My Family Judges Me for Breastfeeding in Their Presence: Advice?

QUESTION:

"I never breastfed my 2.5-year-old, just wasn’t in the cards for me. Well, my baby is almost two months, and I’ve been breastfeeding her since day one. How do you deal with judgmental family?

My mom constantly is telling me I need to pump bottles, or I need to cover up even though I am, and I just don’t know how to deal with this.

I tell her that’s it’s my body, and there is nothing sexual about feeding my child, but apparently, it’s offending the men in my family if I do it around them.

What do I even say? I’ve never dealt with this, and I feel like it’s only going to get worse."

RELATED QUESTION: My mother-in-law said my child is “slower” than most because he is breastfed: Thoughts?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“Don’t like it, don’t look. I told my family to mind their own tits.”

“Next family meal, give them all a baby blanket and tell them to cover up while they eat, it’s offensive!”

“If you have your own home tell them you’re not gonna see them until they can be an adult.”

They literally cannot see anything unless you’re latching, unlatching. If they are that offended, they don’t need to look. I would honestly have a direct conversation with the man who is likely to influence the other men (and maybe your mom). ‘Mom is saying that you guys are uncomfortable with me feeding the baby. Do you guys feel like it would help you be more comfortable if I answered any questions for you? Or if I give you a 30 seconds heads up that it’s feeding time? It feels like you just need some support like I am needing. So maybe we can figure this out together?’ Direct conversations tend to stop the drama in their footsteps. And if not, don’t go around. When they ask why to refer them back to the conversation you already had."

“If you’re in their home go into a separate bedroom, if they’re at your home tell them to leave that room.”

“Tell the ‘men’ in your family to please leave the room to eat their meals next time, as it’s offending your 2-month-old.”

“I was honestly stressed about feeding in front of people even though I use the two shirt method and you can’t see anything. A few times I’ve been asked if I wanted a blanket and I simply said: ‘No, you can’t see anything and that makes it a hassle.’ I know judgmental families can be hard but I would tell them they don’t need to look. Sounds like everyone is making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re feeding your baby, plain and simple. Just keep doing your thing and if they continue then I’d make it clear you could care less how they feel about something that is completely natural.”

“I would point-blank ask the men why they are uncomfortable. If they tell you, listen, then tell them, ‘I will feed my baby, your niece, etc. when she is hungry. If you get uncomfortable I would suggest leaving the room until she is finished eating.’ Babies naturally breastfeed and I wasn’t able to breastfeed my toddler and I have the opportunity now to make sure my baby girl gets what she needs to thrive. So with that said you can either look the other way, leave the room, or not be around me when she is eating.”

“They can leave if it offends them. You shouldn’t have to hide to feed the baby.”

“Tell them to not look. You keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t let their stupid opinions stop you from doing what you know your baby needs. And honestly, if the “men” in your family don’t have the decency to look away, then that’s on them. Not you. You deserve more respect than that. Don’t give up.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

28 Likes

If you have your own home tell them you’re not gonna see them until they be an adult.

15 Likes

If that’s the way they feel stop going over then … to show them that your not stressing over that and they can stay by them selfs and who ever else they wan to hang out with but your not because you don’t wan to cover up . Screw them

8 Likes

I tell them to F off I’m feeding my child, if they don’t like it you won’t be around :v:t3:

4 Likes

Tell them to F*ck off!!

5 Likes

You tell them to shove it

2 Likes

They can leave if it offends them. You shouldn’t have to hide to feed the baby.

3 Likes

Fuck ALL the way Off…BOOM problems solved

If you’re in their home go into a separate bedroom, if they’re at your home tell them to leave that room.

5 Likes

I would avoid these people and their toxic attitudes what you are doing for your baby is amazing! The health benefits the bonding :heart:

4 Likes

Ignore them. Tell them you want them to be a part of the child’s life but you refuse to listen to a word they say if it hurts your feelings. Then pack your stuff up and LEAVE.

Do not ever let anyone make you feel uncomfortable or the need to ‘cover up’ while feeding your baby! Be proud to breastfeed your baby :baby:t2: Tell then to F off if they don’t like it :roll_eyes:

If you are in your own home tell them to fuck off. If you’re in their home go to a different room. Although their opinions are stupid, it is their home.

Tell them to fuck off and put a blanket over themselves while they’re eating because you find it repulsive to watch. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Do what is best for your baby and you. They are being ignorant.

1 Like

They literally cannot see anything unless you’re latching, unlatching. If they are that offended, they don’t need to look.

I would honestly have a direct conversation with the man who is likely to influence the other men (and maybe your mom). “Mom is saying that you guys are uncomfortable with me feeding the baby. Do you guys feel like it would help you be more comfortable if I answered any questions for you? Or if I give you a 30 seconds heads up that it’s feeding time? It feels like you just need some support, like I am needing. So maybe we can figure this out together?”

Direct conversations tend to stop the drama in its footsteps. And if not, don’t go around. When they ask why, refer them back to the conversation you already had.

7 Likes

Dont like it dont look. I told my family to mind their own tits

1 Like

I breastfed or attempted too with 3 kids. While I agree you are providing nutrition for the child. I also know that not everyone is coftamble with seeing your breasts. It is not a sexual thing. It is about how they were taught about modesty. If you know, they might not like it. Go to another room or cover up. Honestly pumping will allow others like a partner or your mom to feed baby. It will give you a break.

2 Likes

I was honestly stressed about feeding in front of people even though I use the two shirt method and you can’t see anything. A few times I’ve been asked if I wanted a blanket and I simply said “no, you can’t see anything and that makes it a hassle”

I know judgmental family can be hard but I would tell them they don’t need to look. Sounds like everyone is making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. You’re feeding your baby, plain and simple.

Just keep doing your thing and if they continue then I’d make it clear you could care less how they feel about something that is completely natural.

2 Likes

Literally go full frontal in front of them with a baby on each tit & tell them to piss off. They are the issue.