My fiances ex is causing drama out of no where: Advice?

So my fiance has a BM, his son had told us that he wanted to spend Thanksgiving with us because his mom was going to work and that he didn’t want to spend it with her boyfriend’s family. So my boyfriend texted her yesterday asking if he could spend the day with us, I think she was in a good mood because she said yes, ( this has never happened, she’s been full of drama the past six years). We were so happy and excited, she also yesterday she asked my fiance if he could pick him up too because she didn’t have anyone to watch him, my fiance also said yes. Then a couple of minutes later, she texted, saying he didn’t have to pick him up after all because she found someone to babysit. Everything was good. Until about 11 pm, we started hearing his phone blow up, he finally checks it, and it was her sending texts paragraphs after paragraphs, saying all kinds of things about him manipulating her and that he was a piece of shit dad, and that he was not picking him up for Thanksgiving. She kept accusing him of trying to take him away from her; he just told her that he was not at all trying to do that, that that’s why he was asking her. She kept going on and on, paragraph after paragraph. We were literally with our mouths open. We kept asking each other what had happened? What had to trigger her all of a sudden? They had been co-parenting pretty well for the last couple of months. We do know that she’s having problems with her boyfriend, his son told us that the boyfriend had kicked her and him out of the house and that he had said that he didn’t want the baby in the house, so I could understand why he doesn’t want to spend that day with him. His son is 9 years old, so he is pretty aware of what’s going on, and he’s expressed how mad he is at the boyfriend, yet mom continues to keep him watch him, we can’t even ask if we could watch him on days that she works because she apparently knows what’s best, but his son keeps telling us how much he hates going over there and how much he hates when he spends the night. I’m just venting. Theirs have never been holidays where we don’t have drama with her. It’s always something. They did break up around the holidays, so IDK if it has something to do with that. But it’s been six years. Shouldn’t she be over it by now?


Emotions get triggered by many unknown factors; especially around the holidays.


Sounds like she’s being told what to say or how to handle it. Also, she could be bitter.
My advice, get a parenting plan if they don’t have one. That way, it’s in writing and if she goes against it, she will be held in contempt.
Good luck!

My agreement is if I have to work and the father of my child wants visitation he gets him until I get off. Holidays are split for the most part and if not split they are even/odd years…If the mother is working what does it hurt to let the father have extra time? The boyfriend has no say in the co-parenting , that’s just none of his business, let the parents do what’s best for the child !!!

Unfortunately some people never get over it and try to manipulate others…


Have him take her back to court for mediation. This way they can have it in writing which holidays they get the child. This way there won’t be any fighting when it’s in writing by the courts.


tell your bf to go to court to ask for visitation rights. let the lawyer handle it for him so he does not need to directly have contact with her but with his son only.


And your fiance isn’t getting off his ass and going to court why? Cuz that’s my only advice

I had this situation with my ex husband from the time my son was 5. If i asked to change weekends for my son to come to a special family get together he would literally send me the amount of how much he was paying in child support for that time, among other ridiculous things. My son was well aware and i let him decide if he wanted me to intervene once he got old enough. Me flipping out made the time there hard. His father put his girlfriends and wives first always. Anyway, my son learned to tolerate, he did not want to rock the boat. I only communicated with his father when i had to because he refused to coparent. When it got to the point that my son would say he didn’t want to go there bc of the girlfriend, i had enough. I spoke to my attorney and went to have custody changed to give my son the legal right to make the decision. Just petitioning that put somewhat of a stop. I don’t have answers for you. But if the child doesn’t feel safe or truly doesn’t want to go, maybe see if he and his ex can sit down and talk. And definitely do not engage like that. Whatever caused such a dramatic text war isn’t worth the attention. I’m sorry you guys are going through this.

If he don’t take her to court and stop playing this game with her…with his son’s well being!!

Sounds like he needs to get custody the boyfriend could abuse the child considering he doesn’t even want the child there to begin with.


Time for your bf to step up and be a dad/man and take her to court for visitation or even custody!! The child is old enough to talk to the courts and let them know what’s going on!! Tired of reading stories from gf about their bf and them not being able to see their kid(s), all while the bf does nothing about it!!


And , it is not your job to have or fix all these relationships either . Duh !


Sounds like her and the boyfriend had a big fight and to “prove” herself to the pos boyfriend, she blew up on baby daddy.


maybe she was just drunk and in her feelings :woman_shrugging:t2: I would also go to court for visitation rights. especially since the son has a Father that cares why should he sleep somewhere else then if he doesn’t want to.


Tough situation would definitely let the courts handle it .Sometimes the other can’t let go they don’t want the person BUT they don’t want anyone else to either. I have been married to My spouse for over 30 yrs and his ex is still a miserable B .

Seems that lady needs a therapist cause she sounds like a straight lunatic & she is probably not over their break up. That poor boy has to see the crap humans she chooses and has to suffer all the adult b.s I was also wondering if he bf ever touched her son in a funny way, it;s not easy for boy to tell that. Seems your man needs to go to court and ask for visitation rights & for her to get mental help. 6 years, you have every right to be concerned.

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Her bi polar must have kicked in js

Show those messages to the court and next time little man talks about stuff going on at the house record him. Go to court and get the kid. Boyfriend could be abusing him and it’s your and bfs job to fight for him. Can’t tell if she’s drunk or in her feeling or drugged up but she’s needs someone to put her in her place. Who better than the law.

She’s probably scared of her boyfriend so she has to flex her muscles in the relationship she can