My four year old will not stop having accidents: Advice?

My 4-year-old daughter will not stop having accidents. At one point, she would be playing with her toys on the floor, and instead of getting up to go potty, she peed right where she was. I feel like she’s just lazy to stop what she’s doing to go to the restroom, when we’re out and about she’ll have “accidents” in her car seat and we do constantly ask her if she has to go potty and she always says no, but it’s a lie … I tried sticker charts and just rewarding her when she did use the potty, but that still doesn’t motivate her. Sometimes she’ll try to be sneaky and hide her clothes. She will start school soon and I am so afraid for her. I don’t want her to maybe be bullied for this. We have taken her to the dr to see if its something she can’t control and there’s nothing wrong. So currently I took away her favorite toy and let her know she’ll have it back at the end of the week if she’s accident free. This is my first child so please give me tips on what to do.

14 Likes

Every 30 minutes. Period. She gets no choice in it. She goes potty regularly until she learns to treat needing to potty as an emergency

7 Likes

My son is 4 and we had this problem for a bit. We had to make him stop what he was doing and go potty. First we did every 30 mins then increased to every hour. Nis he tells us and very rarely has an accident at home. He will in the car, he tells us when he has to go potty and sometimes we just can’t get him to one fast enough

Make her clean up her accidents.

7 Likes

I agree. Going to potty scheduled times was only thing that has worked for mu children. 30mins or an hour that’s it.

1 Like

Some kids are just wired that way . They either dont realize and it’s to late and they don’t care after the fact. You can try everything and it could be happening till age 6 . Do what you must . But it’s not that serious .no point on getting upset .

Dont ask her if she has to go , say hey let’s go potty and go every half hour if necessary. If she says she doesn’t have to just say well sometimes you have accidents so it’s my mommy job to help you till your able to do it all by your self. Dont scold or sound disappointed just matter of fact . If she has a accident have her put cloths in hamper and help pick out fresh ones and say see that’s why mommy want you to try to go even when you think you dont have to .

15 Likes

My daughter had issues until this past summer. She is 5.
We tried EVERYTHING. Even in preschool they did a time chart and was super helpful but to no luck.
I took her to a chiropractor for a month and it stopped along with the chronic constipation.

Make her count to 10 while trying to go and if the flow doesn’t start, do it again a little bit later, do the count every time

I agree with taking her every 30 minutes or so to start. That’s how I potty trained both my girls.

1 Like

I wouldn’t ask her if she has to go. I would just take her. I really don’t think I would take something away from her for a whole week. But that is just my opinion. Your her mom.

1 Like

Any time my daughter is with me I just tell her to go especially during times where she’s very distracted. I also remind her to listen to her body. My daughter is also 4 and she has accidents a lot at dad where there is a lot more going on keeping her distracted. But she’s also 4 and even if she knows how to, we still gotta remind them.

Get up and take her to the bathroom every 30 minutes it’s that simple. Shes not being lazy it’s called her attention is on her toys or whatever shes doing and doesnt want to stop cause shes having fun so you as her parent need to take her to the bathroom

2 Likes

Sounds like a medical condition called Enuresis. Talk to your child’s doctor. Hiding clothes just means she’s ashamed and doesn’t want to be in trouble. I’m dealing with the opposite in my son.

Place her on the toilet every 30 mins. I hate comparing kids to animals but it’s like potty training a puppy. You bring them outside and immediately put them outside when they wake up in the morning.

1 Like

Just remind her to go potty. Please don’t shame. She’s only 4 years old. So sad when expectations are set so high. It’s a child.

2 Likes

Do you still have her in diapers? If so she may be so comfortable that she just doesn’t care. Put her in pretty, big girl panties around the house. Regular material is uncomfortable when it gets wet. I agree with the everyone else about the potty trips every thirty minutes. It is also a good idea to have her help clean up her own messes. If she has to think about what she is doing, she may find she has more self control than she thinks

3 Likes

We take my daughter to the potty every 30 minutes whether she has to go or not. She also has the issue with her answer to everything being “no” and so we just take her regardless. We tried stickers and different reward systems and nothing ever worked. She goes to the potty by herself occasionally but we hope she catches on soon!

Remind her every 30mins to 1hr. That’s what I did when my daughter was younger especially if she’s focused on her tab or toys. I also used to tell her it’s not proper for a girl to just let it out everywhere because it is embarrassing. It’s normal for kids around that age to have accidents just constant reminders & more patience. You got this.

I would recommend a chiropractor. She could have a pinched nerve that’s causing it.