My daughter is refusing to go to our families Christmas Eve party: What should I do?

My 15 yr old daughter has been having a very hard time over the last three months. She’s struggling with mental health issues but refusing any help. Typically she’s a funny kid that dislikes school but loves to learn. She has a great group of friends as well. She is refusing to go to Christmas Eve tonight with my parents, which would include my brother, his wife, and their two daughters. When I’ve asked my daughter why she doesn’t want to go, she says it’s boring, and no one talks to her. People do talk to her; she simply provides little to keep a conversation going. I know if she doesn’t go tonight my parents will be upset, and truthfully I will be too. I think we all need to do things that we may not like to do, but we deal and move on. I’m tempted to say if she doesn’t go, her gifts from me will be returned. I don’t WANT to do this, but I don’t know what else to do. We literally see family a couple of times a year!


stay home with her, sounds like she needs you.


That’s not a choice. She’s 15. Make her go.


This is me. Always has been. Just now after 28 years of life I have not and am not going anywhere and I am SO relieved. Family outings with extended family always killed my mental status. She doesn’t owe anyone her sanity(I just said this yesterday about myself)


Ehhhh I wouldn’t make mine go just because I know how badly it sucks to struggle with mental health issues and then have to go somewhere you don’t really want to be… there’s probably another reason she doesn’t want to go too? Who knows? Make your own traditions!


Your daughters mental health matters more than a christmas party in my opinion…


I know I sound harsh but she needs to suck it up for a day. Family is compromise and respect. For all that you do for her with her issues she needs to compromise with you. Good luvk


I would make her go.


She may not feel up for being around people, let her do what she needs for her mental health.

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Personally I would probably let her stay home. I hated when my parents made me go see family when I didn’t want to. I also struggled with depression at that age and it only made me feel worse. Sitting out one Christmas is okay but I’d definitely try convincing her to talk to someone/therapist.


Sounds depressed. I wouldn’t force her to go. She needs you and is reaching out the best way she knows how

Respect your daughter and her wishes.


I wouldn’t force her to go and I wouldn’t return her gifts either. She is going through something right now and her mental health is more important then a party.


Sounds like a typical teenager. Don’t give in to the bs. Family is important esp on xmas eve


You can make her go now and then at least you’ll have the memory of her miserable at the holiday party when she avoids spending holidays with you as an adult 🤷


If shes having mental issues y force her to be around anyone… Maybe theres more to it than nobody wanting to talk to her… Taking present back isnt going to make it better either it could actually add to her stress… Maybe you should try some one on one time with her… I would never make any of my kids go around anyone they dont want to go around family or not i always give them a choice and respect there wishes


Sounds like she’s dealing with some depression. Don’t force her- her behavior will be worse. Offer a compromise and say you’ll go make an appearance and if she gets bored or whatever after a couple of hours she can go be alone and play on her phone or something. Explain to your family ahead of time too

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She’s 15. She knows where and when she’s wanted. Take the time and stay home with her. Watch Christmas movies while drinking hot chocolate and making microwave s’mores. Especially if her mental health has declined. She needs your love more than ever right now. She doesn’t need the whole family. She needs mom! When I was 15 I attempted suicide and obviously survived. I also hid it until my birthday this year from my parents how bad my mental health actually is. Don’t go. Stay home. Build a blanket fort! Let her decide what you two can do tonight. Go for a drive with her to see lights. Make it special for her this year.


Would you make her go if she had the flu? If she’s struggling with her mental health then she obviously isn’t feeling well. I wouldn’t make my child go if they weren’t feeling up to it… If you want to go, go just say you can’t stay long and go home to spend quality time with your teenager who’s not going to be around 24/7 much longer.


make her go. and make sure you at least talk to her… find something fun to do as a family there… Christmas is a time about family… give her an extra incentive for going like she can open a small gift when she gets home… give her something for going…