My four year old will not stop having accidents: Advice?

Definitely speak with your daughters pediatrician…could be an underlying medical issue…could be mental such as anxiety playing out tbis way. Kids are very perceptive and aware of things around them…COVID “lockdown” and all the changes could be a reason too.

She may not have the feeling she has to go may need to see a doctor

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Tell her that her toys will still be there after she goes to the bathroom. Put her on the toilet every hour. A potty watch is great-- it makes her responsible and aware at the same time. Make her clean herself up, clothes, floor, everything. She might even have to stop playing and take a bath!( not a fun bath with toys-washing up only) You can tell her that if she has an accident, she will lose her privilege for the toy she was playing with because she’s not making the good choice to stop playing with it and go potty. Stick to that no matter what- remove that toy for a day or two.
NEVER put her back in diapers or pull-ups. This will backfire for one of 2 reasons: 1–she’ll feel degraded or, 2-- it gives her permission to go in her pants and not use the potty.
You can try a chart with her favorite stickers --SHE puts 1 sticker on for each dry day and gets she gets a treat( a trip to the ice cream shop, a new headband, a book, new barrettes, etc.) at the end of each 7 dry days , adding 7 day increments as she goes. One month dry gets a big surprise. Then you’re done-- making sure she knows she can’t go back to accidents to get prizes. Above all, be consistent. As a mom, a grandma, and a Montessori 3-6 year old teacher since 1978, these are tried and true things to do.


It takes some kids longer than others. Just be patient I know it’s frustrating but you don’t want her to feel like she can’t tell u she had a accident. Just keep asking her if she has to go potty. She’ll outgrow it soon I promise. Mom of 3.

Let her wear pull-ups! They look like underwear, and if she has an accident she won’t feel that she has to hide her clothes.


Try not to worry. I know it can be frustrating but one of the best pieces of advice I heard when we were having similar issues was ’ they won’t still be doing it when they’re at college’
My boy was always just too excited about whatever he was doing to stop until it was too late! He’s 6 now and still does what we call a ‘wee dance’ and we have to go stop stop quick run to the toilet! :joy:. Good luck! Try not to stress or upset them. X

Having seen this before, I’d be taking her to the gp.
I’d get her general health check done, including kidneys. If that’s all OK, I’d then go with positive training. Also, don’t wait for her to tell you. Say ‘mummy needs a wee, ill race you to the toilet’ etc rather than ‘do you need a wee?’

Instead of asking her take her and when she goes celebrate, jump for joy. Positive reinforcement. Also it’s important for them to hear from you that accidents happen and you love her either way. Sticker chart when after she goes potty


My daughter was the same when she started toilet training, although in public and other people’s houses she was fine she’d use the toilet but at home, she’d wee anywhere and everywhere wouldn’t bother going to the toilet, that lasted about a year, she was 2 and a bit when she started, she’s now 7 and leaves going to the toilet till last minuet, I have no advise, I tried removing toys, time out taking her to the toilet myself every 10-15 minuets constantly asking if she needs to go, rewards you name it, she just eventually grew out of it,

Does she clean herself up? Redress herself? Sometimes making them do all including out wet ones in washing machine etc. they get tired of dealing with cleanup? :woman_shrugging:


my son had to go to jk in pull ups when he seen the other children go he wanted to go as well and we never had another trouble after that

I don’t know that Taking away her favorite toy is the answer to this problem.

Make her clean herself up. Rinse her own clothing out after the accident, re-dress herself. Go back to the timer method, on the potty every hour. Potty training shouldn’t be reinforced by negativity or discipline.I’m also a first time mom. My son will be 3 in March. Upon potty training him this past summer, when he started showing signs of regression this fall I went back to giving him the option of wearing a pull up for outings, in the car and bed time. He absolutely hated being in the diaper again. I also make him clean out his own potty when he uses it. I don’t know that this method would work for every one. This is what worked for us though. My son sleeps through the night with no diapers. And has been in the car for 4+ hours no diaper. He’ll be 3 March 6th.


My son did this and I have babysat many kids that did this also. They are just scared they are gonna miss something, just like when they dont want to stop playing to take a nap. I think what you’re doing is fine! I did the same thing to my son. He grew out of it!

My son is having this priceless problem too! Also he never wakes up dry, no matter how many potty tries, small water drinks and none before bed, nothing works. We were not using pull ups but he goes through sheets and jammies so often and needs a 6:30 am bath before daycare everyday. We’re losing our minds

Never take a child’s stuff away that is counter productive. This could be manifesting from anxiety or something else. Some kids just take longer for their bodies to send those signals to a child. She will get it just don’t make it a huge deal that could backfire badly.

Dont ask her just put her on the potty. When we were having that issue I brought out the timer and every hr she had to sit whether she had to go or not. If we’re out running errands, even if she says no I make mine try and she almost always has to go.


All so just ask her what dp you want tp quit going in her clothes an use the grandson said speggittos told him one month no accidents i would get him a case worked.u also need to remember that is the one thimg they. Have controll over.

Having the same issue with my almost 4 year old. Instead of asking if she has to go potty i just tell her to go. I ask every 30mins to an hour and everything she goes. Is tough but you got this momma.

We got my son a potty watch. You can set it to go off every 30, 60, or 90 minutes and it tells them to go to the bathroom. It was a fun and cool thing for him and it helped A LOT.

Stick with a schedule–toilet before and after eating, when she gets up in the morning, and after naps. You also have the option of putting her back in diapers. My second granddaughter (3 years old), just decided one day that she was done with diapers. Some kids just take longer. I do know that it will get worse if you are stressed about it. And, of course, make sure that there are no medical conditions.