My ex made me seem like a bad mom for having time to myself: Advice?

My husband and I separated back in August of last year. Well, our kids stayed with him due to my work schedule and not wanting to take them out of their school. I have since gotten my own place and have been having them stay the night on my days off. I am currently working two jobs to make ends meet, paying child support and such. Well, I brought up that I’d like to start getting some nights where I drop them back off instead of them staying over so I can either have a 'date night or just some me-time. He made it seem like I would be a horrible mother for doing so. Saying that it wasn’t fair to the boys. Am I a bad mom for wanting just a little time for either myself or trying to meet someone?


Hes just being an ass. EVERY mother needs a break.


No you are not. He is being stupid.


nope. if having a rest or me time helps you recharge and prevents you from having a break down or melt down and to keep ypu sane there is nothing wrong with that. Just dont tell him your personal business anymore. You dont need to explain anything to him. you dont owe him anything.

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40+ years ago. My ex did the same thing! He wanted me to keep our boys Every weekend; from Friday night through Sunday night. It was His way of still trying to control me.

I’d say it depends on how often he has to kids compared to you. Like if he has them 5 days and you only 2 then I could understand why he would be annoyed.


No your not a bad mother every.mother needs a break good grief how r u supposed to move on if your constantly with your kids. Your husband is being unreasonable. You have to decide what days u want your kids with him and stick to it. Joint custody ect. Do u have a lawyer? If not.get one if u can and work out visitation times, good luck


Wait a minute… If the shoes were reversed, would the dad be an ass to request he don’t have his kids on a weekend so he can have him time or go on a date??

If he’s with them 5 nights a week & you only have em over on the weekends then it is pretty selfish. He needs a break too & the kids need their mom. But if you are already seeing them all week or having them stay the night on other nights there’s nothing wrong with taking a night off once in a while.


How many times a week do you have them? You want to now NOT have your kids stay the night bcz you need you time? A date time? That’s touchy! Some sacrifice for our kids. He has custody as it is and you want more you time? Whew. All I can think of is how those kids feel when mom doesn’t want them to stay the night when they probably are so excited to see their mother!


You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first


Thank God you left him he sounds like such an ass

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No you are not a bad mother

I’m all for having personal time but if you only have them some of the time now, not having them to go out on additional days seems somewhat hard on kids that don’t see you all the time now. I’ve been a single parent to kids that are grown now since they were babies and MY time was on scheduled custody days only. I worked full time and for four years went to college. Fun days were limited but I knew that going in. They didn’t ask to be here. We owe them more than date night, sorry.

So…meeting someone new takes precedence over spending more time with your kids? Priorities?


Personally your free nights should be with your kids not for “dates”. Kids should always come first. Seems your work and dates are priority reading this.

I wouldn’t of told him any reason why your not with him any longer so conversations should be kids only n if he ask well your hours are on a standby /on call those days/ nites! You don’t owe him any explanations hunny

Reverse the role and figure out how you would perceive it coming from his end… that’s the only way you will be able to justify this. You’re gonna catch flack from both sides of the coin but you can figure this one out without all of these opinions


She’s not saying she doesn’t want to see her kids she’s asking if it would be ok on the days she has them if instead of staying the night maybe they can go home and she can get a night to relax

It sounds like you already barely have them…now you want them less? Um that speaks for itself I guess