavior. Also look up your school districts student state advocate (free) they help with communication between parent and school and help iron out any kinks.

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She may be bored. She may need to be more challenged

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so sad for her she seems very smart

As a former gifted child i reccommend doing at home work for the subjects she is currently studying and getting her tested for gifted. They tried to label me with adhd and i was just bored because i understood everything

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Continue to be your daughter’s advocate … with 504 plan or IEP she should be getting accommodations that suit her needs (i.e. having add or adhd/ not sitting still etc.) thru the school … ask for meetings everytime it is necessary… I’ve got 2 kids with accommodations… even have school psychologist and specialist working with them… you can also get an outside therapist involved… keep after it and someone will listen eventually… you got this Mom!!

Your little girl might just be bored. My son had the same problem with 2 of his teachers. 1st and 2nd grade were tough on him. His 2nd grade teacher didn’t like him because he was fidgety and had trouble focusing, so she told us to get him tested for adhd. We said absolutely not and good thing because it turns out our boy was BORED. He’s been passing with flying colors and is now a very smart 5th grader in the gifted program. And the teacher that suggested the testing…she retired the following year. Some people should not be teachers.

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My 3 children attended 3 separate schools, each to fit specific learning styles. Thinking a small private school may help elevate her talents and self esteem. Had one daughter that graduated with 12 in her class. She was a state winning softball pitcher and graduated with honors. The school just was able to provide more one on one attention. The kids had their ups and downs as they grew through the toughest stages in life. But by hs graduation they were a family. There will always be challenges and being their biggest advocate and cheerleader will in the end prove priceless. Let me say where I live, at the time, this small school was not costly. My son went to a large public school, had a few close friends , did not graduate with honors or top 10%. Today he is an attorney for the state he lives in. My youngest daughter ended up attending 4 different schools and finished her senior year online. Follow your mommy gut! Good luck

Being a single mom with no outside support must be hard . Try not to take the “ teachers concerns as a personal attack . I would def get her evaluated now that she is young and has plenty years of school left in her . Also if u feel the bad “ energy “ from the previous teacher incident that can also be reflecting on ur kid as well . Kids absorb it all as you know . If a school change is possible I would shoot for that . Good luck mom you girls got this !

Severe anxiety. Sounds almost EXACTLY what my baby went through. He was also depressed too, but learning about and to cope with the anxiety was the answer. Do NOT give up on the 504, he had one too, just readjust it. Talk to HER. She can tell you what’s wrong. But it’s up to y’all to try and decipher. It’s hard, but you can do it. He was so anxiety all the time he couldn’t slow his kind to focus and he had bursts of energy coming out. A fidget spinner and being allowed to walk the hall for a quick drink when asked did wonders. Also, they were required to report to me what his work was, if he didn’t complete it or got a bad grade, to be excused to go talk to his person (his fave staff…this was prearranged) when he was feeling “off”, and we communicated like crazy. After years of therapy and some medication, along with working together and being consistent and persistent, my baby is doing quite alright. Don’t give up, and feel free to message me if you have any questions or just need advice on a situation. We went through many of them.

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there’s so much more to adhd/add than one realizes. my daughter is diagnosed with mild intellectual disability and that was a hard pill to chew. my daughter has a disability… but I see characteristics of adhd with her as well. I would look at all avenues to help her and don’t cross anything out

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Special education testing for an IEP, which she can qualify for with ADHD will give her extra help and assistance needed. You can also ask for in the 504 or IEP for unfinished homework be sent home.

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She sounds like ADD get her tested. Shes smart and bored

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I have 2 kids with ADHD… One Hyper type… One combined type… It is definitely worth having her seen by a neurologist & having her tested… I had to do it when my sons were in 2nd grade… Don’t rule out an IEP with smaller classes… it really can help but the goal would be to hopefully transition to regular classroom with co teacher… You need to fight for her… but you need to know what her issues are first… get her tested… get an advocate to help with the school…

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Bless your heart . Reading your post as a mom of adult kids , I realized that possibly your daughter could have ADD . I have one child that has it . I never medicated him and regret it so much . However , your child must be tested to figure out if she has it or not . No one can diagnose her that isn’t a physician. Struggling in school is so hard on kids . My son even has had a difficult time in college too . Just saying , it’s something you might wanna check into . My son had amazing teachers all the way through school and was never labeled by anyone . I am so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through . Don’t give up ! Ever !

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Stop with public school and homeschool? Theirs programs online and even places she can go if your at wrk during school.

And I just have to say- staying on task us a bit hard if theirs bullies in her school.

Maybe you should try some over the counter vitamins that help with focus. You can get them at Walmart or GNC. All natural and perfectly safe. You may not notice the lack of focus at home because there aren’t as many distractions going on around her. In a classroom there are many. Kids outside the class, even small noises or movements.
My son had trouble focusing. He was labeled a bad kid because of it. If he was in a room by himself he was perfectly fine and got all his work done. Huge classroom with 30 kids and it was chaos and nothing got done.

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As. A former teacher with a masters in Learning Disabilities, it doe sound she has ADD. Many girls have ADD without the hyperactivity. As others have said, having her evaluated will help. It also sounds like she may not be challenged enough. An evaluation will also tell you if she is “gifted” and needs to be in program for gifted children

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First of all move her from that school then get her an assessment for adhd, she might just have a short attention span my daughter daydreams away at times or else gives 110%.

I went through hell with 2 of my kids. Both of those kids are learning at home now. 1 likely has dyslexia but has nearly caught up to grade level. She was just being pushed along as many kids are. I highly suggest trying to homeschool or look into k12. Some kids are just great at school. I have an older daughter who has always just naturally done well, but some kids don’t fit into the little box that public schools design. Some kids need more help in one subject, less in another. They need to move at their own pace. It’s obviously not always an option but it can be very beneficial for a child that struggles

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. I know it’s not nice to have anybody suggest your child may have adhd or anything else, I’m not saying that the teachers are right obviously you know your daughter, but adhd can present differently in girls than boys, my daughters experience at school sounds very similar to your daughters, only it was me who suspected adhd, I was told no way, she’s such a good calm bright little girl, she just daydreams and needs to stay on task, that want on from year 1 to year 5, she became anxious, low self asyeem from being told off, and losing her play times every day from not finishing her work, other kids telling her she’s slow, I was at the doctors with her because she was getting tummy ach and head ache and I was told its school related, the school didn’t khow what to do with her, she was too bright to go in the groups, but she couldn’t be in the main lessons because she was too slow and couldn’t keep up, at10 she was finally diagnosed with adhd and asd. I would advise you to listen to the teachers and have her assessed, I know it’s not nice to have somebody tell you that they think your child has something, but they won’t say it unless they think it and it won’t be said to upset or anything x

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Try homeschooling. I had some teachers like that, and I didnt really like school in the first place because the school system sucked. I ended doing online schooling (still went to school just different building different teachers) and it helped a lot. I have my 4yr old in online and she’s doing fantastic too. It may be something to try with her.

Get her tested through your dr and go from there, it may or may not be an underlying issue.

Is there a homeschooling community where you live? The school sound awful!

Look into rti programs at school, she just may have a hard time focusing. My daughter did, that program along with Vyvanse helped tremendously. She isn’t diagnosed with anything specific but she is a completely different student now and enjoys school.

Homeschool her, the hell with public schools

You can request an outside evaluation by law depending on the state. The school has to pay for an outside evaluation with someone that doesn’t work for the school but contractors with them. They are the ones that can diagnose your kid with things the school can’t. I did it with one of my kids. They said her anxiety test was not bad from what they could see. Request the outside evaluation and came back with extreme anxiety which is what we thought she had but the school kept saying she didn’t. Schools evaluation was thrown out and they had to go off the one from the outside evaluation. Remove her to home school if thing’s don’t get better or a different school district

Pull her out of that school
They have already had too much time to make her feel like lesss

Remove Her and relocate to another school!

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Pull her out girl! You can homeschool her and still give her socialization with kids her age. They have so many programs for that…I’m so sorry you have had to go through this as her mom, and I’m even more sorry that baby had to endure any of that. K-12 has a great homeschool program, it costs nothing and is fantastic! Good luck!

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Pull her out momma💕… Try a charter school… best thing we ever did for our littles.

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She may not have ADHD it might be she has the ADD distractsbility. Make them abide by the 504 if it says send home uncompleted work, make the teacher sign off that she saw her packet in her backpack. Definitely talk to Dr about your concerns. Just because they label her ADHD doesn’t mean she is. If you have the abilities and she responds homeschooling might be the way to go. I raised an ADHD child who is now raising 3 diagnosed and 1 that can’t be test until kindergarten. Be your child’s advocate and get her Dr involved. If you don’t get satisfaction, talk to every board member and the superintendent over the school district. My best wishes as it is extremely frustrating to get them to work with you.

I had that problem in school. I didn’t want to stay on task because by the time I had started school my father had taught me to read and write (cursive as well) and all the basics, so I didn’t feel that I had to pay attention. They said I had ADHD, my dad said I needed an ass whooping. He whooped me for being disrespectful to my teachers and a few weeks later they were offering to move me up two grades. CHALLENGE HER, she is probably bored.

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I attended teacher’s college for a short time, and may have some information to help. You have the right to access your child’s student records, and I believe to also omit anything you want from their file. I think one option (to end the labelling) would be to remove any of those judgements from her record, and change her school or change to another school board entirely. You also might want to check out how the Ontario College of Teachers supports parents - there may be some helpful resources on their site (https://www.oct.ca/parents).
If you aren’t in Ontario, then I would advise looking for the board that governs and disciplines educators in your area - they are likely to have resources for parents!

Have her tested just 2 rule it out there is no need in setting ur daughter up 4 failure. If uv already switched schools and shes continuing 2 have problems focusing theres an issue with her. I know as a parent it’s frustrating when things dont go ur way and it seems like the world is against u. U have 2 mention ur concerns 2 her doctor 4 her doctor 2 do anything about it. they are not with ur kid 24 /7 u are and its ur responsibility 2 take the information the school gives u 2 her doctors. If pulling her out of school and homeschooling isnt an option U may need 2 consider that there is an underlying problem and cooperate more with the school. I’m not trying 2 be rude. I wish u all the best.

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Put her in private school

It may be shes to smart and shes bored have her tested both ways

What does your daughter tell you about her school experiences? You never said you talked to her and this is why she says she is having hard time staying focused ?? Maybe her experiences have caused anxiety disorder.

I might be the odd one out but teachers see hundreds of kids, if they have recommended, in multiple ocassions and several different people that she has difficulty, staying on task and have suggested a learning diference might be there then she most likely does learn differently… don’t take it personal or as an attack, pediatricians just see kids for a few minutes at a time, and they normally would want to know teacher input, school teachers spend the whole day with them in a learning environment, TAKE the advice, the worst thing that can happen is that she will have some diagnosis for which by law the school has to provide accomodations, such as small Group testing and instrution, extra time, flexible seating, etc… best thing escenario is that they tell you, you are right.
Sometimes the “label” can help tremendously, even emotionally. Your daughter is growing, her self esteem is fragile, please don’t take the teachers recommendations as a personal attack. Learning differences are OK, they aren’t wrong. We are in a different world than the one us current adults might have grew up on.

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I’m having similar issues with my son and his school and my son does have ADHD but the teachers and staff treat my son different and he deals with bullies alot and I’m getting ready to put my son into a different school

My son had same problem…I ended up homeschooling…get ur kid in counseling now…bullying hurts.

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I was bullied all through school. It hurt, but the one thing that never let me down was my horses. Find her a boarding stable and get her involved with horses. She won’t have to worry about anything else. Horses were and are still my life. They may have put me in the hospital a few times, but they also saved my life.

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Sounds to me like she needs a fresh start somewhere new. Is there any way you can swing private/catholic school? Moving is an option too to be in a new school but that’s big. I know these are exspensive solutions. I just get a sense that the teachers and admins are “done” sadly. Homeschooling, to me, won’t help her socialize and build esteem after all she has already been through

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Put her in something for after school dance karate something !! This will boost her confidence and help her make friends and in a close setting show her how to stay on task the teacher has alot of students and can not give your child the attention she needs this is not their fault it sucks but it is how it is. But in a club or sport she will learn alot and givrr her something positive to look forward too plus you will make friend with the other parents and that will help you be happier and in the long run help her

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I have some what of the same experience with my 9 year old. He is bright but socially awkward and had a hard time staying on task. I outside of the school got him testing and he was diagnosed as Autistic. The original teacher assumed he has ADHD because some of the symptoms are similar. My son doesn’t have any issues learning, he just had a hard time focusing and would become very emotional. I also ended up moving school districts again where they retested him and he got his second diagnosis of ASD. He has difficulties finding friends only because he can be shy or awkward but I never stop letting him know how much he is loved and that other children don’t understand and are maybe not taught about autism. My son does have a 504 but is not in any special Ed classes. He is allowed to see the counselor if he thinks he may be feeling emotional and I always let the teachers know at the beginning of the year. Just remind your baby how much she’s loved :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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There’s nothing wrong with testing her just in case. I know in GA there’s a free online homeschooling program. Does your state have something similar?

Schools sucks these days. My son has a great teacher but he has been getting bullied and picked on for months and the schools solution is to move him??? Um he is not the issue.
As much as I reassure him that he is a great kid it doesn’t seem to change his outlook of he has no friends in school. I have recently pulled him due to a kid threatening to bring a pistol and shoot him and contacted the board and sending a complaint to TEA.
Outside sports has helped him and I think your daughter is struggling with the same thing as my son the social issue. It’s hard to see your kiddo sad due to school and all we want to do is protect them. Dont stay quiet about her not getting help from the counselor if anything look into therapy outside of the school and she has somewhere to freely and safely express herself .

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Get the testing done if they are offering it. She will either test in or test out. If she tests in you will get supports from SPED if she tests out you can then use that information to decide if she needs a fresh start somewhere else. From a mom who’s been there, done that, you must remove your ego from your childs education. It’s not your fault if your child is struggling and you have done everything you can to support them. Just keep looking for new/better resources. Knowledge is power, get the testing done.

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Homeschooling, we do ours through flvs. Life is to short to be dealing with this. My kids are home due to an evil women that calls herself a teacher. She sat my kid at a desk for 8 hours a day and told her she was special. Keeping her away from everyone. She’s currently top of her class, she can’t hold sit for nothing but she gets everything with the sound on.

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Try a diffrent school where you guys can start fresh. Also is a 504 like an IEP? Try spending the day in the class in the back see what’s really going on.

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Homeschool… Or maybe change schools .but just be there for her and let her know You got her back.

So I’m gonna be the odd one out. While I do think the school should step up more and take more of involvement, your daughter seems to need more individual attention then most public schools can give. And while I know as parents we don’t wanna believe our kids are less than perfect, she may very well need testing. She may have something that makes her learning different from other kids. I know it’s not easy to accept, but you may need to ‘entertain’ the idea that something more is going on then what you want to believe. Because as I said unless you could do home school or private to give her the education and individual attention she may need, you may need to just figure out their rules to help her succeed… downfalls of our ‘wondeful’ public education system.
As for bullying try a out of school sport. I did tae-kwon-do as I never really fit in with school activities, and it was my thing. Not the schools, not other kids, mine and helped so much! Also counseling possibly outside the school? Just a couple options to help her develop her own self-confidence.

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Charter schools, independent study programs, online schools, or homeschool would be my suggestions. The entire school system is broken. I will never put my kids back in that awful setting. Keep fighting, it will be worth it in the end. Try everything and anything until you find what is right for her. The system makes it difficult and will always make you feel bad and blame you and your daughter for everything. Ignore them, focus on her and don’t stop. You got this!

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Call legal aid. If they’re not following the 504 plan. Call children services as well in your area and ask them about this. By law they have to follow through with the 504 plan to the letter and they have to let you know when they want to switch up the plan to something else that will benefit your child document every single thing.

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In order to write a 504 you have to provide documentation of a medical diagnosis. Who diagnosed your daughter with ADHD? I will also say that sending work home to be completed is not a modification on a 504.

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Kinda sounds similar to what I deal with…district pissed because you didn’t let them get away with stuff and cost someone a job…now they want your child on 504 or iep because the school district gets money for every child that has one! And you said they are not even doing things that have been agreed on with the 504… nail them! I bought this book and it literally tells you everything you need to know and do with iep and 504s school hates that I’m now knowledgeable with what they are supposed to be doing lol
Get em for your baby!

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Look into school choice

I could write a book on this! :exploding_head::face_with_symbols_over_mouth: I’m the mother of a struggling student, an elementary teacher, a reading specialist (because of my struggling student), and was an Instructional Coach for 4 years. My kiddo is in 10th grade now and we cannot wait until the day he graduates.
First of all, no school can tell you your child has ADHD. It’s illegal and you could sue them for saying that. Second, I tried to medicate my son in 7th grade because we were all so exhausted from fighting with the teachers, counselors, administrators, and him with schoolwork and grades. It was the worst experience of our lives! He turned violently angry and suicidal within 2-3 days! It gave me a new found appreciation and compassion for the little angry children at school.
My best advice is either homeschool or bug the ever living crap out of the school until they do what’s right for your child! Get an advocate to fight with you. I’d get her tested for an IEP, but that does not mean the teachers are actually going to follow it. I pissed my son’s sped teacher off this year. She finally reached out to me after silence for several months after my reply to her comments at parent teacher conference this fall when she told me my child was just lazy. I freaking snapped! 10 years of my baby being mistreated by adults that get paid to teach our children! I feel your pain. My son has been held in for recess, assemblies, parties, and field trips year after year. :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: We all hate school at this house because of the really horrible treatment of kids that struggle and endless hours of homework and tears. I am applaud at the treatment of kids like my son by professional adults!!! Never stop questioning her teachers and never be afraid to say something if you see her being mistreated.

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Chances are your paed isn’t a behavioural paed and also hasn’t observed the behaviours that the school has noticed that you haven’t noticed. I’d still get her checked out, lack of focus and low social skills/hard to connect to peers and teachers is very common with ADHD/ASD. I’m not saying she has either but you can’t say she doesn’t either if you’re just going to stand high on your pedestal and blame the school for your child’s struggles without getting professional opinions first…

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Have you tried montessori school, its a lot more 1 on 1 and small groups. I do think getting her tested would help. When I was in 2nd grade I tested adhd and dyslexic, once tht was figured out and the teaching style was changed it helped me a lot.

A 504 is equipment or breaks she needs an iep is designed for a para to stay with her to help her stay on track its her own 1-1. They dont tell you this a 504 the school gets paid an iep the school pays. Get her on an iep

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Have you looked into virtual schooling? Its not for everyone but it would get her out of that environment and give her a chance to try something new

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My son had a similar problem. He was labeled as “that kid”, bored with his classes, etc. I pulled him from a brick-and-mortar school and he does all online classes (it’s not homeschooling - he will get an actual diploma and it’s state certified curriculum). The staff has been EXCEPTIONAL. He is passing all classes for the first time since 4th grade. He still gets to socialize outside of schoolwork and is all around more successful. If you have the option, it may be worth looking at. Our school even provides laptops.

ADHD is not just a label. Please try to remember that your pediatrician only spends a few minutes at best each visit with your child. They actually rely on school administrators and parents to look for signs indicating ADD or ADHD. It is not just a label. I have two children one with ADHD and one with ADD and of course they are very intelligent children as most are, but both have a difficult time staying on task and my son (ADHD) gets too hyper and struggles to calm down in situations where it’s important for him to do so. 504 plans are only beneficial to children when parents and teachers are on the same page. No offense, but it sounds to me like you need to spend more time listening to the teachers concerns rather than being defensive.

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Just know you are not alone!! My son is in 8th grade. His grades have significantly fallen from the first to second 9 weeks. I was told he is not failing so we can’t help him. Why wait until it is that bad?!! I have fought with the school since he was in kindergarten. He has an IEP, but no one at the school follows It. It does not get better the older they get! Good luck!

I would be inclined to see her Dr and ask for a referral for testing. While it may not appear she has adhd she is struggling somewhere it maybe another difficulty she is having and she may need help with. Best of luck

I believe step up just open enrollment up. You might qualify for tuition assistance (It’s almost the whole amount) at private school. So sorry your daughter experiencing this.

Look into the ADHD. Your daughter sounds like me as a kiddo–very intelligent, but a bit of a “head-in-the-clouds,” kind of girl. Growing up, my mom never thought I had ADHD because I could sit and read a book for HOURS on end, which doesn’t sound like your typical kid with ADHD, but I am learning SOOO much more about ADHD now as an adult because I have a child with it, and I’m finding that I very well could have ADHD myself. My being able to sit and read a book for hours was me HYPER-focusing on the book—because my parents would damn near have to yell to get my attention from the book. I also excelled at anything I enjoyed, but if I didn’t find it to be fulfilling, it wouldn’t hold my attention, so I’d never get it done.

Anyway, all that to say, at least look into it. The worst that will happen is that you spent a few hours looking into ways to better support your daughter. Best case scenario, you find out what it is that your daughter really needs from you for her to best excel in life. :heart:

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Sometimes educators see things we as parents miss or just chalk up to its who they are . I would approach it calmly and educate yourself fully on what needs to be done . Did you say she switched schools and is falling into the same pattern ? Have you talked to your pediatrician? If you don’t bring this up they can’t help with it during the few minutes they are present during a wellness check .

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Could the work that your child get not be challenging enough. My nephew would get bored in class and get in trouble but his class work was not keeping him challenged and he would get bored. Once that was realized his teacher would give him work that was a little harder then what he was getting and he did better. Maybe your child could be a little more advanced then the rest

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So in curious do you all just pull your kids out the second a school suggests that adhd may be the cause. Like I didnt know adhd was that bad and that’s what I’m getting from all these comments. Everything she describes about her daughter is text book adhd. Theres nothing wrong with that and yall make it seem like it’s the end of the world or oh no not my child. Theres no way in hell all these schools are to get all of your kids. Kids behave differently amounf their peer and in school, some of you dont accept that and just go right to homeschool which I believe in my personal opinion is setting them up for more social anxiety and lack there of social skills as the grow. But that’s just my opinion, from it seems like is the second you hear something you dont like, its go after the school.

I went thru almost the same thing since my middle daughter was in pre-k she was labeled that kid and everything was her fault when she was getting bullied. She would beg me not to send her to the school and I was up there every damn day. It all came to a halt when I was in the little waiting room. And was pissed after my daughter told me she got smacked in the face and nothing was done about it and i told them i was guess I’m just going to have to call my lawyer to get this fixed. Which I didnt. And then the school got a new principal and he is the best. She does have an iep because she was having trouble with reading and her grades were bad. Couldn’t stay on track and all that. But now she’s doing great. Threaten with a lawyer. The 504 plan there should be a number you can call and let them know/get help with them not following the agreement

This is worth a read for both of you.

It sounds like your child’s learning style is different from what her current environment is providing for her. My daughter has ADHD and, while it’s not a bad thing, it does make it hard for her to focus in school. She’s one of the smartest kids in her class but she can’t sit still and constantly interrupts. If I were in your shoes, I would have the testing done. The best thing you can do is find her a learning environment that she thrives in. That may look something like: a more 1-on-1 learning environment, Montessori schooling, counseling for ADHD, etc. Extracurricular activities outside of school may even help if she’s struggling with bullying.

If your child has already switched schools and is having the same problems as before, it may be time for you to put your feelings aside and try to understand where the teachers are coming from.

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Add is no longer a thing (according to my pediatrician) it’s all classified under adhd even if they are not hyper… She may have adhd. I didn’t think my daughter did either because she wasn’t hyper but it affects everyone differently. I had my daughter test out a few different types of adhd meds and the short term low dose worked the best… It works just long enough for her to stay focused at school… My daughter took it in the third grade but she doesn’t take it anymore this year ( she’s been focusing well on her own)(4th grade) she also may have social anxiety, and if so it will forever hold her back and make it even harder cause she will constantly be wondering what everyone else is thinking of her or saying about her behind her back then on school. If the school counselor doesn’t help, ask your pediatrician to recommend one… Also, if the schools administration isn’t willing to intervene and help her, just go straight to the school board. Also, make sure she is getting plenty of sleep at night. It really does make a difference.

it seems she may really have adhd… but that doesn’t mean each kid is hyper, it’s old name is ADD for attention deficit disorder meaning her body can sit still but her brain cant stay still unless constantly being told to be on task, and certain situations can make it worse. if you dont want the school to test her then take her to a specialist and have them decide. primary care pediatricians cant always diagnose everything. forget the 504 plan and take the IEP for it. it also protects her in all her school years.

Legally they have to abide by the 504 they know this you have a legal case if they are not. Try having in 504 that she has sit close teacher desk or in a small group with little distractions. Close to teacher desk allows teacher keep an eye on her and get her back on task when need be. It does not sound like a healthy environment or your daughter. Look at a boundary waiver into another district. Explain to them why and push the issue. My son had one bad teacher in 3rd grade I fought with his school the whole time. Finally got him switched and he repeated the grade. The school knows about her calls the teacher gruff but says they can’t fire her. It hurt my son don’t let same happen your daughter.

While it may be a good idea to test for it. She may also just be bored in class, if she’s ahead of the other kids or grasping lessons better she’s getting off topic or unfocused because of being ahead - then getting picked on she started “slacking” to stop the bullying but that probably didn’t help so she distanced herself but that still doesn’t help her want to get back on track.

Finding some work for her that she enjoys at home but really the kids are still going to bully even if admin/teachers get involved.

My daughter struggled really bad in school as well. My daughter was diagnosed as Adhd as well we medicated her in first grade she did better but I held her back a second year of first grade as I just didn’t think she was getting it and I was moving districts when I moved in with my now husband. We had a more stable routine and she stopped taking her meds she was bumping along at school but not excelling. In 5th grade we went to the parent teacher conference the teacher goes she struggles on task i go, i know she adhd she goes SHE DOES?? Teacher said get a note from doctor and we can put her on a 504 plan we did that. Took the school 5 months to get it together (there was a meeting with the principal and teacher as it should’ve been done WAAAAYYYYY faster) my daughter told the doctor she wanted back on her meds as she can’t do the things she enjoys, doctor put her back on meds and she did great finishing out 5th grade even with moving into the online. But this year the 504 planned moved with her into the middle school and she is thriving on honor roll being asked to join national youth honor society and I’ve gotten sent a few emails of teacher sending positive referrals telling me how glad she is in their class and how much of a great leader she is.

I asked my daughter, do you feel like your struggling?? Yes ok what do you want she asked to go to the doctor and get meds and she feels calmer so she can do the things she enjoys. Her doctor is amazing and my now 13 year old personally texts the providers when she is getting low on meds. It works for her.

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I agree with all the posts above while I have 5 kids I have 2 special needs and my son most definitely has adhd and sensory issues but it’s not a label or anything bad to have your child tested for learning disabilities there is nothing wrong with getting her the help she clearly needs IEP ( individual Education Plans) are so much more in depth learning strategies and help for the child the a 504 plan
As parents we don’t want to admit there’s anything wrong with our babies but that’s just our pride showing through I would get her tested through the district could be ADHD or could be just a learning disability and the schools are designed to help those who need it I have 2 kids on IEP did have 3 on it but he “graduated” and is where he needs to be for his age & is super smart he just can’t sit still long enough or focus unless it’s something he is really into.

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You need an educational Advocate immediately to help you deal w this horrible school.

Id move to another city r better state