My fiance will not allow me to discipline my stepchild: What do I do?

I need some advice, please. I’m living with my fiance and12-year-old stepdaughter (we have her full time). We’ve been together for two years. I love my fiance and stepdaughter dearly, and I see them as my family. I’m at home every day when she gets home from school; I love her, give her hugs, advice, and parent her. I treat her the way I would treat my own child. Today she had been playing up and treating us with disrespect, and my fiance refuses ever to give her consequences for her actions. She doesn’t ever need to take responsibility for her actions, and that’s why we often argue when she is treating us bad or behaving in the wrong way because I think that it is important to teach her and deal with it properly. But because I am only her stepmom, I can’t discipline her without my fiance’s support. I am also 20 weeks pregnant, and after we argued about her behavior and how to deal with it, my fiance told me that we are not a family and never will be because I am only her stepmom. That hurt me a lot because I saw us as a family. How do I deal with this? Add: When I said that we should show her that there are consequences for her actions, he said: “Maybe I need to put you back into your place, not her.”

349 Likes

Run. If he allows his child to treat you with disrespect then hes going to teach the child to walk all over you and it’s going to make your life harder and harder. Also he sounds like he treats with you disrespect.

12 Likes

Leave. It’s only gunna get worse after you have your kid. You will deal with what YOU ALLOW. YOU SHOW HIM THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR BOTH THEIR ACTIONS. Stand your ground.

3 Likes

Leeeeaaaaave him!! Those are huuuge red flags!

4 Likes

Oh my God…I’d be out

Run. When a man speaks like that you should listen.

5 Likes

GET OUT!!! I am divorced after only 2 yrs of marriage because of the same situation
She ran his life… He never told her no or disciplined her… IT WILL NOT GET BETTER!

9 Likes

You’re engaged and pregnant by this man. How is it you’ll never be a family? He should discipline his own child and you are not his child. If he can’t teach her to respect the house rules and check her when she’s wrong then you’re in a very hard place. I personally wouldn’t out my time into her. He can do it all. When he ask for your advice I wouldn’t have any for him.

Wow. You’re better than me cause I’d be calling it quits over that shit. I’d be dammed if he talked to me that way

6 Likes

For him to be saying that makes me wonder what his side of the story would be. I don’t like these advice things because we’re only hearing one side of a story and a lot of it sounds like bullshit and his missing important information

1 Like

Run as fast as you can

4 Likes

Honey, you are in a bad situation. You need to explain the changes that need to take place for you to stay. If He doesn’t consider y’all a family after two years and a sibling on the way he never will.

16 Likes

This is in no way ok. I have 2 step children and i myself am expecting and he would not dare speak to me in that way. If hes talking/ treating you like this now, its only going to get worse.

6 Likes

Get out NOW! Let him deal with what he has raised!

Run, im currently going thru a divorce because my husband said i didnt love his children. But even with him home everynight i was a single full time mom to all 3 of his kids plus my son. Looking back at the last 2yrs i feel like i spent so much time on him and his kids that i put my son on the back burner. His kids would back talk me, call me names, or just walk away from me. He never stepped in, i had to call their mothers to get anywhere with them.

Run away as fast as you can

CONTROL !! He’s exerting control over you- it will only get worse. He sees her as HIS child and therefore his discipline. Sorry but this type of guy is a typical [email protected]#k …he’ll let you do all the dirty work with your step-daughter i.e. feed her, clothe her, take on days out, but he’ll never treat you as an equal parent! You’ll be the general dogsbody!! thats bloody men for you- use you, double fucking standards!!

4 Likes

No way in hell I would stay in that “relationship” after that happened. I certainly wouldn’t want to bring a child up in that setting. You’re better off by yourself than to have to deal with all that. It’s not going to get any better. Trust me.

5 Likes

He doesn’t need to allow you anything. That’s your home too. If the girl disrespect you, You do what You should (don’t spank). If He say something, leave. You are not Their rug to walk over you.

9 Likes

Leave… just leave… not gonna win this

1 Like