My daughter is almost three years old; I have been raising her on my own all but a couple of months. Her father is in prison due to a series of stupid choices that he made. He claims he wants to be there for her, but every time he has been out of jail, he spends time living with me rent free and messing up his life. About two years ago, he went to prison, and my daughter witnessed his probation officer cuffing her father and taking him away. He was put in a halfway house last November, but failed a drug test and got sent back to prison! I am past caring at all about him at this point. My daughter and I make a great team; we are very happy with our two-person family. But I got a phone call yesterday from HIM at the prison (free call, I won’t accept collect calls) saying that he is being released in a little over a month. I am worried, scared, upset, confused, and really lost. We’re are not in a relationship, and I refuse to let him stay with me again. My daughter is my number one priority, and he has proven that having ‘fun’ and being a ‘free spirit’ is his. I have told him that I wouldn’t prevent him from seeing her, but she doesn’t even know who he is! I need advice.
He can live elsewhere.
That’s if ur daughter is number 1
If custody has not been established, get a lawyer and start that process. Try to limit him to supervised visitation until he can prove he can be responsible enough to care for her without supervision. Also, do not let him live with you. Just don’t. Just don’t. Even if you let him spend a night, it will be so hard to get him out of your house. Stay strong!!
Don’t let him tell you No Sad Story
Maybe he should get his life together first. Give it a few months or more to see if he got his shit in order “normal life” and not going to get in trouble and go away again cause it would not be fair for your daughter to get a bond w her dad and he’s gone again. Protection for your kid is #1!
I personally wouldn’t accept him back after being in prison several times. Knowing he had a daughter and still chose to end up in jail isn’t called a father. Don’t let him in to wreck your relationship with your daughter and if you do allow him to see her make sure it’s supervised.
This is a tough one . Thing is regardless of your thoughts about him , your daughter does have the right to know him .
Maybe * supervised visits for only 1-2 hours to start with .
Depending in where you live , they nay have to be court ordered or through mediation & at a neutral place .
Here in Australia there are Children’s Contact Centres where people are directed to go to by the courts .
There are trained people there to supervise the visits.
No he doesn’t wanna be in his daughter’s life, he want a place to crash in for free. Until he’s proven to have his shit together, don’t let him come to mooch u off in the pretense of being a father
I actually am going through the same situation myself, my daughter is 2 and he’s been in prison since she was 8 months old and jail before that for 2 months. I have decided to let him see her whiles he’s doing well and getting help ( counseling) we talk so I can tell if he’s on his bed again. I don’t want to keep her father away from her but it’s a difficult decision to make. You know him so all I can say is listen to your heart. No matter what he chose to make life into the situation it is, do wats best for her! Good luck and hope I helped you in some way best wishes
I wouldn’t let him move in yet. I wouldn’t prevent him from seeing his daughter. Everything is up to you as to how far you’ll let him in your life.
Be cautious and take it slow
Get an attorney & start the process also see if they can have the visits supervised until he can prove he is gonna be responsible also see if they can have him drug tested before every visit… Do NOT let him live with you at all that’s not your responsibility
Get legal aide n if ya ain’t got sole custody I would, n set up visitation not living together free unless you want to go through more ??
Well you writing this already shows us your choice.
You already made it.
You should connect with police, and a womens shelter for these issues. You shoulf change your number, your door locks. And honestly maybe move. He can take his rights to court, until than let him continue to be the screw up and protect your child by not having her around that… Shes old enough to remember things now, why have her scared and unsettled. Move if you have too, or stay with your family or parents etc.
If you like it how it is with just you and your daughter. Let it be. Especially if he’s going in and out of prison, he’s decided he’s going to do what he wants and being a positive male figure for his daughter is obviously not in his agenda. Don’t cave in, stay strong for your daughter
Do not get caught up in His manipulationsmy dear. He has learned manipulation from the masters in prison. With the many things he has been exposed to in prison, I would be very hesitant in allowing him to have any access to your little girl or you might. Be very sorry if you don’t take heed. If he gets supervised visitation IF he is allowed by the courts then an adult person of goid character will oversee the visit for short periods of time and if your little girl does not want to go then listen to her. No he is not to use you for a place to sleep, a place to eat and a place to get money. He chose his situations and therefore in order for him to understand those choices he made were wrong, he must be allowed to learn from the mistakes by building up his own life again. Do not be an enabler. He has been with some tough characters and some of them will also be paroled and soon tour home will be filled with ex cons. Do you realize that you could have your child taken away if you allow him access to her??? I am 74 years old and I tell you things with hope in my heart that you will not be foolish enough to allow him to live with you or have unsupervised access to your little girl. I say this to you with kindness and concern. Peace
For reading my post to you
No, No, No don’t let him in your life or hers. If he cared about her or you he’d have made better choices. Do not make his release easy for him. Do not let him live you with and don’t let him make you feel like you owe him anything.
I would go get full custody based on his being incarcerated and criminal
Let him know he will not live with you but can be part of his daughters life
Maybe visits supervised outside of your household