My family and I have been non-stop arguing: Advice?

Ok, so I have a question. The stress of the covid19 epidemic has put a huge strain on our household like everyone else. My husband and I got into a huge argument over basically nothing. Just frustration over the whole situation. It kinda freaked the kids out, and they were very upset. I tried to talk to them after about how sometimes people get frustrated and argue. Basically, my nine years old said we argue all the time, and it makes him upset. This is upsetting to me for sure. I don’t believe we argue all the time, but I do believe we argue about once a week. How much is harmful to kids? I feel like we do love each other, but the frustration of daily life takes its toll. I was kinda taken back by my kid saying we as argue all the time, but I guess it’s true. This has been going on for years. How much arguing is too much arguing? We are the only couple we know still together after 12 plus years. I just don’t want to damage my kids by making them think yelling and arguing is the norm.

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Sounds like damage has already been done, grow up and argue with your husband in private. My kids have never once seen us fight… ever.

If your child tells you it’s too much, it’s too much. As parents, we have to learn to be adults. If you have the need to argue or do anything that would upset your children, do it away from them. No relationship is perfect, but try to avoid anything that will hurt them. Their feelings matter.

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Stop doing it in front of your kids!!

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Aside from
Quarantine there really is no need to argue in front of kids… just put it on hold and do it when they are at school or out of the house. And just have a discussion, I don’t thing arguing is necessary at all. You can have a difference of opinion about lots of things if you are both honest about your real feelings you may find that you aren’t compatable anymore or that normally it’s a big misunderstand and it’s not about you at all. It’s stress about work or family or obligations etc.

I lived in a home with a lot of arguing, makes for a very stressful living environment for a child as they have no control.

You are delivered from that argumentative

It’s normal for couples to argue often. But do ot in private

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Baby being together 12 plus years really dosen’t mean anything if you’re relationship is Toxic to the kids. NO relationship is without its problems, HOWEVER kids should NEVER be put in a situation to deal with ADULT subject matter. Both of you need to STOP arguing in front of the kids.

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Biggest thing I’ve learned is do not what so ever argue in front of the kids! Wait till they go to bed, send them to play outside or in the other room, text it if you have to but kids see, hear, and sense everything even if you think they dont.

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My partner and I have little arguments in front of our son (13 months old, not intentional) and he tries to join in yelling some baby mumble.
Stops our little arguments quick smart, lol.
It doesn’t help in your situation.

Maybe grab the whole family down and get them to share how they feel, what is wrong and then how to fix it.

We argue every single day :joy: We live in California and have been cooped up for weeks.

Arguing is part of every relationship. As much as people say to never argue in front of kids it will likely happen at least once. My belief is if you start an argument in front of your kids resolve it in front of them as well. Even if yalls resolved it alone re-address it with them there. I believe it’s super important to show kids how to appropriately handle conflicts in relationships. That’s how they are going to learn. Best of luck to you mama! Yalls got this!

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Keep your arguing away from the kids. You two have a fight take it to your room. Children shouldn’t have to see their parents argue much less argue all the time. It’s very unhealthy.

I think everyone on end and worried about things out of our control

There’s nothing wrong with kids seeing arguing (assuming it’s not violent and over the top), it’s actually good for them to see their parents AS LONG AS they’re also seeing their parents make up. See you argue then apologize to each other shows them how to handle situations, and normalizes the fact that having big emotions is ok, and sometimes mistakes are made but it’s how they see you overcome those mistakes and handle those big emotions that matters. If you argue in front of them, just make sure you also talk it through and make too

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If your child said that you two argue all the time then that is what ur child is seeing. He could be picking up on little things that even you and your spouse have turned a blind eye too. This happens in relationship all the time and its normal to argue but it really needs to be taken away from the kids. I understand with most places having a stay of home order it will be harder to be away from the kids but go to ur room or go out to your car and talk there. You son is old enough to be inside while u take your disagreement outside. Find a way to make it work. You got this

Why are you arguing around children for a start? :woman_facepalming:

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When your kids notice…its too much

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12 years together you argue at least once a week do the maths the damage has been done .You both need to grow up and start been responsible I’m with my husband 12 years I can’t phantom a life were there’s arguments weekly jesus the poor kids

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One time is two much, it really depends on the chidren, i hope that you and your husband can talk and do something so that the chidren are not hearing or seeing that aruging take place. Remember they repeat what they live and hear.