My ex thinks my child should go to school where he lives: Advice?

I had two beautiful children, and then their father and I split up, we had them, and I lived in his town for five years. I moved about 2 hours away to my hometown because financially, I needed to be with my family. The oldest child is starting kindergarten next year, and her dad keeps fighting with me about how she should go to school in his town and not with me. I think it is very important for them to have a relationship with their father, and I am in no way keeping him from seeing them, but I am happy being with my family. My kids love knowing their cousins and grandma here. I just want advice… to see what people think about the situation…


Who ever has primary custody is where the child goes to school.


Do what is best for you.

I think you should stay where you are happy and they can keep a relationship with dad


I think this is more a case of trying to control you


Why would your child go to school where he lives if they don’t live him?
Is he willing to pick up and drop off 5 days a week and leave work in a moment’s notice to pick up if the child is sick or hurt? Is he willing to pack lunches 5 days a week? Do homework ? Etc…
Or are you expected to do all those things AND let the child go to school 2 hrs from you?


I think he feels the same way as you. He would be happy with his kid. I have some friends that divorced and had 3 kids. She moved about the same distance. Last school year he had the three kids during the week and her weekends and this year it switched. It works well for them because they respect that the other parent deserves as much time as the other. But I think she is 100% legal
And 50% school.

Its a different for everyone, and very difficult for some. Currently fighting with my ex over visitation.

My sister is in the same situation. The ex is trying to control her and make her life miserable. He says he wants his girls but then he’s always having his mom or new girlfriends watch the girls. I told my sister to live where she wants within the state since her custody papers states she can’t leave the state for residency. He has to uphold the custody papers not his wants

No way. No way. You will 1000000% regret sending your kid to live with their Dad. Do not do it. No matter how hard, not matter how much he wants, begs, borrows, steals to get them there. What is important is they stay with the mother.


Wherever the support is, and it sounds like it’s near your family.

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Who has better school


Every kid has to go to school. You moved prior to them starting school and he was ok with it. He should’ve thought ahead if he didn’t want to be traveling hours and helped keep you closer. It was supposed to be this way. He can still have a relationship with them no matter where they live. He’s trying to control you and them. Sorry to him but he can move closer then. I could see if they were already established in school. Stay with your family and let the kids have stability. You’re fine.


Stay where you are and put her into a school there.

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I gather you are the custodial parent. If he wants to see more of her, he could move closer. It sounds like your daughter has a lot of support with your extended family. I think you know she would not be better off with him, or with you moving back there. You had economic reasons for the decisions you made. If he wants to pay more child support to negotiate you being closer, let him offer. Then decide.


If you have custody then you make the decision. Period

If they are with you most of the time school days are Monday-Friday he can have them after school on Friday-Sunday… That’s not keeping your children from him! My youngest father I have a custody visitation order that helps our schooling issue we agreed that we both have joint custody child shall live with mother and father have visitation on weekends and when both parties agree and shared holidays. If you feel your children would benefit going to school where you are located then enroll your children where you are dont go against what you think is best you are their mother ! I would consider looking into family court / mediation so it was set in stone and no funny business happens.

Is it joint legal decision or do you have full custody? Is there a current court order in place?

Have you gone through the courts yet? It depends who has sole physical custody. If you do, they will go to school in your hometown. It makes no sense to drive the kids 4 hours each day, 5 days per week, to go to school. That’s ludicrous. If your ex is insinuating that the children come live with him, that is between you and him. If you have not gone through the courts yet, please be prepared to be served with paperwork from a lawyer regarding physical and legal custody of the children (just in case). Does he say why he wants the children to go to school where he lives?

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Your kids are just starting school and need family support close by in case of emergency and whatnot. I personally think you enroll them locally so there with you. If he wants a big roll in there lives he can have weekends, alternate holidays and school vacations. This isn’t about him its about whats best for the kids and thats with you


As a former teacher, you need to enroll them where you are located and your back up is located. They do not have to stop seeing their father. He can still be involved but you have to do what is best for the kids. I taught a child who spent one night with the father and one night with the mother. Father did not feel homework was important so on his night the child never did it. I did not punish the child I instead worked out a way for him to do his work during the day. But it was a hassle for the child because he did not know who to listen to, his mother who wanted him to keep his work up or his father. Who by the way forged my name on a Karate paper saying he did everything he was asked in school.