My daughter was removed from my house by CPS and hates me due to my mother: Advice?

So I’m troubled because my daughter was taken away when I was 16 and placed in guardianship with my mom, but my mom is a drug addict alcoholic and hoarder. But the courts granted the guardianship anyway. Long story short, my daughter has lived with my mom for the past 14 years. My mom has told my daughter all of these crazy things about me to the point my daughter wants nothing to do with me. But CPS took her away again. This is not the first time my mom has had my daughter removed from her care; it’s like the 4th or 5th. This last time my mom ran to Vegas so she wouldn’t be caught or at least I think she was in Vegas well she was arrested with my little brother and my daughter and my daughter was transported back to California and putting Polinsky. CPS wants me to do an ICPC and see if my home will be approved to take my daughter in. Now they took my daughter away last year 2018 in August than had to remove her or tried removing her again August of 2019, which was when my mom ran. Last year when I did this, and I had the ICPC come to my home, they told me my home wasn’t big enough. I love my daughter, and I feel traumatized by my mother because she was always abusive towards me. CPS won’t let me terminate my rights because they say that my daughter might need me in the future but my daughters four years from being a legal adult and I don’t see her view on me changing anytime soon I want to be there for her but on the same hand I want to turn and run so far away that I never have to know anything about the situation again. I know CPS was in the wrong to place her with my mom, and I know I’m a good parent because I have her two sisters and her little brother on the way, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this. She hates me because of what my mom has told her, but she wants her sisters in her life. Should I bother with this case since she wants nothing to do with me, or do I let go and let the past be the past?

68 Likes

Check your location for Legal Services. If you think your child is in danger, call CPS to reopen the case.

I mean your daughter is always going to be your daughter. Regardless. And most cases it takes the child a little growing up before they actually do have a change of heart but the age shes at if you don’t try to keep her out of the system her opinion may never change because shes old enough now to know that they wanted you to take her and you said no. Everyone will have their own opinion but i wouldn’t keep her from her siblings because of what your mom did to you and her.

3 Likes

She will come around and see the truth if she wants to you cant force that on her 💁 and if your honest and she finds that out maybe she will have a change of heart otherwise you cant force that on her

2 Likes

Deep down the hate comes from her needing you and you weren’t there…whatever you do do not run the other way…shes allowed to “hate” you shes allowed. To be angry and sad…DO NOT RUN… Stand strong and love her unconditionally even when she pushes you away… Eventually those walls will come down… Good luck

7 Likes

Why was she taken away from you in the first place? And how long have you been trying to get her back?
14 years is a long time and she will be sad to see you raising other children and not her.

1 Like

This is a horrible situation. But the victim here is your daughter. The damage already caused will be amplified if you just “wash your hands of the situation”. No I can not tell you it’s okay to just abandon your oldest because it’s hard. She is your child, your responsibility and it’s your love she is missing. Of course she angry and bitter and hurt. She at the hardest age for girls and from sounds of it, she has been shitted on all her life. You need to step up, take responsibility and love your child unconditionally and let her know she can count on you. Time to step up mom, not time to check out.

Never give up on your child.

6 Likes

I don’t know you however you should definitely do whatever necessary to get her. No matter how she acts or what she says she wants you to b her mom. Her actions r just her way of protecting herself bc she doesn’t want to b hurt by you. Do whatever u need to and stand up for her. No matter that she’s almost legally an adult,she is still a child ,your child that needs love and guidance. It will take time to repair the damage done but she didn’t ask to b here so it’s up to you to deal with whatever u have to. Praying for u. Pls step up for your daughter.

1 Like

Ummm… so good of a mom you want to sign rights away on your kid? Wow!

3 Likes

It will be the hardest choice you need to make and life with… Too sides I see from being on the outside…

  1. do you remember 14 and how much you just wanted to be loved, even if you were pushing away?
  2. if you think she hates you now what do you think turning your back is going to send for a message…

I have had to make some very hard decision these last couple months of my own and everyday I wonder if I made the right one but to know that my kids are happy and healthy I know I did…

If you want to on my to find out more go ahead!!

Show her the real you and show her you want to be her mother. Fight for her! Show her she is important!

Keep fighting for her!

1 Like

Never stop no matter what her age is!

1 Like

Never stop fighting for your child

1 Like

Get her back how you can and move away from that states CPS as soon as you legally can.

Your a mother . You dont get to run away no matter how hard it gets grow up

5 Likes

Never stop fighting for your child. 14 years…she doesn’t even know you. Give her the chance to see for herself. I could never give up on my child, no good mother would.

never give up.she needs to trust you.

1 Like

Love her through her angry stage, show her that she can feel whatever way but that doesn’t change your love for her. Once my daughter had children of her own she understood me differently. We had to do a ton of work on our relationship. She is in her 30’s now, I have 2 beautiful granddaughters. We continued to get better and stronger together. It’s hard. Hang in there. It’s worth it