My daughter lied about something in school: How should I handle it?

After school yesterday, my daughter (in kindergarten/ will be 6 in February) was saying she sat out of the gym today, and she’s done that a couple of times. I asked why, and my daughter told me it was because her belly was hurting her. I emailed her gym teacher. I told her what my daughter told me about sitting out of the gym. The gym teacher’s response was that she hasn’t sat out of the gym of complained of a belly ache. I asked my daughter when she was telling me all this about her belly hurting in the gym, “does your belly hurt while in ballet class?” She said no. Idk how the best way of talking to her about this. I just don’t want to flat out say she lied to me, and I don’t 2ant to scare her or belittle her. I’m just not sure how to start the 'talk’s off. Any helpful advice?

8 Likes

I would guess something in gym upset her and she did not tell the teacher but she used the story to explain it. I would ask her to tell you about gym today and get all the info.

1 Like

Take her too your dr my tweens been suffering tummy aches chronically for over Two years there’s many reasons why there tummy’s ache maybe she wants you to go watch her at ballet or nervous anxious

I would assume she’s feeling some type of anxiety or maybe fear, inside herself and she’s expressing by saying her stomach hurts because she doesn’t know how else to relate her feelings 🤷 you can discuss the importance of honesty with her but I think getting to the root of the issue would be most important. Hope this helps.

I would start with ive had belly aches.and say what was hard about exercise today.

Maybe she just don’t like gym or maybe another child said something beforehand could be a number of reasons y she fibbed there is a difference between a fib and and a lie just let her know next time if happens just to be honest

I’d be telling her I talked to the teacher and she said you didn’t sit out of gym or have a belly ache. Ask her why did you lie?

Just tell her str8. You were concerned so you talked to the teacher and she had a different story. Then follow wit, if something or some1 is bothering you I want you to kno you can tell mi. Ppl need to come str8 wit their kids, don’t you want your kids to come to you wit there problems and talk about it, instead let it build up which leads to anxiety and depression from holding it in. From my biggest to my youngest they all kno they can tell mi anything and I will have there backs

This is a hard age for kids. Its possible something about gym class is upsetting or stressing her. U should have a talk with her about gym class and see what she says about it. Ask her what they do and is it fun…things like that. Then u need to explain to her about honesty. tbh it could just be she wants your attention for a bit and a tummy ache gets it. Dont guilt trip her or anything like that. Just a normal conversation

I would find a story about why lying is wrong. Read it to her then talk about why it’s not good to do. Let her decide not to and tell you what’s really going on some day in the future.

Simply tell her you talked to the gym teacher and explain what the teacher said and let the convo go from there

Just simply ask her why she lied.about sitting out of gym class

Some times anxiety can present itself as tummyaches when they’re little. She may be having anxiety about something and this is her way of telling you. I wouldn’t talk to her about lying yet. I’d try to dig deeper to find out what she’s trying to cover up with the lie. Ask her questions about the situation to see what you can find out. Make sure to tell her that she can always talk to you about anything. In my experience, she’ll come clean if you’re patient and caring. Then you’ll have the opportunity to talk to her about the lie then.

14 Likes

My gd, also 5, gets a belly ache when anxious. My guess is that for some reason she gets nervous with gym. I would encourage her to feel free to tell you the truth, especially maybe in particular when worrying about something. Also chat more about gym class at home. What do you think you guys will do tomorrow in gym? What is the most fun, etc? Make it normal, casual, fun school talk at home. I also learned on here that you teach them that there nose turns red when they lie. Now she puts herself by either covering her nose when she lies or asking if her nose is red, lol. Works like a charm!

1 Like

Someone is probably bullying her. Lord protect and bless this child, give this mother peace and expose the problem. Thank you Lord four saving & protecting grace.

6 Likes

It could be her way of telling you that she doesn’t like gym or that she’s uncomfortable in that certain class for some reason. I’d look into it more, and I wouldn’t make it seem like it’s not a big deal because it seems to be for her.

2 Likes

Even at her age I think it’s important that she knows you check up on her. Let her know you were concerned about her tummy ache and wanted to be sure the teacher was aware of it But, when you talked to the teacher she didn’t know anything about it. Let her know if her tummy hurts she needs to tell the teacher. Then I would ask her to explain. You don’t want her believing she can get away with lying and this way you’re not confronting her.

9 Likes

Maybe tell her the story about the little boy who cried Wolf way too often. And then when the wolf really showed up nobody believed him. I think it’s age-appropriate.

3 Likes

Let it go, they will tell you things that are exaggerated or simply not true esp regarding spats with friends. Just listen. Intervene when you see a big problem

1 Like

Sometimes you have to use the words “you lied to me, and that’s wrong”. It doesn’t have to be said in a mean or cruel way and can be followed with understanding and empathy.
Too much now in society we pussy foot around because we worry what may effect them or hurt their feelings but in the mean time we aren’t teaching them valuable lessons.
When I caught my son in a lie at that age I sat him down and explained that what he did was a lie, lying is wrong and can hurt people. Also if you lie too much, people will stop believing you even when you’re telling the truth.
I also started reading the Boy Who Cried Wolf.
Since then he hasn’t done it to that extent. He’s done the typical cheeky child find which we all know kids do but he understands the difference now xx

1 Like