My family didn't include me when they went through my grandparents things: Just needed to vent

Hi, so a little back story before we get into the real issue here…I moved away from my toxic family seven years ago. I don’t really talk to my parents unless absolutely necessary. I was, however, super close to my dad’s parents. I am adopted, but they never made me feel like I was. They never asked unwanted questions or made me feel weird about being adopted. So I became super close to them…I helped my grandpa in his workshop around the house; he bought me my first saddle for my horse, he just loved me, and I adored him so so much. My grandma taught me how to crochet and make quilts, and I helped her cut and measure her quilting blocks and sat and watched her sew for hours, and we would just talk and talk. Almost two years ago, my grandma passed away, and then a few months later, my grandpa passed as well. I was devastated. I lost the two most important people In my life. The two people who supported me no matter what…it didn’t matter what I did they still supported me and showed me love and compassion. They never held things over my head…if something happened, it was always a live, learn, and then forget and never bring it back up thing. When I tell you I loved these people I loved them with my whole heart…now here is my issue when they passed I never heard about coming and getting things that were special to me…no one called or texted me to tell me to come get what I wanted. All I wanted was her sewing machine and my grandpa’s church shirts to make them into a quilt. That’s legitimately all I wanted. I did did want the money or jewelry or expensive things I didn’t care about those thing. Turns out they had all the other cousins come to the house and pick things except me. One of my cousins who doesn’t do anything with sewing or crafting has her sewing machine and it’s probably just in storage collecting dust. And then they just got rid of my grandpa’s shirts…just like that like that aren’t special or sentimental. They didn’t even call me to see if I wanted anything at all. My dad said my “mom put a few things to the side”…and that’s fine to but I wasn’t included in something that had to do with the 2 most important people in my whole life. Like I never felt I was apart of the family (except when I was with my grandparents) but this just hit a whole new level of yeah you were never apart of the family and they don’t care. I’m sorry this is long and I’m probably being dramatic but I can’t stop crying and I just really needed to vent and get this out. Thanks for taking the time to read it if you made it this far.

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Not dramatic . Just sad. I’ll adopt you

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This is heartbreaking :broken_heart:

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story of my life except i wasnt adopted both my parents are addicts so my grandparents raised me when my gma passed found out my whole family hated and resented me for stuff i got i was more their child then grand child so yes obviously i did . when my gpa passed not only did my own pos father and his sisters get me written out of his will on his death bed no less then when came time to sell house i grew up in and my kids for part of it i never got asked alot of that was mine all i cared about were precious photos of my kids with them etc had to find out from a family member
:rage::rage::rage: they were the only ones who ever made me feel loved and that i actually mattered . sorry just want you to know your not alone :sleepy::heart:

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Remember they are just things. The memories you have are what it is important.

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Hold the memories close. Write your story. The future will appreciate it. It’s therapeutic. :two_hearts:

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I agree. And you have the memories no one else has

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I’m so sorry. Sometimes even wonderful people turn so ugly when there’s anything to be had after a death. It happens so often. Just be glad you’re not like those awful people and got caring, wisdom, lessons and talents from your grandparents that no one can ever take away from you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: Might also be good to talk to a counselor/therapist. Sounds like your parents and younger relatives put you through some stuff. But you survived and will thrive because you are NOT the asshole. Congrats.

I’m sorry that you weren’t included when everyone else was,you will cherish the memories you have of your grandparents in your heart forever.

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I’m so sorry they did that t ok you. I would see what your mom has for you. Put that in your car and then tell her exactly how you feel and walk away. If she wants to talk to you after that let her I wouldn’t make make first move. I hope you can find peace someday.

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So sorry for what you are going through Grandparents are Special they don’t judge :pray::heart:

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Sorry for your loss. Your Grandparents are always with you because you carry them in your heart. The memories you had with them will last a lifetime, till you see them again! :heart::heart::heart:

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I’m sorry for your loss :broken_heart: prayers for condolence and peace for you :pray::heart:

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Very sad, even sadder it happens all the time. God save Humanity!

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This is simply heartbreaking. I am so very sorry :disappointed:. What your family did was selfish and mean . I am deeply sorry for your loss . Maybe offer to buy the sewing machine ( people who are money hungry may fall for that ) . No one , however, can ever take your memories away ! Never !

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I’m sorry for your loss honey. It was very thoughtless of your family to exclude you. Hold onto all the precious memories in your heart of your loving grandparents…those memories can never be taken from you.

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My heart hurts for you. This happens in so many families when someone passes away unfortunately😢 It happened to my husband when his mother passed away. His siblings were left $3,000 each in her will and she left him $100.00 all because her husband was the biological father to his siblings. People are ugly!!

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Sorry for ur loss, but u have something far more valuable than all the rest — ur wonderful loving memories and no one can take that from u. Get a journal and write down all those wonderful memories and u will have them to relive every time u open it!!!

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Very similar situation happened to my husband. He lived with his grandparents his entire life. Then at 30 his “mother”/ grandmother passed. The very same day all his cousins came in before her body was even out the door and went through her things. Taking rings. Bracelets. Bibles. Books. Pictures. Furniture. I’m sure they would’ve taken the bed too if her poor body wasn’t still on it. He stood in the doorway sobbing and just let them pass by with all her personals. To this day he complains. He regrets not stopping them. But he was absolutely in shock and could not comprehend what was happening. I try to reassure him that he does have her. In the best ways. None of the other cousins have memories that have formed him into the beautiful person he is. None of them can make her homemade apple pies. Or gravy. None of them know the trick to a pancake like she did. None of them can recall a time they sat with her and discussed life. None of them can say Remember When Grandma Did Blah Blah Blah. They can only wear the materialistic things that to be honest that woman could careless about. She gave it all up multiple times to clothe, fed and shelter him. They meant nothing to her but they will flaunt it and place the sob story on others when ppl ask Where’d You Get That Pretty Ring? He doesn’t know and nor do you I suppose that they will live through you 100% in everything you do unbeknownst to you. Let them have it. Let them be greedy and feel like they deserve things. Their karma will come. And you will be there rich with happiness!

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