My ex got mad I was giving away my sons old stuff that I bought: Advice?

My ex and I have a six-year-old son together. We dated for a really short time before I got pregnant with him, and it just didn’t work out. Mostly on my end. There’s no bad blood there. He’s since gotten married and has two more sons with his wife. The first is four, and the other two. They’re not in the best financial place, and I don’t get any child support, which is fine. I care more about him seeing his son, and I make more than both of them. Anyway, he came to pick my son up last week and saw that I had a few trash bags sitting by the back door. He asked me what they were, and I told him I was getting rid of our son’s old toys and that I was giving the clothes to my grandma’s church. He got really mad and asked why the hell I was throwing away perfectly good stuff. Mind you; I bought ALL of those toys and clothes. I just replied that I have no room, he’s outgrown everything, and his birthday is coming up anyway. He tried to grab the bags and said he was going to take them home and give them to his boys. I told him no because he didn’t even ask, and I paid for them, so it’s up to me to figure out what to do with them. I also promised my grandma that she would have the clothes for their clothing drive. We argued about it, and now I’m just annoyed. Am I wrong? I just feel like he can’t demand I give him stuff I paid for, but I also know those are my son’s brothers? What do I do?

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Honestly, knowing he has younger boys i woulda asked him if hed wanted them first but thats me

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I would have ask if he wanted the stuff first but the way he acted is unacceptable. No one gets to demand anything from anyone.

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Id give them to your sons brothers. Those are things those parents simply cant afford. At the end of the day those are your child’s siblings. And even though they are not biologically yours… Your son will see what you do for them. Even if its just handme downs

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You’re not wrong. You dont owe him first dibs. You bought the toys they are yours to do what you want.

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Nah I say he’s in the wrong thinking you owe him that stuff for free! Just because you’re the mother to his child doesn’t mean he can just take anything he needs from you! Don’t have kids if you want afford them🤷🏻‍♀️

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I’d definitely give them to your son’s brother’s, you don’t owe him anything at all by the way I just think for his brothers to have them is lovely :heart:

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You are right 100 percent. They are yours to do with what you want- also knowing they could sure use them I would give them to him for sure

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Wow you clearly have more bad blood than you think you do. You are giving stuff away but your sons half brothers can’t even have your throw aways ? Grow up

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I would have asked him if he wanted them. You said yourself they struggle…but not everyone is considerate of others.

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No your not wrong, he was totally in the wrong to just grab BUT you may not know his whole circumstances, his family might be really struggling and it maybe just over took him, if it was me, I would offer to leave the bags out for him if he wishes to back and say no more about it, id hate to think of kids going without when you could possibly enrich their wee lives :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Either way is not necessarily wrong but I think maybe your son might have liked to have been able to share with his siblings who are by your account less fortunate. You could have told him how much a big brother is an important role model and how he can help them. It’s not about the ex at all and I think you could have used it to really taught your son a lesson for life and made him feel really good about being a caring , giving big brother and if you had other children one day that might have helped you in the long run … just a thought ?

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Taking care of your sons siblings, his family, should be something you want to do and would do.

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Honestly it was on your part . U just said they was not in a good financial place so even though they are not your children they see ur sons brothers etc…It would have been good for u to ask them 1st. It dont matter if u bought them. It was petty to not even consider them. Its for the kids,not him or her.

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Not his stuff not his choice. IMO if he isnt even paying child support he needs to mind his business.

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It’s up to you. You don’t owe him anything and if you already have places for them to go I wouldn’t change that for someone who is rude. He can figure out his own house. Don’t feel bad!

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Girl don’t feel bad! You paid for that stuff. Especially since he doesn’t help you financially at all. It’s your choice. If he can’t support his kids he shouldn’t be having them. They can buy their own stuff.

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U are 100 Right However Knowing They dont have much money and they are ur sons bothers I would Of Gave them to him to help him Out! ur son would of liked him going to his brothers…

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Just give it to his siblings who cares who bought what . And I’m sure you can donate other things to the church .

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If children are in need of clothing. By all means…give them clothing

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