My four year old will not stop having accidents: Advice?

So couple of questions:

  1. can she just not realize she had to go until she really has to go and then she just can’t make it in time? I personally am this way, i dont have to go into i have to go.

  2. try setting a timer for every 30 minutes and when the timer goes off she has to go sit on the potty and try to go for a couple minutes

  3. no one likes to ask this question but has she been inappropriately touched? This can be a huge sign of abuse that most people don’t realize.

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Potty timer every 30 minutes have her sit for no less than 2min and then after a week or two go to every hour then so on as it fits your schedule

Put her back in diapers. She’s not ready.

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Every child is different and every parents method to potty training is different. In my state most schools will not accept your child into kindergarten unless they are potty trained, but kindergarten is also not a requirement. I wouldn’t be worried about other children making fun of her more so the part of if she will be accepted into the school. And yes, I know I’m probably going to get crap for saying that, but it’s fact here in my state. One question I have is, was your daughter potty trained before this or did you just start potty training. My daughter is 3 and we had tried several times to potty train and she was just not getting it so we took a break and tried to make the potty sound awesome and explain that she has to learn to use the potty if she wants to go to school. Once we picked it back up on trying she was ready. Now she had accidents and we made her help clean up. At some point we started doing timeouts only because it was obvious she knew when she needed to go because she would hide and then pee or poop herself. I would have not done timeouts if it wasn’t obvious she knew when she needed to go. And I know some parent would not agree with me on this as well. Lots of positive reinforcement when she did go. Dancing and clapping, fruit snacks, etc. We tried stickers on paper and she didn’t care, but she loved putting them on her potty. She’s been accident free for about 1 1/2 months now. We couldn’t force her to sit on the potty ourselves or it was a fight but I know that works for some parents. You’re honestly just going to have to try to figure out what works best for you and her and I wish you luck.

Time outs. 4 minutes each time since she is 4yrs old!

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My daughter is five and has been doing that just at home.if they know better and there’s nothing wronge I usually take away the for everything atleast for me

Talk to her doctor about the timer method and to see if any medical issues but my girls took till age 5 to potty train fully

Don’t ask. Sit her on the toilet every hour whether she says she has to or not. Eventually she’ll just go on her own. If she does go on her own make a huge deal about like you won the lottery. Pick up the phone and pretend you’re talking to grandma or whoever and brag about what she did.


Make her take scheduled potty breaks even when she says she did need to.

Start taking her to the toilet every hour. Be with her and make sure she gets on the potty. Stay with her till she is done and washes her hands. It will click in . I know it sounds tedious, but don’t we all need a little extra attention once in a while ?

Your best bet would be having you child use the bathroom like a small schedule she can follow. Can be from every half after she’s had something to drink. I’m having same problem with my 5year. But I’m also potty training a 3yr old and 2yr who’s following along. So this is my only solution for now as they will not tell me if they need potty time. Hopefully you get some helpful tips. And she passes this stage before she starts school.

If there is no reason that is evident, I say ‘give it a try’!

Take her to the toilet and sit her on it often

I personally don’t think she should be punished by taking her favorite toy. That’s just cruel in my opinion. She doesn’t have control over her bladder yet, she’s still young and learning.
Perhaps she can’t feel that she has to go? Start potty training from the beginning. Have her go on a timer, sit on the potty for a few minutes every 30 minutes, first thing when she wakes up, etc. Get on a schedule until she can do it on her own. You can try the three day method of wearing no clothes for two days and getting on the potty of a schedule then panties/regular clothes the third day and having an putting for a few hours.
Also don’t ask her if she has to pee, just have her sit on the potty.


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Have the Dr check her for UTI

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My granddaughter went through the same thing. Turned out she was constipated due to an issue with her colon. She wasn’t feeling an urge to go because of all the pressure on her bladder. It is now controlled and she rarely has an accident. Her pediatrician kept saying it was behavioral but my daughter finally took her to a GI specialist and got answers. I’m not saying that she has the same issue but it may be worth looking into.


Our doctor said the brains signals to the bladder are not fully developed until around age 9, unfortunately bodies don’t go based on what we want. The truth is it will happen when their body is ready. Punishing them for something they have no control over can just make matters worse


I’m having the same issue with my 2 year old except, she will only pee on the potty and refuses to poop. We’ve tried everything. Making her sit every hour, giving her rewards, catching her when she does it and make her sit down, taking things away, poop showers (cause she isn’t fond of water over her head and sometimes she plays with it and is covered head to toe). Idk what else to do either.

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Ask the advice of her pediatrician not the internet for this , it may be medical or not and will have professional knowledge pediatricians deal with this issue often and every child is different and unique there are many good opinions here but how to choose from so many that don’t know your child is really hard . Good luck mom I’m certain she won’t be walking down the aisle in a diaper that’s what my pediatrician told me lol