My ex husbands girlfriend will not let him talk to me: Advice?

Sorry for the really long post, but it’s been bothering me for a while now, and I need to get it out. So to start, I have three kids with my ex-husband ( only separated) still married. The kids are 6,4 and 2. It’s been a year as of March, he has a new girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend, and we’re expecting our own little girl in September. The issue is my ex-husband’s girlfriend has told him he’s forbidden from answering my calls unless he has the kids with him, which to me is so dumb because I have the 95% of the time. Anyways I asked him what if something happens, and he told me, “well, I guess you’ll have to text me,” which even then he barely answers. If the kids try and call, he ignores because he said I have to let him know beforehand they want to talk. He never asks to see them. I always have to be the one to ask if they can come over for a few hours, he and his girlfriend have taken the kids overnight 2 or 3 times in the last year, and that was the only times them asking. They’re together 24/7, so he always says he’s busy or can’t take the kids. He’s always at her house an hour from his and will tell me he’ll have to ask her if she wants to come over or else he won’t go home to see the kids. I guess the point of this is, am I in the wrong for disliking her or thinking she has some growing up to do? It’s starting to get really frustrating and I’ve been holding back from saying a lot to him and Her about it .


She def has some growing up to do

First off, from the way it sounds, the two of you are definitely over, so you need to make it official and then set up a custody arrangement. Within those arrangements, these concerns/issues can be brought up and addressed. Until then, there really isn’t much you can do, which sucks.


He’s not talking to you and doesn’t see his children because HE doesn’t want to :woman_shrugging:t4: I seriously doubt it’s all the girlfriend… I’d file for child support if you’re not already getting it and cut communication


No your not wrong for being upset. But it’s his loss, he’s the one missing out on the kids.
However make it official get a divorce set up child support set up visitation. You can always ask your lawyer to add thst there be communication between both parents

Give the kids extra love and attention during this time. Your their number one right now. Just enjoy all the time u can get with them especially since u have one coming soon.

Protect your kids, I wouldn’t want my kids around that type of person

You can’t force him to be involved


Stop blaming her and put it where it belongs… On him


Raise your children in peace. Live your life you’ve started with the present guy. Stop trying to force your ex to be a father. It’s not healthy for any of you.


To me it sounds like your husband couldn’t be bothered with his kids. He’s a adult and can stand his ground with the girlfriend


Sounds like yall need to go to mediation and establish a custody agreement. All of these concerns you have would be discussed during.

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I was in a very similar situation when my ex and I split up and my recommendation is get a lawyer and file for full custody immediately. Because this woman has the potential to wreak major havoc on your life. She is extremely insecure and she will stop at nothing to keep you away even if it means taking kids she doesn’t want away from you.


I would stop all communication with him. Let him call you if he wants to see them. If he is letting her control everything I guess he picked who he would rather be around.


Yeah she needs to grow up. And I wouldn’t chase him around and beg him to be a dad either. Your kids will eventually see the issue and understand it isn’t you. It’s not your responsibility to make sure he sees his children when you are clearly not keeping him from them. It’s his responsibility to call his kids, get his kids, speak to them… and also to speak to you. Yens are parents. And you have to communicate. I’m sorry but, they both sound like they are immature and have growing up to do. And he’s not a man if he can’t put his foot down with her and tell her his kids come first, period. And that it isn’t her decision when he sees them, or contacts them, or their mother about them. :unamused:


I would stop calling and texting. If the kids want to talk to him, just send him a text saying so and leave the ball in his court. If the kids get upset, just tell them daddy loves them but he is really busy and will call when he can.

  1. Get a divorce. 2. Get child support. 3. Raise your kids without him in the picture. He certainly doesn’t want them. I cannot fathom how someone can not want to talk to their own kids.

You need to get a divorce and with a parenting plan in place as soon as possible. It’s his loss, but it looks like him having very little parenting time won’t really be an issue for him. It seems to be what he wants. Move forward and be thankful he’s not causing problems.

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I’m going to be completely honest with you my husband stopped talking to his ex-wife when they split up and I got blamed for it but he really just didn’t want to talk to her he refuses to talk to her on the phone he would only talk to her through email anything that he could bring to court. I’m not sure what your background is the only thing I can tell you is that no one can make him do or not do something the only reason that that’s occurring is because that’s what he wants that’s what he’s allowing that’s what he’s doing.


Personally I would get an legal divorce and establish some sort of custody and child support arrangement.


You are not wrong but I doubt anything you say to him will matter if he is letting her dictate his life. Sounds like he needs to stand up for himself and let her know that if a call comes from your number that it is either your kids or about your kids and he will be answering.

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Get a divorce and custody agreement. Everything is a lot easier when that happens and then you can begin to try and work on co parenting. My ex husband agrees :100: that getting a custody agreement even though we are still great friends and great co parents was the best thing we could ha e done because it leaves alot less to the what if?? Scenarios. Less stress I promise


While she sounds immature, it’s also on your husband. Nobody is “making” him do anything. He’s making the decision as well not to speak to you or see the kids.