My ex keeps trying to find his way back into my life: Advice?

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend in January when I found out he had been cheating on me for the last almost year of our relationship. I got my stuff together and moved out relatively quickly, tried to have a “closure” conversation with him, and made it very clear I wasn’t coming back. Unfortunately, I do work with him, so it’s hard to get away from him. I started dating my boyfriend now, two months after my ex and I had split. He’s perfect and everything I would want in a man; however, my ex keeps trying to pop back up in our lives, and I can tell that my current is getting sick and tired of it. My ex has recently started texting my father since I have him blocked on everything, sending him very weird cryptic messages like “I let the evil in, Thank you to your family for trying to save me.” On top of it being weird and intrusive, we are now not getting invited to parties with mutual friends of my ex and my current, because they don’t want any issues to stem from it. I get it, but it’s super aggravating to me because my current has a very proud social life, and he says he doesn’t care as long as he’s with me, but I know there’s going to be a limit there somewhere, as well as I can tell he’s starting to get aggravated that my ex keeps trying to prod his way back in. Should I confront my ex, or should I leave it alone? It’s getting to be a bit unbearable. My current said he would talk to him, but I don’t want him to get in the middle of it. He’s already bothered enough with it without actually intervening.

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Ignore him, find another job if possible. If he continues to harass you then put him in court. You dont need to have a conversation with him again, once was enough and dont have your man stressing over him. And about getting invited to events with mutual friends I wouldn’t go if they and I weren’t close and sounds to me that it’s your co-workers because you both work with the same people because your loyal and close real friends wouldn’t invite him.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex keeps trying to find his way back into my life: Advice?

Have your Dad block your ex. There’s no reason for him to be communicating with your Dad

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Ignore the Ex 100%… he’s feeding off the attention. Talk to your dad and ask him to do so as well… explain the intrusive behavior. It’s truly up to your dad how he handles it but you can ask.
As far as the mutual friends, invite them over. Keep the relationships alive when your ex figures out how to move on.

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I would let the new bf handle it.

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Get a restraining order on him, do not talk to him, that’s what he wants. He sounds crazy.

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I have to move to a different state now

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Talk to him and let him know you will be placing a restraining order on him!

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Restraining order? Don’t know if those apply to texting and Facebook though.

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I would say don’t talk to him at all and get a restraining order with those kind of crazy messages. He does not need to warned about it.

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Your new man should have a little talk with your ex. When they can’t take “no” for an answer stalkers need a reality check.

Trust me. Otherwise go get a protective order but it is not “scary” enough at this point (unless it is and I’m missing something)

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Have yourself and any other family member state that you do not want to have any communication with him again. Then get a restraining order if he doesn’t accept that boundary with proof that you said that and proof he didn’t comply.

You and your new man might need to cuss the fuck out of him for him to finally get him to leave you alone. And if that doesn’t work get a restraining order and a new job OR get him fired.

Start by getting a new job, then ditch friends who wont chill with you and your new boo. Actively try and find new friends not connected to the ex as well. Or maybe take a cooking class or yoga class some couple thing together instead of partying with mutual friends of exes . All these ties to your ex are huge red flags for your new bf and if you really want to be with him you shouldn’t put him in doubt because you’re letting yourself be bullied and manipulated by your ex.

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I had to get a Personal Protective Order on my ex bf and his friends and started searching for different friends.

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You still work with him?

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A cheater will always be a cheater because they fear that you might cheat on them. Let him go.
:two_hearts::monkey::open_hands::skull::two_hearts:

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Go get a order of protection since he won’t leave u alone. That’s called harassment

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Tell him to take a hike

Retraining order …be safe please

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If you work with him i would be putting in harassment calm in at work saying how he is harassing you & your family

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Those friends are fake if they are not inviting you and your current boyfriend. Find new friends and stay away from ex watch your back same for your boyfriend and start looking for a new job. All the best;stay safe.

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Sounds like stalking. Contact the police.

Find a new job. It should help the new boyfriend be less bothered. The guy isn’t around you all the time making you upset and the new boyfriend doesn’t feel threatened by it. As for your dad he needs to tell him that if he wants to text him it needs to be about current or new things. The past is the past and it should stay there

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Talk to your ex if he doesn’t back off you need a stalking order

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Move job… start a fresh.

If he’s harassing people then they need to file against him. You keep ignoring him unless it’s actively involving both of you at work. If he starts using work to harass you go straight to HR.

I would tell him back off and that you’re happy with your current man. Don’t have you’re man do it, this isn’t his issue. Be stern. Tell him there’s no chance and to stop contacting you and your family. Ask to be on different shifts at work or get a new job.

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I’ve found matching or over doing their crazy with your crazy works relatively well

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But he isn’t just going to go away. Someone has to intervene

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I think you need a new job… :flushed::thought_balloon: Break all ties and connections with this ex and definitely keep him blocked! Maybe he will eventually get bored when he doesn’t see you daily? Bit sad for him that he can’t move on and just leave you and your new guy alone… Guess he just can’t stand to see you’ve moved on and are happy now, but he chose to cheat on you so you owe him nothing now! I’d get your family to block him too as soon as possible and try to find ways to be social where the ex can be avoided. There must be friends you can see that aren’t part of the same social circle… If he carries on then it’s restraining order time I think! :confused: If he’s doing it at work too, make sure you tell HR as well. You don’t have to stand for that kind of stalkerish behaviour!

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Can you change jobs? If you work together how can a restraining order work? Your dad should block him.

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Ex and current have mutual friends? That’s probably part of issue ijs

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Um…make some boundaries?? And what shitty friends…If need be get a protective order.

If this doesnt scream the show “you” idk what does. Cause thats weird as hell.

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Tell your family to cut all contact with your ex

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Why didn’t you get a new job when you left him? I mean that right there sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And if he doesn’t stop, I would file a restraining order against him. So sorry you gotta deal with this :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Don’t talk to him bc you will give him what he wants.

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Slap a restraining order on him. That way he can’t contact you, ur family and ur current. And be careful. Good luck

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You can try talking to him. Chances are though that he’s just trying to get under your skin. By talking to him you’re confirming his success. I’d get a restraining order. It is harassment. I’d also ask to get my job changed in someway (,shift, department, whatever) do you don’t have to deal with him. Your family & friends should also block him on everything. Becareful. Situations like this can esculate quickly.

He cheated , forget him ! You can be friends, text , call , BUT NO RELATIONSHIP!!! He had his chance and he showed what a worthless jerk he is. Go get on with your life !!!

I don’t get why she should get a new job. Once you break up with someone that should be it. A woman shouldn’t have to change her life because of a man. Get a restraining order, it doesn’t matter if he works at the same place with you they are still valid. Or file complaints with HR to have record. And tell his ass to get another job if he has such a problem working with you.

Stop talking to him or having anything to do with him. You send him mixed signals. If you are done with him, be done. Your s.o. is getting confused as to your and his relationship, from the sound of it, and b.t.w. no one is perfect!

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If you want to hold on to your current, tell your ex to get a life and stay out of yours. Be firm

Move somewhere , get a new job ?

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Report for harassment in work areas and let him know of he doesn’t stop you will talk to the pd about a restraining order.

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I’d let him know harshly to stop everything or u will get a restraining order and tell your family to block him. As for the social seems y’all’s friends made a choice so not much u can do there

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Honestly feeding into it is exactly what he wants. I went through the same thing with my ex. To the point i had to call the cops for harassment cause he was sending me into panic attacks. Once he realized he couldnt get to me or id let my nerves get the best of me he stopped.

He sounds unstable. He is stalking you and any contact with you (work, talking, even if you’re mad or upset with him) he takes that as encouragement. I had an ex like that, he was poison, he played the victim to everyone, my friends and family. It was an nightmare to get rid of him, thank goodness he found someone else. And I got as far away as I could.

Get a new job…keep him blocked. Tell your dad to block him as well. Don’t expect your mutual friends to choose a side…just stay away from the dude.
My older kids dad is very similar. Its annoying as hell… and the ONLY REASON that i have stayed in contact with the jerk is bc we have kids together.
Good luck.

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Listen tell the ex to back off and stay away that he already burnt that bridge. Don’t change your life to avoid him. Simply ignore him don’t acknowledge him if he starts to walk your way change direction. Good luck and God bless.

Find new friends, visit new places. Talk to the authorities about what you can do. They just might talk to him and let him know what he is doing is wrong. Talk to HR at work if you have to.

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Two words.

Restraining. Order.

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I would get a new job and away from the psycho. Tell your family to block him. Be 1000% done.

Go to police department file a communications harassment report. And then get a restraining order against him. When he keeps on afterwards go file arrest warrent. If he still dont get the picture then let your new guy stand his ground show his love and protection for you, and let him beat the brakes off your ex.

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Take out a restraining order that includes your family. That includes all contact if he so much as messages them you can put him in jail. Of it’s to the point you can’t even have a peaceful life he’s pushed it way too far.

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Dude seriously press charges for harrassment/stalking before it gets scary. Get a restraining order or a no contact order.

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He will not stop or slow. It will get worse and he will get dangerous. Stop him before he hurts you or someone you love

Find a new job. Just continue to block and not respond.

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Let your current talk to the ex to let him know, man to man, that he is crossing a line. If it persist, then maybe a restraining order.

Get restraining order and report harassment at work

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Sounds like he’s trying to get you to rise to his bait, ignore him.

Leave your job, have your parents and relatives change their numbers, stay away from him at parties

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Find a new job and get a restraining order!

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Restraining order. You have him blocked, you’re moving on. The only people encouraging him to keep going by engaging with him is your friends and family. Talk to them too.

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I’d let my man handle it…then he knows every time he reaches out he’ll have to deal with him. :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

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I agree with others … get a restraining order

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I think your bf now should talk to him kill him with kindness be his friend invite I’m to things and sounds like you dont want him at all so he’ll get it eventually.don’t change your life cause some guy is bullying you obviously he’s just trying to ruin your relationship he’s jealous…

I would let the current talk to him. Maybe man on man convo will get him to step aside

The cryptic messages to your dad sound a little murder-y to me…
Be careful

Step back and let yo man handle it. Men only understand men. Or get yo dad or brothers to give him the message but you need to stay away its a control move that’ hes doing. My abusive ex did this right before my parents got me away from him fully

Ur with someone else…forbidden fruit! He sees it as a challenge! Order of protection is definitely necessary.

Get a restraining order. Maybe he will take u serious then.

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He’s way past crossing the line, get a restraining order and ask your family to do the same so he can’t contact them anymore

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Ignore him. Tell your family to block and ignore him also.

Start looking for a new job to put distance between you two. Report any and all harassment at work immediately.
Save all messages with his phone number not name showing just incase things escalate.
Maybe have mutual friends set him up with someone else or convince him he’s too good for you.

how annoying! idk what u do for a living but try to transfer to another location. That would have been my first step

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Flip your bitch switch. Tell your ex to stop texting your family. To leave you and ur new b/f alone. That if he dont stop you will file complaint at work and file for restraining order. Tell him he messed up relationship and it’s over. You are never going to be with him again, you have moved on and are done.

Sounds like you may need to get a restraining order on your ex.

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Change jobs. Have your family block him. Find new friends.

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You say:: My current said he would talk to him, but I don’t want him to get in the middle of it. This worries me cause if its over like you say, there should be no issue in keeping your current out of the middle. He needs to be there. Im starting to think your not telling the whole story. Why protect your ex if you truly want him gone. Think about it.

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You need to quit your job if you really like this guy and stay far away from your ex and your right your boyfriend now is only going to take so much why stay with you if he can be with another woman whos unattached sorry not trying to be mean and on top of that you need other friends you cant have anything to do with your ex. And you should be the one to tell your ex to go f off. He needs to hear it from you not some guy. And you have to mean it or your new boyfriend is gonna leave. And then at the very same time your ex and mark my words will become disinterested. He’ll keep bothering you only when your happy and when your alone hell be off sexing someone else. It will keep happening over and over to you untli YOU not anyone else moves on and tells him to go f off.My ex did that shit to me for years and years until one day i cut him the f off and he hurt my kids doing that they hate him now. Im sorry to be blunt hes only doing it because your letting him do it. Again not trying to be mean. Get a new job dont be scared get new friends and start over clean unattached. Good luck

And immediately get an order of protection against him so if he does contact your family or you or tries to hurt you he goes to jail

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I know it sounds harsh but nithing will change unless YOU change it and mean it.

Send him a cease and desist letter if you think its bad enough. But it sounds like he wants a response and of you give it to him it could fuel whatever he’s doing.

He had a lot of opportunities to ask you like a normal human being to just talk to him so he could settle whatever it is that is bothering him. But really you don’t owe him that. You did already try anyways. And He knows why the situation is what it is now.
Sounds like he’s just trying to stay in your life. Its not your fault he’s taking it poorly. He should consider counseling instead of sending your family cryptic messages.

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Document everything. File for a HRO. Get a new job.

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Get a restraining order for ur ex cause he is going to cause alott of interference an u may not know where u can be alone an he may do u something …
Best is a protection order an harassment order for u an ur family

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Block him on every platform, including your phone. Have your family do the same.

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Step up and put ur ex in check. that way ur Current knows for sure it serious plus u don’t want ur Current to kick exes butt even tho it sounds like he deserves it. Unless for some odd reason ur giving the ex mixed signals then I don’t have advice.

You bf needs to kick your ex ass

Get a cease and desist order.

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Let your current deal with it.

I mean, first tell your dad to stop texting your ex and to block him lmao. And second tell your friends that its petty af to not invite you to anything because of your ex, if anything the creep ass ex should stop getting invited. Or find new friends 🤷🏻

Find another job if you can and get a restraining order…he sounds like he has some mental issues.

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Find another job or get a restraining order against him bc it sounds like he is unstable.

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Do not directly contact him. That will only encourage him. Remember one of the most important rules of life: don’t reward bad behavior. He wants to talk to you. Don’t give him what he wants. Document, document, document. Call the police and report the harassment. That’s usually enough. If not it’s time to start looking for resources.

https://victimsofcrime.org/stalking-resource-center/

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Common sense why doesn’t ur family block him ???

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I’d definitely be looking for another job and doing everything possible to get as far away from the ex as you can. Start documenting everything and if it doesn’t stop file for a no contact order based on harassment. Ask your parents to block him and not respond to him in any way. You should do the same. Maybe tell him one more time that it is over and he needs to move on and stop harassing you and then block him on all platforms. If he’s continuing to try and get back with you it’s because he thinks there’s a chance. He needs to know there’s not, it’s over and you will not give in to his bullshit games.

Your ex needs too stop harrassing you and your current immediately. I would try and look into a new job. (I know easier said than done) Are else It will never stop. Not until you are completely isolated from him for as long as it takes for him to move on. Seriously thst kind of behavior is 100% Narcassistic. He will continue as long as he’s able too. So please think about a new job and isolate yourself from him. He will hopefully realize at that Point( hopefully with some therapy and a look into mental health) you are not an option ever again.#beentherejustwannahelp#

Get a new job. Tell your family to block him and or change y’all’s numbers. Cut him completely out.

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