My fiance wants more kids but I don't know how I feel: Advice?

Okay, I need some help. My fiance wants to have another baby, but I don’t know how to feel. The back story with our son, I had high blood pressure for three months, and at the end of my pregnancy. I had a scheduled c section with him. Surgery didn’t go wrong at all, and I recovered really well. I’m just scared of getting pregnant again and possibly dealing with the high blood pressure again. I’m really nervous about the surgery also cause this baby will be c section to. What should I do? I don’t want to be selfish and not give my son a sibling, but I’m so scared! Any advice would be appreciated!!


Talk to your fiance about your fears. This question and explanation should be towards him. Good luck!

1 Like

Talk to him and tell him about your fears, maybe over time you will want another but dont leave him in the dark. This is something you should be talking with him about

1 Like

You def need to talk to him. And I absolutely get your fear. I had toxemia with my oldest. 7 days in the hospital. We both came close to death. I was terrified when I got pregnant again. But my second pregnancy was so super easy. No issues at all. One bad experience dosent mean the next one will be as bad.

1 Like

One thing i’ve learned in my 32 years of living is trust your instincts.

1 Like

I agree you should be talking to him about this. I would also like to add that you shouldn’t beat yourself up about your fears. They’re valid, they have merit, they exist, therefore they have impact. Whether he understands and supports them or not, you’re allowed to have and feel your feelings. Also, please don’t call yourself selfish for not wanting more children. You don’t owe anyone in this world another baby whether it’s your fiance or your son, and there would be just as many critics to call you selfish for getting pregnant again and taking a risk with your health that could leave your current child motherless.

It’s impossible to please everyone, love, so the best place to start is by doing what makes you happiest. Not what you feel obligated to do for others. Good luck. :purple_heart:

Your health is more important. If you don’t feel like your body can handle it, he should respect that. You can always adopt another child or get your son a puppy.


Talk to your doctor and see what risks you face. Im sure your fiance is well aware of your health issues from your last pregnancy. If he presses you about it tell him he’s literally risking your life!!! Like wth.

I’d schedule a meeting with your doctor and husband so you both can be there and ask questions and determine the risk…ultimately it is your decision

1 Like

Curious as to why you say that this baby would be a C-section, too. If you think that because you had one with the first baby you will have to have one with the second one that’s simply not true. I had 2 of them and my 3rd child was not. I was not allowed to even try with my second child just a scheduled c-section. I had another doctor with my 3rd and he let me try and I had her naturally in about 4 hours after I got to the hospital.

It sounds like you really don’t want to have another baby.

If your not ready, your not ready. Talk to him express your concerns and that your just not ready. Talk to your Dr about the probability of you having high BP again. Also if you want to try vaginal delivery you can talk to your Dr about that as well. I had 4 babies each pregnancy was different so try not to dwell on what went “wrong”

I had an emergency c section and was put to sleep when having my daughter. I want more children I’m scared if going though another surgery. I think children are worth every pain I go though. My daughter was my rainbow baby before her I miscarried early on. I hope you weigh out your fears and decide to extend your family. Good luck

1 Like

The real question is, what do YOU want?


My first was an emergency c-section. Her heart rate dropped and I was rushed into surgery and put under. With that being said, I had 2 more babies, both via scheduled c-section and they were both different experiences. I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted more babies. You really need to focus on what you want and your fears before making any final decisions.

If he is not considering your health this is a big issue imo. Until fiance is husband, I think it is a wise decision to not have anymore at this time js


No two pregnancies are the same and c-sections aren’t so bad. I had more than one. But ultimately it boils down to what you want as far as more children.

My sister in law has preclamsia and eclampsia over her blood pressure she had miserable pregnancies only 2 cause last one was harder on baby

Do you want more kids tho? Just scared of being pregnant and having complications. It may be best to talk to your doctor about it and see best way to manage it if it happens again.


My first pregnancy went well but my recent one I had more issues
So just because one didn’t go well doesn’t mean the next will too
Both babies I had a 4th degree tear first time it took forever to heal this time the doctor took his time to make sure I’d heal properly and I feel almost there where the first one I didn’t start feeling normal until my son was almost 6 months