My fiance is mentally abusive and I want to leave: Adivce?

I have been with my fiancé for six years now, and we have one son together. However, over the last two years, things have been extremely rough with our relationship. The verbal, emotional, and mental abuse I get almost weekly, if not daily. I want to leave, but I am scared that that won’t be the right decision because I want to move back to Texas where I am from with our son just because I have a better support system there, whereas here in Georgia, we have nobody here except one person. I also feel like six years is a long time to just throw in the towel, especially with our son, but I am so drained from dealing with this. Another thing that’s bothering me about this decision is that when I think of him with someone else, it infuriates me because I do love him, but I know I can’t stay in this cycle! Is moving to another state (where I am from) a good idea, or do I stay here and just do it completely on my own.

17 Likes

Staying in an abusive relationship is never healthy I would suggest moving back home where you would have the support of your family

5 Likes

Leave!!! ESPECIALLY since you have a support system to go to! Your child is probably traumatized from seeing the shit his “father” does to you! Do you want your son treating his future wife that way?!!

Leave hate to say but 1 day your son could be looking at you in a casket. Js. Abuse is never good.

2 Likes

Just a hunch…military family? I wear the cape and crown of that! Abuse escalates always! When you can no longer be controlled by verbal, emotional or mental abuse it’s a quick trip to control by finances, home restrictions and into DV! Been through it all. Suggest taking to an attorney for a consult. Find out the process of leaving the state with your child before you make decisions. Find a safe place… A friend he doesn’t know about for emergencies. PM me if you want to chat OP. No judgement. HUGS!

2 Likes

Move. I had to make the same decision. I was in an emotional, verbal & mentally abusive marriage. I had to leave because the abuse wouldn’t stop. I felt like I cut my right arm off when I left. Move it will hurt like hell in the beginning but you will be doing the right thing.

1 Like

Leave for your safety and your child’s. I have never been abused but know people that’s been in those relationships it’s not good so go back home where you have family that loves you. Praying for you

2 Likes

Take it from me and leave. The longer you wait the worse it get. It’s not healthy on you or the child. It’s better to live in 2 happy homes then 1 broken one. He will not change

2 Likes

Leave or your son will believe abusing women is ok because you allow it, not to mention being a happy mom, you’ll be a better mom. Wasting 6 years is better than wasting 7 or more.

2 Likes

It never gets better

1 Like

Make a plan, and decide when. Stick with it and don’t hesitate. No matter the abuse, it does not stop. Staying longer, teaches your child that this type of treatment is acceptable and allowable. Check with state laws concerning parental and child rights. Most importantly, dont be afraid, you’ve already started the process by reaching out for advice. :heart:

3 Likes

Unfortunately u can’t just leave the state with your child if that child is his as well. You have to give him 30 days written notice that your leaving sho he had time to fight it if he wants. If he’s abusive u need to start calling the police each time it happens so the is recorded proof. That will help your case.

2 Likes

Leave now. It never will change.It gets worse. It will make you feel a lot stronger when you leave. From an x-abused woman and mother of 3.

If you leave he may file for custody and GET it. You can’t just pick up and take a child to a different state after long term established residency

2 Likes

Check out your local laws first. Every county is different. Some counties you have to provide him written notice of your intent on removing the child from the county. Some counties have other requirements. Check with a lawyer (not Facebook).
As for staying with him: NO. You are teaching your son it is ok to control abuse and manipulate women to get what he wants. Love doesn’t hurt. You may love him but he sure doesn’t love you. Good luck!

2 Likes

You answered it yourself… it’s time to bounce if in six years he hasn’t changed he’s not gunna :v:t3:

Think of him treating someone ELSE bad, then go.

Go home now. It only ever gets worse. They never change. One more day is to long.

How in the world would it not be the right decision? Abuse isn’t love. Get out before he kills you or your son. Your child is learning from his parents relationship your teaching him the concepts of what respect ,love , healthy communication is etc… do you think hes getting that from your relationship? My answer will be no if my husband ever hit me just once I’d leave for my sake and the sake of my children. They dont need that toxicity in their little innocent lives and you need to be mentally stable for them staying in abuse isnt. I’m sorry if this offends anyone but dont be a victim you are a strong woman get out with your son .

Get out of there no ifs or buts before you end up dead or insane woman .that guy isnt worth a penny