"I never breastfed my 2.5-year-old, just wasn’t in the cards for me. Well, my baby is almost two months, and I’ve been breastfeeding her since day one. How do you deal with judgmental family?
My mom constantly is telling me I need to pump bottles, or I need to cover up even though I am, and I just don’t know how to deal with this.
I tell her that’s it’s my body, and there is nothing sexual about feeding my child, but apparently, it’s offending the men in my family if I do it around them.
What do I even say? I’ve never dealt with this, and I feel like it’s only going to get worse."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Don’t like it, don’t look. I told my family to mind their own tits.”
“Next family meal, give them all a baby blanket and tell them to cover up while they eat, it’s offensive!”
“If you have your own home tell them you’re not gonna see them until they can be an adult.”
They literally cannot see anything unless you’re latching, unlatching. If they are that offended, they don’t need to look. I would honestly have a direct conversation with the man who is likely to influence the other men (and maybe your mom). ‘Mom is saying that you guys are uncomfortable with me feeding the baby. Do you guys feel like it would help you be more comfortable if I answered any questions for you? Or if I give you a 30 seconds heads up that it’s feeding time? It feels like you just need some support like I am needing. So maybe we can figure this out together?’ Direct conversations tend to stop the drama in their footsteps. And if not, don’t go around. When they ask why to refer them back to the conversation you already had."
“If you’re in their home go into a separate bedroom, if they’re at your home tell them to leave that room.”
“Tell the ‘men’ in your family to please leave the room to eat their meals next time, as it’s offending your 2-month-old.”
“I was honestly stressed about feeding in front of people even though I use the two shirt method and you can’t see anything. A few times I’ve been asked if I wanted a blanket and I simply said: ‘No, you can’t see anything and that makes it a hassle.’ I know judgmental families can be hard but I would tell them they don’t need to look. Sounds like everyone is making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re feeding your baby, plain and simple. Just keep doing your thing and if they continue then I’d make it clear you could care less how they feel about something that is completely natural.”
“I would point-blank ask the men why they are uncomfortable. If they tell you, listen, then tell them, ‘I will feed my baby, your niece, etc. when she is hungry. If you get uncomfortable I would suggest leaving the room until she is finished eating.’ Babies naturally breastfeed and I wasn’t able to breastfeed my toddler and I have the opportunity now to make sure my baby girl gets what she needs to thrive. So with that said you can either look the other way, leave the room, or not be around me when she is eating.”
“They can leave if it offends them. You shouldn’t have to hide to feed the baby.”
“Tell them to not look. You keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t let their stupid opinions stop you from doing what you know your baby needs. And honestly, if the “men” in your family don’t have the decency to look away, then that’s on them. Not you. You deserve more respect than that. Don’t give up.”
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