My Ex Introduced Our Kids to His New Girlfriend Without My Permission: Advice?

QUESTION:

“Hi, so my ex had his new girlfriend or whatever meet our kids without my permission, and I’m pissed. I want to know how everyone else feels about this anonymously.”

RELATED QUESTION: When should you introduce someone else to your kids?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“This is life from here on out for the rest of your lives as long as you have kids together. He’s going to be with someone else and so are you. If you want him to be civil when you meet someone then you need to do the same for him. As long as she is nice to your children that should be the important thing. I know it’s hard, but you have to be an adult about this. It’s what’s best for your children.”

“He doesn’t need your permission. Unless what he is doing is abuse… you have no control over his parenting when the kids are with him.”

“His relationship is his business. He doesn’t need your permission for his GF to meet YALLS kids. They aren’t just YOUR kids. Mothers need to realize Fathers get a say too. The judge told me that what he does on his time isn’t my business and I think more people need to realize that. If they aren’t being harmed or in danger leave them alone.”

“They are his kids too. He doesn’t need your permission!”

“Why do women always make it seem like they have to have the say-so for everything the ex does with the kids. No! You are both equally parents to those children, and just like you, I’m sure he’s making the best decisions for his kids to keep them out of harm’s way. Their time with daddy is just as important as time with mom. shouldn’t matter who he’s introducing him to or taking them to the movies with. Now when it’s your time to step in is if you feel he is putting your child in neglect or dangerous situation.”

“I feel like you’re a little salty he has moved on and wants to share his happiness with y’all’s children. You should be happy for him and encourage this behavior; after all, he could just spend all his time away from the children and all of it with her. Choose your battles wisely.”

“If it’s a serious relationship then it shouldn’t be a problem. He should still have enough respect to talk with you first but most men don’t. Talk with him and see if you can meet her too. Maybe that will ease your mind. If it’s a random girl I would definitely have an issue with that.”

“Why would you feel he needs your permission?? Willing to bet you don’t get his permission for every person you introduce your kids to. Stop trying to control him and let him have a relationship with his kids.”

“If it bothers you, talk to him about it. Communication is important in co-parenting because it isn’t about you two anymore.”

“I would be mad… It’s a respect thing… Before I introduced my boyfriend to my daughter. I made him meet her father first and he did the same. We both are active in her life and want to know who is around our children. It’s not her being bitter… or maybe it is… the post doesn’t say much. I can only speak from my experience.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

64 Likes

If it bothers you, talk to him about it. Communication is important in co-parenting because it isn’t about you two anymore.

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He doesn’t need your permission. Unless what he is doing is abuse… you have no control over his parenting when the kids are with him.

37 Likes

This is life from here on out for the rest of your lives as long as you have kids together. He’s going to be with someone else and so are you. If you want him to be civil when you meet someone then you need to do the same for him. As long as she is nice to your children that should be the important thing. I know it’s hard, but you have to be an adult about this. It’s what’s best for your children

39 Likes

He doesn’t have to ask you for permission, as long as your child is taken care of then what he does in his home with his time with the child is something you can’t control. That’s the shitty part about co parenting, you can talk to him about meeting her but that’s really it

They are his kids too. He doesn’t need your permission!

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He doesn’t need your permission

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Just because you’re mom doesnt mean that dad needs your permission for things. He is equally a parent.
Would you be pissed if he insisted on you asking his permission? I imagine so.
You’re allowed to feel what you feel but short of punishing your children or involving the court (who might start seeing you like the boy who cried wolf) there’s not a lot of actions you can nor should take at the moment.

Unless you’re concerned about thier well being I would let it go.

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Why did it bother u, did u want to meet her to??

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When I left hubs I didn’t ask permission to date an ass…unless abuse coparent is best all way around

Unfortunately you don’t have a say any more. When I split with me ex, he introduced 9 other lasses in the space of 8 months to my two boys. Then got the with current and got her instantly pregnant. But then it works when you get with someone as he won’t get a say. But I waited months and months before introducing my now fiance to my boys x

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He doesnt need your permission. Hes the other parent and as long as the kids aren’t being harmed he can do whatever on his time with whoever.

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He doesn’t need permission. When kids are with him he is the parent making decisions with/for his kids. If you are upset about it, you can talk to him about it and express your concerns.

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Ex means you can’t make he’s decisions n if he felt it was a good thing to do as a parent that’s his choice

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He is their parent too he has the right to have his girlfriend or friends around his kids.

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He dont need your permission the kids are his too!!!

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He doesn’t need your permission. Get over it.

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Depends on the age of the kids for me . If they under 12 I’d want to meet the new gf first. My kids are in their mid teens and basically have more important things to do other than hang with the parent so as long as the new gf or bf isn’t on the pedo list or on the wrong side of the law the Ex should know better what to bring home to the kids

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He doesn’t need your permission, girlfriend. Sounds like you need to do some growing up though.

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I would be concerned for kids well begin with whoever no matter what…just tell him you want meet her after that you can realex if shes good with kids…if not then well you know what you gotta do…I’ve been in similar boat

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