My fiance and I are going to try for a baby after we get married: Did you struggle with feeling ready

Hi, I’m not sure if this is as important as other ones you post; please keep this anonymous if you think it’s okay to post. My question is so forever I’ve wanted to be a mama. I’m 28, engaged to be married in a few months. My fiancé is 33, with a teenage son who lives with us—the best man and best friend I’ve ever known. I asked him the other day after we get married how soon he wants to start trying for a baby, and he said the day after we get married, lol. Now it all feels real! I’ve always talked about kids and want them so badly, but how did you mamas switch your mindset to can’t have kids yet can’t have kids yet to all the sudden holy crap go for it?! I’ve never questioned having kids, but now I have butterflies about it could really happen! Did anyone else have trouble feeling ready even though you know you are?


We never did plan ours, worked for us because we had absolute no issues conceiving! I find people who log etc” or decide to try and agree as such feel so much pressure it just prolongs conceiving and becomes more of a chore because you’re wanting it to happen. Advice would be, relax and go with the flow” all the best :two_hearts:


Enjoy some each other time first. Please. Cuz youll never get it again.

I always wanted kids from the time I was a teenager so for me it wasn’t an issue. It took longer than I wanted tho, 3 yrs. which looking back on it was actually a good thing cuz we, I anyway, was young, only 20 and we no way could have afforded it earlier…

You’re never ready, I’ll be honest.

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If you wait til you’re “ready”, you’ll be waiting forever. There’s always one more reason, if you look for them. If you are financially stable and in a loving relationship, and you both want kids, then go for it! It’s challenging and life-changing, but the it’s best thing you’ll ever do.

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It’s totally normal to have feelings like you might not be ready even if you know you are. It’s a huge life change so it’s not uncommon to get some nerves and jitters.

I was nervous about being ready right up until my son came out. I knew I was ready before I even got pregnant.

Always wanted them… more…like longed. I have endo though so I thought it was not possible so i stopped trying or even feeling ready… I’m now almost 25 weeks at almost 30… I dont feel ready. I dont think anyone really does and panicks.

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I always wanted to be a mother but once I was married I was consumed with thoughts of getting pregnant. Cried every month when I wasn’t pregnant. Got pregnant about six months later and miscarriaged but got pregnant right away. One of my happiest days on earth was the birth of our child. Just go with it. Butterfly is normal.

imo you’re never ready for what life throws at you. If you’re ready you’re ready but being a parent is not perfect 24/7. It’s not like what you see on tv lol. There’s going to be ups n downs. You’re going to need breaks. Do not feel bad for making mistakes cause every single parent has made mistakes one way or another but most will not admit it. Ask for help if you feel overwhelmed.

I wasn’t ready but I wasn’t getting any younger. I stopped birth control pretty much right after we got married. We didn’t “try”. We just lived. And about a year later bam. Once I was pregnant I was so happy! And blessed every since.

I am on my 3rd baby and you never feel ready. I think it is just not knowing too. My first was at 18 and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. But once you feel the flutter or hear the heartbeat you just know everything will be alright.

Having a baby can be a big thing. And scary. But it is also an amazing thing. It’s okay to feel the way you do. Just try to focus on the things that excite you most about it and that you will be creating a human together. It’s not always perfect and sometimes it’s surprising but children are seriously the most amazing thing ever.

We started trying the week we were getting married and due to my husband leaving for boot camp and tech school we didn’t actually get pregnant until 6 months later when he was home on leave. It just happened to line up perfectly. I always say that you’re never really ready for kids, but you will always get there. Even when I got the first positive the two strongest emotions I felt were joy and fear because it was real.

I wanted so bad to have children, and that literally drove my choice to marry the first time. In hindsight, you’re never actually ready for it. Literally nothing you can do to prepare yourself. I wouldn’t worry too much about being “ready” as I would being certain that my partner and I were on the same page about how things should unfold with family dynamics.

Yes. It’s totally normal. It’s a huge life change but even though it’s the hardest job you’ll ever have it’s is the most rewarding and you look back and not know what you would have done without them. I’ve been a mom since I was 17

I don’t think you ever feel totally confident in that decision… but I don’t regret it. I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant 6 weeks after the wedding. Lol

But none of mine were planned

I don’t know if there really is a way. I had butterflies the whole time I was pregnant with my first daughter and was so nervous and excited. She is 1.5 yrs old now and I am 30 weeks pregnant with my second daughter and feel the same way! Just go for it and it will all work out how and when it is supposed! Becoming a mom is the best feeling in thr world thou!

I wasn’t ready when I found out I was pregnant but we got ready :joy::joy: As in terms of house, nursery, and everything the baby needed. And even tho we had it all, no, you’re never really ready to have kids. My only negative thought before thinking of ever having a kid was “am I able to have kids?” I mean you don’t know until you get pregnant. Or don’t :woman_shrugging:t2: