My ex and I do not have a custody agreement in place and he wants our son 3 days in a row: What should I do?

I have a question I’d like to ask about child custody in Ohio. I just left my ex a day ago. It was a very toxic relationship, he was always yelling and blaming me for everything, but I don’t want to share all the details. I was a stay at home mom and have only ever been away from our three-year-old for a few hours. My ex emailed me today that he would like to have our son for three days next week with two overnights. I know I automatically have custody because we aren’t married. I am not looking to keep our son away from him. My question is what to do right now, with no custody arrangement in place. I don’t want the court to think I’m keeping my son away from him, but I truly feel it will be hard on our son to be away from me three days, especially overnight. His dad works long days, and he is used to being away from him. Nobody but me has ever put him to bed or down for naps. Nobody but me has ever fed him or anything else. His dad was not involved with his daily care when we lived there but did play with him at times when he wasn’t busy. The night I left, he called me an unfit mother, and the police had to come because he wouldn’t allow me to leave with my son. I honestly believe he doesn’t want that many days with our son, but that he is trying to hurt me and trick me into showing I won’t cooperate with him. He could barely tolerate our son for an hour at a time in the past. I wrote back, asking him to consider just daytime visits, but I don’t expect he will respond. In your opinion, what is best for our son and what is best for showing the court I am willing to co-parent? This is all new to me, and I am so devastated I don’t know what to do. Thank you.


If you don’t have a custody agreement in place he doesn’t have to return your child to you and vice versa. You don’t have to go to court, but you do NEED a notarized agreement between the two of you filed with the court.


I believe he should begin with day visits and work up to overnights.


Let him have him. It’s his son too.


File for custody, as of right now if he takes him he dont have to bring him back and he can file for custody and get it before you. Get custody set up then do the visits


You don’t automatically have custody cause you’re not married, it’s his child too. That’s how that works. Get a custody agreement.


NOT just your son…


Tell him you want to see how the child reacts to day visits first, before trying over nights, and when you do start over nights you want to do it one night at first. It shows you aren’t keeping him away from your child, and it shows your concern is the well being of your child. He can’t trap you into looking like you are keeping him away, and it shows you are willing to work with him, while taking baby steps.


I don’t know how old he is but if he is younger the court would be on your side with over night vists and multiple days not happening until kindergarten

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You should get over yourself, his dad is just as important as you, just because you are around more does not mean you are more important. If he wants him 3 days in a row let him. Take time for yourself.


I thought Ohio was one of those “mother gets it all” states.

He’s his father. He deserves equal time. Share 50/50 custody. Simple.


It sucks the first time away from your child. She. Be files for custody he probably will be getting this much time anyway from the court.

Technically you don’t automatically have custody because you aren’t married he has 50% custody just like you do he could come take your son and not bring him back but you could do the same to him that’s why you need a custody order in place

1 you do not automatically have custody bc you aren’t married. 2. Courts are not like they used to be they favor father’s a lot of the time now especially when a woman tries to keep her child from the other parent. 3. Stop treating him like he’s less than you. He deserves equal treatment


No custody agreement = if he has child in his care he doesn’t have to return him to you… I’d talk to a lawyer, file for custody before u let ur ex take your child


I’d get papers first. And if its as bad as you say…what makes you think it wont boil over onto your child.

You might as well get used to it because even after you go to court unless there is. History of abuse they will grant him custody and he will get him overnights so might as well start letting your child adjust to this new change and give dad a chance to step up and be his care giver too


Start with a few hours during the day then after a few weeks let him try to spend one night and slowly ease into it like that that’s what I did with my three year old till we went to court. I also live in Ohio

You need to get a custody agreement. And honestly I find it very hard to believe out of three years no one else has put this kid to sleep or fed him other then you. You sound kinda selfish if you ask me. You’re saying you don’t want to keep him from his son, but everything else your saying is showing otherwise.