My fiance doesn't clean up after his daughter when she comes over: Advice?

I need some advice. My fiancè & I have been together three years already, engaged 1. His daughter is about to be 4 in Dec, every time we have her, she makes a huge mess, whether it be with toys or food, he doesn’t clean up after her & this has been an ongoing issue. I shouldn’t have to bitch at him to clean up after her or even have him do whatever else he needs to for her! He’d rather be playing his video games or other bs instead of actually spending time with her, she hangs out with me more than him & no, it’s his time. He doesn’t pay attention to his child & our 1 yr old loves being with other kids, she likes to be mean & hit the baby, take things from her, etc. & I do not have it. I get it, he works 12 hrs a day & deserves to have some time to himself & even rest, but it just gets worse all the time & he wants to be a baby about it when I say something to him & he shuts down or just walks away. He has no idea wtf I go through all day long staying stuck home; I hate it! To him, I just have fun all day & I don’t at all. I can’t do anything since my car is messed up & we can’t afford daycare hence my being stuck home. Now he’s so ridiculous that he’s been sleeping on the couch & when he goes to get something to eat he’ll be so petty he’ll come back with nothing for me. Unlike him, I actually have him & the kids on my mind when I go shopping or whatever & ALWAYS get them things they like not to mention I even tell this man how much I love & appreciate him all the time, he doesn’t. Sure he’ll show me love & affection but still, it won’t kill him to actually think of me & tell me nice things. He did it all the time in the beginning & now I barely get an “I love you”. I can’t see myself without this man, but I’m getting to the point where I’m about to be completely done. I’m so upset that I don’t even have an appetite or anything & I’m not the type to be a crybaby, but lately, that’s how I’ve been because of him. Any helpful advice is welcome, tyia.


He’s taking you for granted, have a come to Jesus moment with him, and I think you should be reconsidering getting married.


Sounds like maybe you would rethink this relationship before you get married. I doubt it’s going to get much better. It doesn’t sound like he is going to change. I would tell him that he needs to get his act together ASAP and if not you are done. And if he doesn’t you need to leave.


To be honest I I personally wouldn’t mind cleaning up after my future step child ! That’s just me but if not than try and talk to him and if he doesnt listen make your point known


You want to be with someone like this for the rest of your life? Relationships should make you happy not cry.


Sounds like hes had a life of having everything done for him


But your not his made either


Too late for me to say Don’t have kids with him because this is how it would be. You have to decide if this is the life you want and move accordingly.


The child should be helping you/him clean her messes up. My one year old has to help me clean her mess up so I’m pretty sure a 4 year old should be. He’s going to get food and not bringing you anything back is so selfish and mean. He’s intentionally trying to hurt you. The dude is stuck on his video games, that’s some kid shit. No matter if he works 12 hours a day or not he made that sacrifice when he had kids and got engaged to you. Us parents are always tired but we still have to push it thru

Dont be the person who does it too. Let the shit go for him to see how bad itll get

It sounds like he won’t make good dad/husband material. I would leave if I were you. You deserve better than that


She’s four. She can’t pick up her own toys or “clean” up her food??? I cleaned up after my stepdaughter and our five children myself but at four five etc they’re very capable of cleaning their own mess. May not be perfect but don’t teach her to be lazy and have everyone clean up for her.


He will make a lousy husband


Have an open conversation with him about how you feel. And I’m not saying you stay home and have fun all day, but just like he works 12 hour days and doesn’t have fun at work. Your “job” right now is taking care of the kids and house. Maybe you can have him do one or two tasks either before he goes to work or after he comes home.

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Exactly Becky and Mar Surrey

Sounds like he is showing you how he REALLY is as a father. Everything you mentioned are RED FLAGS… and should be considered seriously before you marry him. Do you REALLY want a life like this? Everyone deserves better. To think it’s to OK to IGNORE your child when they to come visit is WRONG… No matter how much you work. Personally… I would think twice (no matter how much I Loved) before I Married him.


She’s 3. That’s what 3 year olds do… they make messes and they don’t like to clean them up.


I think you know already in your heart he needs to go. Do not marry this man!! It will only get worse.


Lock yourself down when his daughter comes . Stay in the room or go out … make him take care of some of her needs & take the time to get to know his daughter on his own … maybe he needs a reality check . Stop buying him stuff , go out eat !


I would recommend counseling ,esp before getting married …kids make messes ,and it’s not just your job.

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