My fiance shuts me down every time I mention having a baby: Advice?

A little back story, my fiance never wanted kids, and I was on birth control when I got pregnant with my son. Our son is almost eight, and he’s a great dad, and our son is always his priority; he loves him very much. We’ve been together 11 years, and lately, I’ve thought that I want another baby. I’ve always wanted two kids, our son keeps asking for a sibling, but every time I bring it up to my fiance, he shuts me down and says he doesn’t want any more kids. I feel like he won’t even hear me out. He is just stuck on what he wants; it just makes me upset that we can’t have a civil discussion about this. I guess I was hoping he would change his mind after we had our son, but it doesn’t seem that way.

185 Likes

You have a reason why he hasnt committed to the union in. 11 years? Maybe thats the answer

10 Likes

I left my husband because he changed his mind on having kids. But happily skipped away with his green card he got off me (assuming this was his whole point in the marriage now)

4 Likes

Just like you he wants his own way. He has the right to have his own decisions.

9 Likes

You knew he didn’t want kids before you got engaged. If you’ve always wanted multiple kids, then this is something you should have considered before agreeing to marry him. You don’t get to upset with him because he’s sticking by what he’s wanted from the beginning.

56 Likes

You answered your question in the very first line. He never wanted kids. I think its wonderful that he stepped up and is a wonderful parent when yall got pregnant but that doesn’t mean that he has changed how he feels. You say he won’t hear you out, but are you listening to him? He wanted none and you wanted two. One sounds like the definition of a compromise but if you have your heart set on a second then maybe you need to evaluate which is more important to you. This relationship or another child

63 Likes

He never wanted kids and you knew that going in.

5 Likes

You knew he never wanted kids. His mind hasn’t changed and it wont. Either except it or move on

4 Likes

Seems like he was pretty honest with you from the start but he should be able to have a convo about it. You have some pretty tough questions to ask yourself, he was pretty clear with you…

3 Likes

He has been honest from the get go. I don’t see how you can be upset with him for being the same person you agreed to marry.

It’s great that he embraced your son, but you’re asking something he was completely clear he never wanted.

Why someone that wants kids ever agrees to be with someone that doesn’t is beyond me
That seems like a pretty big deal breaker.
If you thought he was going to change his mind, that’s on you. :woman_shrugging:

16 Likes

You decided to stay with him when you knew he didn’t want kids. So why would you expect him to want to have kids… doesnt make much sense.

9 Likes

He was honest with you from the start when he told you that he never wanted kids…he compromised with the one you have.

4 Likes

Don’t try and over paint someone’s true colors. If the men ain’t ready don’t force him.

2 Likes

If he never wanted kids and you did that is a HUGE deal breaker. Shouldn’t have even begun the relationship. You got lucky he is actually stepping up for your first child but don’t push for another. That is unfair when you knew how he felt to begin with.

11 Likes

He made it clear to you that he never wanted kids. Suck it up or move on.

3 Likes

You knew he didn’t want kids from the beginning. Just because you had one and he’s a great dad doesn’t mean he changed his mind.

12 Likes

I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to bring another kid into this crazy world either!

1 Like

He never wanted children and you knew that. He’s stepped up with a surprise baby. But how is it fair to force more children upon him and it’s not fair to the kids either.

4 Likes

You knew he didn’t want kids. Why are you shocked that he still doesn’t want kids… if you did,he didn’t, and it was honest from the get go, why are you staying with someone trying to force them to do something they don’t want.

12 Likes

Starting over with a newborn is a daunting idea. I would drop it. Have some wild sex because you can now, without waking up the baby… Your uterus is flexing-ignore her!

7 Likes