My daughter runs to my husband whenever her dad calls: Thoughts?

My daughter hasn’t seen her father in a month and a half due to being on vacation in Florida. I ended up going on a vacation down in Florida a week later then he came down, and he asked me to bring his daughter to him when he has a car, and he can come to see his daughter but instead he rather just FaceTime her but when he FaceTimes her my daughter acts like he’s not even there. She ignores him whenever he talks, and she runs the other way when he calls. Also, the nights that he calls her, she has nightmares, but the nights he doesn’t call, she doesn’t have nightmares … what do I do?

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Take her to a therapist right away!

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This sounds bad! Look into if she was molested…

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The person didnt mention the age of the child…could be many things

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Clearly something is not right. You might need to talk to her and ask her why.

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I think this post is incomplete. No age but by the sound of it definently less than 5 years. So with that said if the child is a toddler they will generally do this with someone that they do not see often they tend to gravitate towards people that they know and show them love. If your issue is that he is an absentee Dad well he is but he is still the father. It is his choice as to what type of father he wants to be. Your responsiblity it to be the mom and if you are blessed to find a partner that treats your child as his own well that is wonderful but you can not eliminate your child’s father from your child’s life because of that. That is your child’s choice not yours. If he is not abusive, puts your child in harms way there is nothing to be done. At least he calls, my children’s father disappeared for over twenty years and then showed up like he was god’s gift to my adult children.

Something is up there. Not saying criminal but bad. My oldest wasnt much older than that and his dad kept not showing up for visits and stuff. My son went went to his step dad and told him he wanted him to b his daddy and he didnt wanna go see is real dad anymore. Just cuz something there and she doesnt want to talk to him doesnt mean its criminal type bad. She may just have her feelings hurt

Does she do it with other people? My 5 year old hates talking to anyone on facetime and will point blank ignore them

Clearly there’s something that bothers her. Honestly depending on how old and how mature she is mentally to understand what’s going on I wouldn’t push her or force her to have a relationship if she doesn’t want to. I’d sit down and have a heart to heart with her to establish where she’s at with how she feels about the situation and go from there.

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The age would help a lot… But i would ask her about her feelings toward her dad clearly something right not going on there

How old is she?
Does she have the attention span to stay focused on a FaceTime call?
Is your husband referred to as dad/daddy because that could be why she runs to him when you say daddy is calling you

I would talk to her about it maybe there is a reason she acts like that

Listen to her. There is a reason she doesnt want to talk to him, there is also a reason she is having nightmares. You are good for not forcing her. People like to say kids cant remember things but they definitely can and they can be shaped by trauma very easily.
Id just sit and try and talk at 3 it can be hard. But you can tell if a child is scared. Ask her what scares her. Is she able to tell you about the nightmares? My 3yo can now and my 5yo did as well at that age. .
Just a thought im so sorry you and her are going through this but be difficult.

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Also how can someone think this is funny? No way at all can this be taken as humor or a joke.

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3 year olds dont care about phone calls. I think you might be looking too far into the nightmare thing.

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She runs to your husband bc she wants a father figure.

So, is dad around or does he come and go and isn’t really consistent? That could play a part. Also, do you and him have issues? Has she possibly overheard what you’ve said about him? These can play factors too. I would say If it’s a lack of consistency I would let him know “look, she needs you here 100% or not at all because her mental cannot handle it.” He needs to be there and active even when you aren’t together.

Why are you asking strangers on the internet, your all wack, facebook is wack, corona is wack. :expressionless:kids growing up these days with 10 baby daddies etc.

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My son is 7 and talks to his dad 15 minutes once a week. I have to make him talk. When he was younger they didn’t talk at all

People’s voices sound different on the phone. As adults we know this and it doesn’t even register anymore, but a child might not even understand who she is talking to. I used to call my kids every morning from work before my son left for school. Until she was about 4 years old my daughter would not speak to me on the phone, not one single word! There was no shutting her up when I got home from work though.Same when my husband would try to talk to the next kid when he was away for work. Until about 3 years old that kid wanted nothing to do with that phone.